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More madness! FF7/crossover Fic again
Sep. 27th, 2012 11:47 pmTaking a break from my power leveling in WoW. You know how some stories start out good or just all right and then just descend into badness? Well, this fic doesn't descend into badness. Mediorcity is more the word I'm thinking of, I think, here.
Also, I normally HATE AUs with the FF characters in high school, but I still read this fic regardless. It's not really a FF7 fanfic, but since the two main characters are from FF7, I consider it FF7 fic for the most part.
Series: Final Fantasy 7 crossover (Final Fantasy 8, 10, 12)
Title: Behind Blue Eyes
Author: zacks.little.puppy
Genre: Fluff/sap/sometimes melodrama/slice of life?
Rating: MA
Warnings: Lemon, story dragging it's feet (?), OOC Cloud, author has not played FF7 (!?!?!?!?!?!)
Couple (if applicable): Zack/Cloud and various other pairings
Plot: 6/10 - I'm not going to lie, the summary attracted me to the story and perked my curosity. Thought it didn't help that there were spelling AND grammar errors in the summary. However, I decided to give it a chance.
Basically, it's a AU High School fic. Cloud is apparently in a high 'level' class and gets assigned to tutor a student in the same grade that's having problems and is in the 'deliquent' class. I have no idea why the author worded it this way, because the students in the 'lower' level classes aren't really deliquents. It reminded me how my high school was divided, the 'smarter' students were in 'higher levels' while the students who were average or below average were in the 'lower levels'.
So the premise is basically these two, Cloud and Zack obviously, hooking up. And it happens about 15-20 chapters in. But you'll notice that the total count for chapters is 39. Why is that? Because of the warning I gave. This story drags it's feet REALLY badly after they hook up. I mean, we have a perfect premise to do conflict with, Zack's past, his parents, and how it would affect his current relationship, and it's TOTALLY IGNORED. Not to mention, his mom is in a mental hosiptal and his dad is in jail, and yet, at one time, they were a picture perfect family. WHY IS THIS IGNORED!? This would've made a great conflict to deal with when the two finally get together, and how Zack doesn't want his relationship to turn out like his parents. And it seems Zack cares for his mom, so why doesn't he go see her??
I don't understand why the author didn't end the story around chapter 20 or why she had almost no conflict (Though you could argue 'slice of life!' genre for this) after they hooked up, even though there were plenty of chances. And when conflict did come up (Penelo, Zell's crush on Cloud, talk about kids/marriange, Cloud's feelings on his father getting remarried), it's briefly brushed on and nothing comes of it.
And some of the conflict is silly, like the parents bringing up kids. d00d, they're 16 and 17 years old, let them date a few years before you even consider marriage/kids. Also, Zell's crush comes out of nowhere, and what happened to the Squall plot in previous chapters. That ended... very oddly.
There's also a subplot with his dad and Zack's... you know, it's NEVER said what his relationship is with Rick. And it's never said WHY he's living with his aunt too. Normally, guys don't live with a woman unless they're related or dating. Even a hint, like his aunt is a good friend or childhood friend of Rick's would've been better than nothing. This subplot is rushed too and comes to no conclusion since the story just... ends. It can't really come to a conclusion when the main plot had concluded like 20 chapters ago though.
Writing: 7/10 - The writing is okay. A few errors here and there, but nothing really wrong about it.
Characterization: 5/10 - It wasn't until like the last 2-3 chapters that I found, to my horror, the author never played the original FF7 game. BUT this author did play Crisis Core. Uh, you DO know you can buy FF7 on your PSP and play it on the memory card, right?
Besides that, there's no excuse NOT to play this game anymore. It's available on the PC again, there's a PSN version of it that you can buy for your PS3 or PSP. There's probably 'Let's Plays' out there if you're desperate enough. And don't give me the time issue, if you have the time to write a fanfic about something you like, you better damn well have time to research the origins of your fandom.
Moving away from my bitch rant, Cloud is seriously OOC here and I blame it on the story being WAY too sappy for it's own good after Cloud and Zack get together. Even then, the conflict was kinda melodramatic to begin with.
Cloud is also very very girly in this and there were some parts I really thought he was a girl (And even he admits acting too 'girly' in the story too!). YES, Cloud does dress up like a female in the original game, and yes, it's the 'lawlzorbeam' part of the game. But beyond that one thing, there's no indication that Cloud is a weepy wuss. He's emo, that's for sure, but not someone who would be clingy and want to wear jewelary beyond maybe a pierced earring.
