starzafandomblog: (Default)
What better way to return to my old fandom than by finding some bad Star Ocean fic?

Series: Star Ocean 3: Till the End of Time
Title: Love on a Limb
Author: Larien Surion
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: E
Warning: Horrible characterization, lots of character bashing, uke!Albel (!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *Mind blown*), mpreg
Couple (if applicable): Fayt/Albel, IN THAT ORDERi

Plot: 3/10 - There's like, no plot to this, and I have no idea if this takes place pre or post canon, to be honest. Basically, Fayt gets massively injured in a fight to the point where he can't use his leg. Albel makes a cast(?) for him, then winter comes, Fayt chooses to go with Albel, Woltar tries to play matchmaker, despite Albel's wishes (Since when did Woltar EVER actually act like an asshole to Albel, like mean spiritedly???), Cliff feeding Albel a 'harmless love potion' so that Woltar can get Albel into an 'arranged marriage', so Fayt basically takes care of the problem by sleeping with him, cept it ends up being a mpreg potion (HOW does that even work), they have like 8 kids and live happily ever after.

Like where do I even begin with this???? I can't, because it BARELY passes as a Star Ocean fic, and it's just so bizarre... The ONLY reason this sits at a 3? Because Albel is the uke here. Yeah, of EVERY damn Fayt and Albel fic I've read, NOT ONE has ever involved Fayt being the top. So to see a fic where he is on top and taking charge? Shocking.

Too bad the plot is a mangled mess. And the smut isn't good in it at all (Persona 5 fandom has SPOILED me rotten with good smut pieces).

Writing: 2/10 - On top of this mess of a heap plot, we also get the blandest writing I've seen in a while too. Bad spelling? Check. Misspelling proper names? Check. Grammar fails (You're and your for example)? Check. He said, she said littered throughout the entire story? Check.

Also, the paragraphs are wonky in later chapters, maybe due to Fanfiction.net's stupid formatting, but who knows.

The entire story is just so sloppy written. And to top off the shit sundae...

Characterization: 0/10 - Characters not acting like themselves! Joy! We have, of course, Sophia bashing. We have quite a few scenes with Roger bashing. I mean look, I don't like either of those characters. So what do I do? Write them out of the story! Wow, I mean, how hard is that to do, authors!?

NO character in this story acts like the character from canon, not a single one. You could change the names and proper names and never guess this was a Star Ocean fanfic. Authors, when I'm reading fanfiction, I want to read about the characters from whatever fandom I'm looking at. Otherwise, WHY write fanfiction?? Go write original fiction, at least you may get money in the process!

What baffles me is the indirect Woltar bashing. Like, of ALL the characters to use this shit on, him???? He isn't even that important of a character to the original game, but I'd have to say he respects Albel quite a bit, so seeing him being manipulative??? Yeah, no.

Albel acting uke blew my mind, because I rarely see it. I'm always bitching about Fayt being a whining pile, but here, for once, it's the opposite. And while I wouldn't mind Albel being on bottom for once, it's not done well here at all. Not to mention the whole 'male getting pregnant' issue, not to mention it's never said how Albel gave birth. I guess the author didn't want to go into the details. Or more like, couldn't. >.> So I'll just assume he shat them out.

Negatives: Just about everything in this story is a negative, yeah, it's that freaking bad
Summary: Fayt gets wounded in a fight, Albel decides to take care of him. Out of that blossoms love, I think?
Overall: 1.6/10 - It's been a real long time since I came across a fic that was this bad, let alone a Star Ocean 3 one. I'd only recommend reading this if you're really freaking bored out of your mind or a masochist. Otherwise, stay the FUCK away.

Coming up next? Maybe some Persona 5 fics. Maybe I'll review one of the many recommendations in my pinned post.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Remember what I said to the last fic? Yeah, this is why you sometimes don't need a sequel. Or maybe write the whole story instead of half the story!

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Time After
Author: ErrantFeather
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: M
Warnings: Minor Sophia and Maria bashing, lots of OCs, NSFW stuff, confusing plot
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt, one sided Fayt/Sophia, Albel/Alternate(!?) Fayt

Plot: 4/10 - I gave this a low score because of one thing: This story feels like half of a story. The author made a huge mistake and wrote this entire story from Albel's PoV when it would've really benefitted from third person or Fayt's PoV in every other chapter. He gets one part in one chapter, but it's short and Fayt's PoV is not spoken about again and Fayt doesn't even appear till near the end of the story.

Again, the gang is going after the rest of the Programmers, but because of ebil!Sophia, she makes a deal with one of them to get rid of Albel. However, it backfires and Albel gets stuck in 4D space. The only way for Albel to get back is to cooperate with the Incantarix and find an alternate universe and try to find someone with the connection gene to send Albel back.

Yeah, I probably lost people there. In the alternate universe, Albel comes across alternate Fayt and things proceed to get confusing from there.

And this is the story's problem. Maybe the author was trying to explain the 'alternate dimension' that you see in the Lava Caves, but it's not pulled off well. Not to mention, the story is already confusing enough with the genetic part of it and all these programmers and OCs and now we have to deal with an alternate universe that basically is a parallel of the Eternal Sphere?

Meanwhile, something is taking place in the Eternal Sphere and we're left in the dark about it. Which is why this story should've either been third person or have interludes featuring Fayt. When I finished the story, I felt like I missed half the story and went back chapters to see if I missed anything.

Also, the ending is kinda cheesy.

Writing: 9/10 - Again, nothing is wrong with the writing. Except the lack of paragraphs. But it has a lot of dialogue, so it doesn't matter too much.

Characterization: 2/10 - Okay, I know Sophia can be immature and sometimes a bit of a bitch. But I don't believe for one minute she would try to send Albel to 4D space out of jealousy. I believe that Fayt and Sophia were close childhood friends. But that's all I think they were, just friends. Believe it or not, male and female friendships do exist. I don't think Sophia might be too happy with Fayt's choice, but to go as far as destroying his happiness? I don't think so.

Albel just doesn't seem like Albel and neither does Fayt. Just like the last story, they seem to suffer from the 'love starved' sydrome. Especially Albel, but then again, this is from his PoV. The author just doesn't do a good job of keeping Albel in character, I don't feel like this is the Albel from the game or a very sedated Albel from who we know. He also seems very 'emo', which I don't doubt Albel is, but I see him as more of a snarky guy trying to hide being emo from others.

Negativities: Indirect Sophia bashing, OCC Albel and Fayt, feels half told
Summary: The quest to restore peace from Luther's programmers continues. Only there's a snag along the way...
Overall: 5/10 - Good writing cannot save a story, sadly. Probably best not to bother with the sequel unless you really want to know what happens from the first fic on how they deal with the enemy. That is, if you can manage to follow the plot from both stories.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
This next story though, is a really mixed bag. I don't think it's bad fic, but I don't think it's the greatest fics I've ever read. A confusing one... Ya, if you haven't played SO3 by now and are worried about spoilers... Don't read this. :P

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Time Will Tell
Author: ErrantFeather
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: M
Warnings: Minor Sophia bashing, lots of OCs, not canonly correct(?)
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt, one sided Fayt/Sophia, one sided Fayt/Maria, Nel/OC

Plot: 7/10 - The only reason it scores this high because the plot itself is very very creative. But it's very very strange. We start post-game with Fayt staying on Elicoor II. Then we have Albel's family thrown into the mix.

I really think the author plays with canon a bit too much here. Albel's mom is apparently from Aquaria and his parent's marriage was political (I think it was to explain why Albel looks a little like the Queen of Aquaria, red eyes and her hair is black with blonde highlights too), and that he's the nephew of the Queen of Aquaria. Then you have Albel's younger brother, who had a twin, and a sister and... Yeah, this is NOT cannon at all. Period.

Meanwhile, we have people from 4D space interferring. There was a rumor going around that Elena was actually a 4D being, but in this story she's not. But there ARE 4D beings, specifically programmers that worked under Luther, messing around with the Eternal Sphere and... it's really damn confusing. Meanwhile, we have another plot going on behind the scenes about Albel taking his mother's place in something called the 'Circle of Voices'. Then we have a bunch of confusing ass flashbacks trying to explain how Albel got his 'Wicked' title, and then we have something about transferring Fayt's powers because of what happened in game and it's just...

It's really damn confusing.

Writing: 9/10 - Nothing wrong with the writing at all except it lacks paragraph structure a bit. It's perfect here.

Characterization: 3/10 - This is where the story really flunks because of the plot, too many OCs, and the minor Sophia bashing.

First of all, I really don't like how Albel is portrayed in this fic. And I think it's more to do with the back history than the way he's written. I know where the author was going with this fic, but it just... really didn't work out, in my opinion. Giving Albel family was probably the first mistake, moreso with his brothers and sister, though the sister plays a very minor role. Helgrave is a very important character and I honestly thought he shouldn't have been related to Albel, maybe like a close friend or something. Albel also falls victim to the 'love starved' sydrome, which throws his character off a bit too.

I'm also not too fond of Fayt's portrayal here either, and I can't really pinpoint why. I think it's because he's too focused on Albel, but he also seems sort of love starved as well. I think his feelings develop too soon for Albel and the plot behind Maria transferring the destruction gene to Albel to keep him alive just... lacked something. It might be again, it's not canon, because Fayt's father died, and I think his father was more his focus, not Albel.

I like to think Fayt developed feelings for Albel near the end of the game. Technically, you could make a case for it before the end of disk 1 if you really wanted to. To me, though, that's too soon because Fayt doesn't really know Albel too well, near the end of the game at least gives time to it to develop.

Nel plays a huge role, and while there's nothing really wrong with her character, something seems off as well. Maybe it's how her relationship with Helgrave developed or maybe she's sedated from normal, I don't know.

The other characters play minor roles and I really don't like the indirect bashing of Maria and Sophia here either. You can tell the author doesn't really like them, so they suffer a little bit from OOC sydrome. In fact, I think all the cast does to some minor degree here.

Negativities: Really confusing plot, too many OCs, not cannonly accurate, OOC sydrome
Summary: Fayt tries to start a new life on Elicoor II with Albel. Too bad things never work out how they should...
Overall: 6.3/10 - If you're REALLY desperate for Albel/Fayt fics and want some substance to it, this fic might be good to read. It's confusing plot and it not being cannonly accurate sort of spoil what could've been a great fic. However, don't real the sequel to it, it's 100% beyond a doubt, horrible.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Joy... :( This author seems to be popular and she streams out stories pretty fast. She's written a LOT of SO3 fics and Death Note fics. The problem? They're pretty much ALL bad. Or horrid AUs. I started with her supposed first fanfic because it's like one of the only fics on the actual game timeline, but... urgh

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Death and Destruction
Author: crematosis
Genre: Angst/Humor(?)
Rating: T
Warnings: Sophia bashing, massive amounts of OOCness, PwP
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt, one sided Fayt/Sophia

Plot: 2/10 - Seriously, what plot? There's like... nothing to work with here. I'm assuming it's before the game ends, but even I can't exactly tell. Basically, it's a bunch of Albel and Fayt bonding moments, alongside the other main cast acting like a bunch of crazed Yaoi fanbrats. And lots of Sophia bashing. Reading this fic makes me WANT to write a Sophia based fic.