Zack is mostly IC in this, though I think both could've toned down the 'I love yous' a LOT. I mean, sometimes in one chapter, they'd say it to each other about ten different times and Cloud would STILL blush at it. Or at just about anything Zack calls him.
The other characters are either IC or really OOC and some of the other FF characters serve little to no purpose. Penelo is one, why even include her at all. What happened to Seifer too? He just kinda... vanished. Tidus isn't even a scene, just mentioned briefly. Tifa gets dumped for the most part. Barret and Cid aren't even in the story at all and neither is Reeve.
I think the big problem for the OCC is that this story is just way too sappy and because of a lack of conflict, it doesn't go anywhere. So there's nothing for the characters to really 'hold on' to, and they come and go as they please. I mean, I could eat an entire bag of sugar and this story would still be sweeter than that beyond chapter 20.
Negativities: OOCness, WAY too sappy, little to no conflict in the second half of the story
Summary: It's hard to be one of the smartest kids in the school. For Cloud, his world gets turned upside down when he's assigned to tutor a student in the 'juvenile' classes...
Overall: 6/10 - Again, a perfect example of a story that should've ended 20 chapters before it did. I wouldn't really recommend reading this fic past chapter 20. If you desperate for an AU fic that's light on conflict, this story would fit the bill.
Also, I normally HATE AUs with the FF characters in high school, but I still read this fic regardless. It's not really a FF7 fanfic, but since the two main characters are from FF7, I consider it FF7 fic for the most part.
Series: Final Fantasy 7 crossover (Final Fantasy 8, 10, 12)
Title: Behind Blue Eyes
Author: zacks.little.puppy
Genre: Fluff/sap/sometimes melodrama/slice of life?
Rating: MA
Warnings: Lemon, story dragging it's feet (?), OOC Cloud, author has not played FF7 (!?!?!?!?!?!)
Couple (if applicable): Zack/Cloud and various other pairings
Plot: 6/10 - I'm not going to lie, the summary attracted me to the story and perked my curosity. Thought it didn't help that there were spelling AND grammar errors in the summary. However, I decided to give it a chance.
Basically, it's a AU High School fic. Cloud is apparently in a high 'level' class and gets assigned to tutor a student in the same grade that's having problems and is in the 'deliquent' class. I have no idea why the author worded it this way, because the students in the 'lower' level classes aren't really deliquents. It reminded me how my high school was divided, the 'smarter' students were in 'higher levels' while the students who were average or below average were in the 'lower levels'.
So the premise is basically these two, Cloud and Zack obviously, hooking up. And it happens about 15-20 chapters in. But you'll notice that the total count for chapters is 39. Why is that? Because of the warning I gave. This story drags it's feet REALLY badly after they hook up. I mean, we have a perfect premise to do conflict with, Zack's past, his parents, and how it would affect his current relationship, and it's TOTALLY IGNORED. Not to mention, his mom is in a mental hosiptal and his dad is in jail, and yet, at one time, they were a picture perfect family. WHY IS THIS IGNORED!? This would've made a great conflict to deal with when the two finally get together, and how Zack doesn't want his relationship to turn out like his parents. And it seems Zack cares for his mom, so why doesn't he go see her??
I don't understand why the author didn't end the story around chapter 20 or why she had almost no conflict (Though you could argue 'slice of life!' genre for this) after they hooked up, even though there were plenty of chances. And when conflict did come up (Penelo, Zell's crush on Cloud, talk about kids/marriange, Cloud's feelings on his father getting remarried), it's briefly brushed on and nothing comes of it.
And some of the conflict is silly, like the parents bringing up kids. d00d, they're 16 and 17 years old, let them date a few years before you even consider marriage/kids. Also, Zell's crush comes out of nowhere, and what happened to the Squall plot in previous chapters. That ended... very oddly.
There's also a subplot with his dad and Zack's... you know, it's NEVER said what his relationship is with Rick. And it's never said WHY he's living with his aunt too. Normally, guys don't live with a woman unless they're related or dating. Even a hint, like his aunt is a good friend or childhood friend of Rick's would've been better than nothing. This subplot is rushed too and comes to no conclusion since the story just... ends. It can't really come to a conclusion when the main plot had concluded like 20 chapters ago though.
Writing: 7/10 - The writing is okay. A few errors here and there, but nothing really wrong about it.
Characterization: 5/10 - It wasn't until like the last 2-3 chapters that I found, to my horror, the author never played the original FF7 game. BUT this author did play Crisis