The only interesting concept is how Fayt wants someone to look at him 'normally' instead of a weapon, but Albel's stubbornness tries to get to the bottom of it. In fact, in my fanfic, that's how Fayt feels. The problem is if the characters weren't a mangled mess, it could work.

Writing: 2/10 - There are a lot of spelling errors here that a simple spell checker could pick up. There's no excuse for this. Open Office is free and does the same thing Microsoft Word can do, it also has a spelling checker in it. There's even grammar errors like forgetting to put the quotation marks at the beginning or ending the dialogue, commas missing or being misplaced. The Author even mispells canon names wrong.

It's a mess, to put it simply.

Characterization: 1/10 - Without a doubt, every character is completely OCC. A perfect example:

Albel jammed his claw back on and slumped back into his seat. "My father dove in to save me from a worse fate. Because of me, a pathetic weakling like me is allowed to live and my father died."

"That sucks," Fayt said with a bitter laugh.


Do I even need to say what's wrong with this one part? Fayt can be a douche sometimes, but here, he's a total dickwad. Albel pours his heart out and all Fayt can say is 'sux2bu'????

Not to mention, when Fayt goes to Arias, he's beaten up and spit on. Um, after I got Maria in my group, when I went to Arias, no one said anything nasty or punched Fayt in the balls.

Let's not forget that everyone in the group is like a yaoi fanbrat from Cliff to Nel to even freaking Maria. And Sophia bashing of course.

I don't like Sophia myself, she's a very bland and boring character that never really gets developed too well (I believe she was just added in SO3 because it lacked a total Symbology user. In the original, Mirage and Adray were not playable characters, and considering Sophia isn't obtained till Disk 2 and if your mana hits 0, you die... Yeah, you don't really need a Symbology user). But good fucking lord, she's practically Fayt's BEST FRIEND. She would not treat him like dog poo if he developed feelings for someone, wheither it's Albel or someone else. She isn't THAT flat of a character and she was never truely bitchy unless Fayt was an insensative jerk first.

Negativities: OCCness to the max, lots of spelling/grammar issues, no real plot.
Summary: Fayt is angsting about the terrible powers he wields. Too bad a certain swordsman won't leave him alone.
Overall: 1.6/10 - Probably one of the worst Albel/Fayt fics I've read outside of this fic. It had an interesting idea, but the author cripples it completely.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Here's a fic I found that actually is really good and of all places, on AdultFanfiction.net. It was originally on the Fayt and Albel community, but not every part was posted. This is the case of a 'under-appreciated' fic sydrome.

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Eye of Apris
Author: [livejournal.com profile] mishaelamk
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: MA
Warnings: A bit of violence, NSFW obviously
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt

Plot: 9/10 - For a story that may not seem to have a plot or very little main plot, it has a lot of very interesting ideas. Unlike the last story, this fic pulls those ideas off really well. We have Albel seeming to 'drift' after the events of SO3, when Fayt suddenly makes an appearance on Elicoor II and of all places, picks Airyglyph. Only Fayt isn't exactly there for a visit. Then while that's going on, we got character development between Albel and Fayt along with a side-plot with Nel and then off in the background, we actually have another political plot brewing. Believe it or not, the OCs that are in the fic are also well written and likeable too.

I love how the author incooperated ideas like the Air Dragons having a pact with the Nox family, and the Mid-Winter holiday being like Christmas. The plot isn't grandiose, but it doesn't have to be and makes for good reading.

Writing: 9/10 - Pretty much picture perfect writing here. I was always kept on the edge of my seat and the smut bits were written well. The story flows naturally from start to finish.

Characterization: 9/10 - This is probably the only Albel/Fayt fic that I've read where both of them are in character. Albel/Fayt fics tend to have a problem of either making Fayt too submissive or Albel becomes too gushy. This fic has the perfect balance of keeping both Fayt and Albel in character.

The ONLY problem I have with the fic is Fayt is a tiny bit too submissive to Albel, especially somewhat near the middle, but it's explained in such a well manner that I can pretty much forgive it. Also, unlike in a lot of fics, Fayt takes an active role in the foreplay, which is exactly what I see him doing.

Albel is wonderfully written in this fic, having a sense of honor, pride, and duty mixed in with a snarky nature. He's blunt and to the point, but isn't overly cruel like how a lot of fics make him out to be. In fact, this story may actually be my favorite representation of Albel I've seen in any Albel/Fayt fics. Nel also makes an appearance and is remarkably well written as well. There's a few other characters and OCs that appear, but they only add to the story and strengthen it.

Negativities: Simple plot
Summary: After the fight with *spoilers*, Albel goes home to Airyglyph, but feels restless. During the Mid-Winter festival, Fayt mysteriously shows up at Airyglyph's castle. But why has he come? And why does he insist on staying with Albel?
Overall: 9/10 - Probably one of the better Albel/Fayt fics I've read that manages to keep both characters in character. If you love this pairing at all, this fic is right up your alley.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Today I return with Star Ocean 3 fic. One good one and one bad one. First, the bad.

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Subjective or Ideal
Author: DeadKidRising
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: M
Warnings: NSFW, wangst, angst, indirect Sophia bashing
Couple (if applicable): Fayt/Albel, hints of Cliff/Nel, one sided Fayt/Sophia

Plot: 4/10 - You know those stories that start off with a good idea, but then decend into horrible fic? This is it. The fic starts out with a really good idea, what if one of the characters just didn't want to come back from *spoilers*, but Fayt forced them to come back anyways? I loved that idea, and though Sophia wasn't really the ideal choice, I could accept it.

How horribly the fic decends from there.

The fic then tries to incooperate the famous Romero from Albel's ending, along with the Federation knowing about Fayt, Sophia, and Maria. It has some other interesting concepts like going to the world of the dead and having certain characters helping them out. But the plot is so beyond bizarre and the characters are so OOC, you forget it's a SO3 fic if Cliff didn't call Fayt 'kid' or Albel spew 'fool' and 'maggot' every so often.

Has a few good ideas, but executed horribly beyond belief.

Writing: 5/10 - The writing itself doesn't have any problems besides the spelling and grammar mistakes you see from time to time. The biggest problem with this story is constantly switching from first person to third person. KEEP the PoV in one or the other, don't flip-flop through the story. Sometimes, I got confused at who's PoV I'm looking at.

Characterization: 1/10 - Everyone is pretty much OOC here. Fayt going uber uke and Albel just... not being Albel. I mean, Albel is a really hard character to grasp and having feelings for Fayt wouldn't just all of a sudden give him a 180 in personality change. Fayt is very weepy and whiny here, and while he had his whiny moments in SO3, it's been multiplied by about hundred to the third power.

Their 'romance' scenes are your typical scenes you see in every clean cut seme/uke yaoi fic out there, which demeans Fayt and Albel's relationship. I don't think their relationship can be defined your typical seme/uke roles, more so than Tsuzuki and Hisoka from YnM. Fayt is strong in his own right, and I don't see Albel submitting to anyone unless there is a clean cut trust between them. I see them as more equals than anything, which pretty much goes against your typical seme/uke setup. Putting either of them in this setup and you either have Fayt being too emo or whiny or you have Albel being way too lenient and open than how he is.

Negativities: OCCness up the asshole, confusing PoV switches
Summary: After a certain someone's demise, the group doesn't want to split up just yet. Also, Fayt has something he's been keeping from everyone. And other weird stuff happens...
Overall: 3.3/10 - A perfect example of a story that has good ideas but horribly executed. This could've been a good fic that explores ideas and concepts that aren't explored, but is wasted.
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Community: [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove

Themes:

Attraction
Romance
Passion
Intimacy
Commitment

Community: [livejournal.com profile] 10_passions

Themes:

1. Secret Encounter
2. Along the Moonlit Bay
3. Sarcasm
4. Hidden from the World
5. His Place
6. Addicted To Your Touch
7. Don't Be Afraid
8. The Space Between Us
9. Starry Heavens
10. The Road Back To You
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Note: All Sims stories have been removed due to lack of interest on my part and that I can't host pictures for them anymore.

Title: Routine
Rating: PG
Pairing: Albel/Fayt
Genre: General
Warning: End game spoilers
Summary: Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you...
Prompt: Post-game day-in-the-life type story, with characterization over smut
Author's Notes: For [livejournal.com profile] yaoi_challenge 2007. Not really one of my better works. It was rushed since some things in life came up but I still wanted to make the deadline. Sorry, no smut. :(

Not archieved anywhere else cause the writing is beyond poor, since I was more into WoW even though I had several months in advance to write this story. Not beta-read either.

Daily... )
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Here's a perfect example of how NOT:

1. To write an AU
2. To write Albel/Fayt

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Dead by Christmas: A Christmas Special
Author: Tolanya
Genre: Romance/melodrama
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, sex, more violence, dark adult themes
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt
Plot: 1/10 - AUs have always been the bane of my existance, mainly because not many have the talent to throw the characters we know and love into an entirely different universe, keep the characters true to themselves, and write a half-way decent plotline.

This story is no exception.

The story starts off with Fayt and Albel already in a relationship. The two of them are in high school, and apparently, Fayt's father and brother (?) are very very homophobic Christians and basically beat Fayt bloody till he's nearly or totally unsciousness. They also threaten to kill him on Christmas.

Oh, and apparently, Albel has an Uncle who molests him on every ocassion. Eventually, Albel kills him. And tries to kill himself, but lo and behold, a girl scout comes and recuses him from certain death. O_o

So Christmas comes and right before the father and brother kill Fayt, surprise (Or not), Albel comes to the rescue, killing the entire family.

Yes, that's the entire story, with some sex (In McDonald's, of ALL places!), character bashing, and dirty talk coming into play. Excuse me while I vomit in my trash can.

Pretty much, it's like an adult soap opera gone bad. The plot is beyond bizarre and goes into 'Welcome to Strangeville'. The fact that scares me is that this is a prequel to a previous story, which doesn't give me any sort of want to read the original, not to mention the Sophia bashing that reeked from the summary for the original story.

Writing: 4/10 - Chapters are very very short. The lemon is beyond tacky along with the plotline. The only reason it doesn't get a lower score is because it's readable and looks like it was run through a spelling/grammar checker.

Characterization: 1/10 - Basically, you could slap different names on these characters and pass it up as original fic. BAD original fic.

We got Christian bashing. Check. Sophia bashing. Check. Mangled Albel and Fayt. Check. A tard plotline. Check.

Basically, the characters don't sound like themselves, Albel and Fayt act like teeny bops, the happenings in the story are beyond bizarre, the characters don't even retain their core personalities...

Why a 1 and not a 0? Because thank godfully, most of the cast is absent from this piece of filth.

Negativities: OOC to the max, stupid AU plotline, christian and Sophia bashing, tacky lemon, pointless violence...

Summary: Fayt's family finds out his 'gaytruluv' is Albel and threaten to kill Fayt on Christmas. Will he survive? Do you really care?

Overall: 2/10 - I think this was one of the worst SO3 fanfics I managed to come across. I cannot understand why people like this author so much, because her AU plotlines are melodrama after melodrama. There is angst, wangst, and melodrama. This is pure melodrama to the max. Stay the hell away from this story.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Sadly, I think I may give up on finding a decent Albel/Sophia fic.

The good news is that, while this author says that Keeki and allmysensesfail's fics are better, hers is much much better than theirs.

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: BitterSweet Motivations
Author: Dragon Chyld
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Sophia, implied Fayt/Sophia, implied Fayt/Maria, implied Cliff/Mirage
Plot: 5/10 - There isn't much plot, it takes place pre and post game and tries to build up Albel/Sophia's relationship, but does it too fast and it ends into marriage much too quickly, like most het romances seem to do.

Up around chapter 10, Sophia gets mistaken for *spoilers*, which is sort of a cheap cop-out, really. It doesn't really affect anything till the end of the story.

Unfortuantely, the story suffers from 'love triangle' sydrome, aka, making one or more people to be 'bad' or seem to get in the middle of our pairing in the story. If anything, the love triangle thing is a even cheaper cop-out. Luckily, it's done without character bashing.

And the marriage in the end is very very rushed. Whatever happened to old fashioned woeing? :/

And what happened with the Federation incident too? That sort of vanishes completely from the storyline.

Writing: 7/10 - Sadly, this story is written fairly odd. It's supposed to be a narrator telling the story to the audience, but a lot of the time, it goes back more to third person and then ocassionally comes back to first person. It's important to keep everything in the same PoV, but it flip flops and you sometimes forget that this was ever written from someone else's PoV.

Sadly, parts to this fic are written like the world is a game, with mana and health bars. This makes the fic look silly at times where it tries to be serious.

There are a few errors here and there, but they're not noticable. The fic is fairly well written and flows rather nicely.

Characterization: 5/10 - Up till around chapter 6, the author was doing a fair buildup between the two. Until the 'truth serum' incident.

Spoilers for the fic )

Negativities: Not enough build up on the main pairing

Summary: A certain swordsman has caught the eye of Sophia, and she's determined to get to know him, wheither he likes it or not. Sadly, while the first parts show promise, the story deludes and rushes into their relationship too quickly.

Overall: 5.6/10 - Much better than the previous two stories, but not by much, mainly from a not so strong plot and mediorc characterizations. There were times where characters were spot on (Cliff, Mirage), but when characters were off, they were off the mark, big time. You could give this story a whirl, but unless you are originally a fan of Albel/Sophia, you're not gonna be won over to this pairing with this fic.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Yeah, I know I said I'd go back and forth between good fic and bad fic. But I figured since I'm getting a little tired of Albel/Fayt fic and I don't see much luck with Suikoden 5 fic (Current obsession), I might as well try something else. The goal: Try to find a decent Albel/Sophia fic.

Sadly, this is a failure too. Really, I should've known, given this author's homophobic attitude, how she put up 'flames' on her profile (Now it's just pairings she liked and story progress), how she flaunted at some people at deviant-art, the fact that she's 15 and writing lemons on a site that doesn't allow them, and... Yeah, I'd try giving her fic the benefit of the doubt.

What is good is that at least it's a bit better than the last one. Just a bit.

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Kill the Silence
Author: allmysensesfail
Genre: Romance/Drama/Suspence
Rating: R - NC-17
Warnings: Lime/lemon, some cursing, adult themes
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Sopha, Fayt/Sophia, Cliff/Mirage
Plot: 3/10 - Basically, the story goes like this: Rejection, sex, blackmail!Albel and emo!Sophia, naked stuff, more blackmail, more emo!Sophia, more sex, battles, Fayt finding out (o noes!), emo!Sophia, almost sex, jealous fits, boring battles, death of *spoilers*, more sex, more blackmail, more emo!Sophia, plot 'thickens', time passes (They spend 3 months in a hotel room!?), emo!reunion, more sex (WHY is this on FF.net???), more obvious foreshadowing, little knowledge of 'age of consent' law and any other laws, cue court room drama music, more emo!Sophia, the official return of *spoilers*, more threats and violence, more sex (Le sigh), death of... urgh, marriage, endage.

Basically, while this plot is original, it's so bizarre, that I can barely make heads or tails of it. The story begins pre game with Sophia walking to Albel's room casually asking him for sex. Later you find out that she asked to have sex with Albel because Fayt rejected her, cue projection, pissy + jealous!Albel, and more off the wall drama.

For a few chapters, that's what it mostly is, a bunch of emo!Sophia moments and lots of sex. Then the story turns post game and our heroes are places on trial because they've broken the UP3, even though up to this point, no one really cared they broke the UP3, let alone if the Federation even exists anymore.

Cue lots of sex and sexual content, a psycho Fayt, a court case that turns up NOT to have anything to do with the UP3 at all, more sex, and happily ever after. Unlike the other Albel/Sophia fic, this story tries to have some sort of plot going alongside the sex scenes, but it turns out to be tacky and the laws themselves not being properly researched.

Sophia IS above the age of having sex, at least in this state. In many parts of the country, the legal age of having sex varies. And you could say that Sophia may have turned 18 in the process of their journey. So the whole 'Albel slept with a minor!' thing would only apply if the legal age was 18, but in many parts of the US, it varies. In fact, outside the US, it can get as low as 12! So in Star Ocean's world, it would probably be likely to have the age of consent fall in the middle, along the lines of 15 or 16.

Plus, Sophia's father AND Fayt's mother are alive, cue paired Fayt and Sophia ending, and while Fayt is above the age of 18, I'm not really sure he could become Sophia's legal guardian, because mainly, he can't support her, he has no job and no income to speak of, even if it was part of the will. Most courts would laugh that a 19 year old wants who has no way to support a young child, wants to be their legal guardian, let alone a 17 year old child.

Let's get into the romance... Or what romance? Seriously, it starts with sex, some plot, more sex, and that's about it. There's little to no build up, very much on Albel's side more than Sophia's, since girls do sometimes do what she did. But even after that, there's just... nothing.

Writers, you cannot write on a pairing that has little to no build-up in canon and expect fans to think that the pairing somehow works in your fic with little build-up.

Writing: 6/10 - Okay, one sentence does NOT equal a paragraph. Neither does two. It's three sentences that make an entire paragraph, save for dialogue, and let me tell you, finding a paragraph in this story is rare save lemon scenes. I'm a paragraph freak myself, where if I see the wall of text, I will skim right by it. But there is no need to make every single sentence into one pargraph.

And people, STOP writing the world like it's a game with talk of 'levels', 'heath bars' and the like.

What IS funny is the paragraphs suddenly appear around chapter 6. Where the lemon scene comes into place. On a site that does NOT allow lemons. By someone who is 15.

There are quite a few spelling and grammar errors, but surprisingly, the lemons are written well. A little too well, compared to the rest of the story, really, which makes me a bit suspicious, mainly because the lemons stick out from some parts of the story all together.

Characterization: 2/10 - Rule one, do NOT let your personal feelings for characters soak into a story.

Example: 'And Peppita, the freaky carnie one, was wriggling and struggling to not get up and dance around like the dumbass she was.' = BIG freaking no no, and this was in Chapter 2 alone!

Story spoilers )

Negativities: emo!Sophia, horny!Albel, Satan!Fayt, OOC!Cliff, courtroom drama, melodrama

Summary: Albel blackmails Sophia after she came to him with the offer for sex. They then somehow realize their 'truluv' for each other. People find out, get angry, but go defeat *spoilers*. *spoilers* is defeated, now everyone save Nel, Adray, and Peppitta are on trial for breaking the UP3. However, it doesn't even turn out to be that at all, and Albel is now on trial on account for raping Sophia.

Overall: 3.6/10 - Really, I wonder about the lemons, because they're written fairly well compared with the rest of the story. And only during the lemon scene and a bit of the courtroom scene do we see that the author uses paragraphs. The writing isn't too bad in the story, but the plot and characterizations ruin it, for the most part. And the way the romance is handled.

Okay, tomorrow, a good fic, I promise this time. :D
starzafandomblog: (Default)
I have one non-LJ friend who apparently likes Albel/Sophia. However, she avoids fanfiction like the black plague. I think I know why.

I should have known what to expect, because everytime an author has a 'couples I hate/characters I hate' on their FF.net profile tend not to write well (Not to mention coming off as immature). And I had a sort of bad dealing with this author. I decided to read her fic anyways, since it seems so popular and has a fair number of reviews.

Lots of review =! good story. Especially when a good half or more are written by the same 3 people who review every chapter.

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: A Light in the Darkness
Author: Keeki
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some sexual content, some violence, Other Characters (OCs)
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Sophia
Plot: 3/10 - To make a long story short, Albel and Sophia somehow land up on a different world due to her *spoilers*, they run into some problems with a demon ironically called 'Romero', they find out Romero cursed Sophia, they go to put a stop to said demon, emo moments, trials, boring action fights, love pookie moments, more emo, OC deaths, Romero gets Sophia, Albel defeats Romero, everyone thinks Sophia is dead, but lo and behold, love revives her. There's tears, kissy poos, and the end.

Simple, to the point, and still manages steal content from OTHER games/stories. Yeah, you heard me.

First, we have Axel, the red haired guy from Kingdom Hearts 2. Sadly, that's all I know of him since I haven't played Kingdom Hearts 2 (But I have friends who have and the author admits her taking this from KH2), so I can't rant that. Then we have the 'Al Bhed'. I seriously wanted to scream when I saw this. Should I be thankful there was no Al Bhed spoken in this fic?

And of course, there's a village called Kalm.

NEVER take stuff from other games, it's crude and you'll get people mixed up/angry unless you mention it in your notes, which this author mentioned near the END of the chapter where it first appeared. You could've named your 'race' something other than stealing one from FFX. You could've called the village something else. AND you could've named Axel something else.

I don't mind the mythology references and the like, but stealing stuff from other games... no.

Oh, and the 'legend' in the village? I felt like slapping Sophia upside her head because the foreshadowing in this entire story runs like it was written by a fourth grader. You could guess what happens fairly easily before it even happens.

And when you write game fanfic, it's best to avoid it running like a video game. Like simply telling that a character shouted out using a skill, talking about 'levels', and the like. Big no-no.

The romance runs like a teen romance novel. Okay, for some bizarre reason, Albel finds Sophia attractive and wants to bonk her 3 chapters in. Whatever happened to emotional build up? And Sophia, for some reason, wants to cure him of his emo angst. Oh, and there's crying, lots of crying. This is including a guy who pretty much GRINS during a fight and a girl who lost her parents at the age of 12, faced a near death situation, and had to come to terms that she was experimented on. Oh, and another girl who didn't cry a single time in the game either.

Overall, the story was predictable, pointless characters, pointless character deaths and the power of tru luv... the entire thing runs like a teeny romance. And Albel is in his 20's. ~_~

Writing: 3/10 - This is where the pure joy of having either having some sort of spelling/grammar processor or better, a beta reader, comes in. Many errors in the story could've easily been found by running this thing through MS word. There is no excuse for not running your fic through a simple spelling/grammar editor. If you don't have MS word, here and here. There is really no excuse for this, and both these sites were off of google, I got over a million sites for spelling and grammar checkers, it takes a total of 5 seconds, tops.

But even with that, there are still many errors that only a beta reader would be able to catch.

The author also has a thing against of putting periods and commas after someone speaks:

Example: Peppita walked up to Fayt, “I hope you find then soon” she said and smiled at him.
Correct sentence: Peppita walked up to Fayt. “I hope you['ll] find the[m] soon,” she said and smiled at him.

And the writing is as boring as that. Tons of Noun-Verb sentences, lots of telling instead of showing, and really akward sentences like, 'Albel quickly scrambled off of her and glared at her evilly, like he was going to slice her up like a thanksgiving turkey.' You don't even need to put the 'like' part in, not to mention the lack of capitalization.

Another example: 'She opened the closet and found some simple stitched sleeping shirts. She took out a medium sized one and put it on, it was a little too big , and one side kept falling off her shoulder.' The 'too big' could be eliminated all together in place of a description of how it's too big.

The entire story runs like this that I found myself skimming parts and had to stop and go back and reread it, only to have the same thing happening again.

The author tries to foreshadow some stuff, like hinting on who the dragon is, but it's seriously so obvious that anyone would pick up on it. And the locket idea, a reviewer apparently guessed what would happen several chapters before it happened. That's usually not a good sign either.

And the weeping. Oh, the weeping!

This is a story that really needs a heavy beta-read through. Or an entire re-write. I'd vote the second.

The reason why it doesn't get a 0 is that at least it looks like it was written with some form of coherency. And the trials were well thought of, although considering how the story runs and how she took stuff from other games, I wonder...

Characterization: 2/10 - URGH!

Spoilers for the fic )

Negativities: Teeny bop romance, OOC!just about everyone, poor writing, missing commas/periods, stealing from other games, OCs with 'oh so tragic' pasts, boo-fucking-hoo weeping

Summary: Albel and Sophia get 'teleported' to another planet, along the way, they have to deal with a demon and realize their 'truluv' for each other, even though they have never really spoken too deeply before this story!

Overall: 2.6/10 - I tried so not to be snarky here, but after I finally finished this story and starting writing this review, I gave up and embraced part of my snarky side. Unless you want to torture yourself, stay away from this fic.
starzafandomblog: (Default)
Here's some Albel introspective~!

Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Hollow
Author: Iggy Lovechild
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Warnings: Implied male slash
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt
Plot: NA - Er, there's no real plot, it's more of a character introspective. So this category sort of doesn't apply here.
Writing: 8/10 - There's a few typos and sentences that should've ended but didn't, but overall, it's well written. The flow of the fic is done fairly well.
Characterization: 8/10 - Albel introspectives aren't rare. GOOD Albel introspectives are, however. The author manages to cover how Albel feels about Fayt, both in general, and then leading up to the romantical ties. The only problem with this is that this concept has been done a few times before, so if you're looking for something new, you may not find it here. But if you're looking for a different outlook from Albel's PoV, it may be worth your wild to take a look at this fic.
Negativities: Unless you're looking for something original, none
Summary: First person PoV Albel interspective piece that focuses on his relationship with Fayt using in game events.
Overall: 8/10 - A short introspective, what can I say? If you like Albel/Fayt and like pieces from Albel's PoV, you should give this fic a shot.
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Title: The Road Not Yet Taken 1/?
Rating: PG-13, may rise later
Pairing: Minor Fayt/Sophia, Albel/Fayt
Genre: Angst/fluff/Humor
Theme: 10. The Road Back To You
Warnings: Main plot spoilers, Spoilers for Albel/Fayt's paired ending, warning for a bit of violence
Summary: While exploring an undeveloped planet, Fayt gets seperated from Albel. However, finding the swordsman won't be easy...
Comments: Part of a series for the [livejournal.com profile] 10_passions. Instead of writing 10 seperate stories based on all 10 themes, I'm writing one story on the same timeline using every 'part' as a theme. I dunno if this will reach a full 10 parts.

This part is unusually long. I don't know how it clocked in at nearly 10k words, it wasn't supposed to, believe me.

Um, sadly, this got so long that there wasn't enough room for notes. If you want to see the notes for this story, visit here.

Do I regret my choice? )
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Title: Destiny (5/5)
Rating: PG
Genre: Flangst (Yay for fluff/angst OTP!)
Warnings: No main story spoilers again
Summary: Sophia checks up on Fayt...
Word Count: 294
Comments: Ficlet written for [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove community, this theme is 'Commitment'. Wow, at the end of the line already. @_@;;

I think I'm overall pleased with how this came out, this was my second challenge that I've ever participated in and writing for the same fandom.

Most of this is dialogue, hence why it seems a bit short.

YES, I'm working on the themes for the other community, it's just one story for it got way out of hand and it set up to writing a multi-chapter work using the themes.

This is where I belong... )
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Title: Polarity
Rating: PG
Pairing: Albel+Sophia (!)
Genre: Fluff with sprinkles of angst
Warnings: Some plot spoilers, you may want to have played to the middle of disk 2, timeline sort of spoilers
Summary: Curiosity gets the better of Sophia. However, she may be getting herself into more than she bargained for...
Comments: I'll be honest, this is a revenge fanfic. It's so lame to write a fanfic out of revenge and I even question my motives as well, but really...

I have three reasons for writing this:

1. This is my revenge against the Albel/Sophia fans really who like bashing other pairings or don't show a tolerance for other people's preferences. This is to prove that while others may write about other pairings, that they actually, surprise, surprise, MAY like yours and don't appreciate or feel alienated because you bash their preferred pairings.

Honestly, I'm sort of surprised that my anger didn't leek into the fic and taint it, or the fact I wrote FLUFF when I was angry and upset.

2. This is also revenge against people who are omg, tehICK! against slash as well. Folks, just because what some people write is majority slash fics doesn't mean we don't like or don't enjoy het pairings. I'm really tired of being either one or other, when I like to sit on the line.

3. This is also an experiment of writing from someone else's PoV besides Fayt. Usually, when I stick to a fandom, I write just from one person's PoV, wheither it's first, second or third person (I've written from Tsuzuki's PoV for YnM in the past, but it wasn't as well received and I stopped after a bit). This is from Sophia's PoV. I'll have to admit, I don't favor Sophia at all, but I enjoyed writing this more than I shoud've.

Will there be a sequel to this? Probably not unless there is enough outcry for one, and it would have to rival Duel and go beyond. Honestly, at least now I can say I've written from a PoV beyond Fayt now.

If you're looking for a full blown romance, sorry, this isn't the story. There's hintings, but if you turn away, you'll miss them.

The title comes from how I feel about Albel and Sophia's personalities.

This takes place back on Elicoor II on disk 2. There's no huge main plot spoilers (Go me!), but you may have wanted to at least get up to this part.

Also, Albel is your seventh character and Nel is your eighth.

Curiosity killed the cat... )
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Title: Destiny (4/5)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Flangst (Fluff/Angst, mostly angst though)
Warnings: No main story spoilers, shocking! HUGE spoilers on Albel's past
Summary: Fayt gets his question answered...
Word Count: 335
Comments: Ficlet written for [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove community, this theme is 'Intimacy'. Corny summary, but it sums up this fic well.

Please be warned, this story contains massive spoilers on Albel's past. Most of this info can be found in the dictionary (I think you may need to get him as your 7th character, but I dunno for sure) and a few PA scenes as well.

Um, there is no set timeline between this part and the previous, it could be the next day or it could be some time down the line.

I think this is my favorite one because I love Albel and the idea in this fic isn't written on much.

The full story... )
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Title: Destiny (3/5)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/bit of angst
Warnings: No main story spoilers, shocking! Minor spoilers on Albel's past
Summary: Fayt and Albel get into another arguement, only this time...
Word Count: 362
Comments: Ficlet written for [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove, the theme for this one is 'Passion'. I think I sort of jumped a bit with their relationship, but I think it's okay, given the next two parts and the way they are.

I take back what I said before too, THIS was the hardest to write.

Oh, um, there are different theories about Albel's arm, since it's not 100% clear in the game. I'm using the one that benefits me the most. :X

This takes place after Albel/Fayt's ending, pretty much, so from here on, it's completely post game.

I never imagined things to turn out this way... )
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Title: Destiny (2/5)
Rating: PG
Genre: Flangst (Fluff/Angst) (In this part)
Warnings: No main story spoilers, shocking!, Albel/Fayt ending spoilers
Summary: Fayt is re-evaluating his decision to stay on Elicoor II...
Word Count: 434
Comments: Ficlet written for [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove, the theme for this one is 'Romance'. Honestly, I think this theme was the hardest to come up with something for, considering your typical 'romance' isn't going to happen between these two.

Really, this isn't exactly 'Romantical' in nature at first glance, but if you look close enough, you can see something.

This can take place before or after Fayt and Albel's ending together.

Maybe I shouldn't have stayed... )
starzafandomblog: (Sailor Saturn!)
Title: Destiny (1/5)
Rating: PG
Genre: General/Hinted Romance (In this part)
Warnings: Minor spoilers
Summary: After the defeat of Luther, Fayt reflects and come to a decision...
Word Count: 460
Comments: Ficlet written for [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove, the theme for this one is 'Attraction'. Note, this take place between the very end of the game, but before one of Fayt's paired ending (Whoever you get, but the choice is obvious with who I paired him up with. :D).

What is the right path? )

Profile

starzafandomblog: (Default)
Starza's Fandom Blog

July 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
2 345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 24th, 2017 06:42 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios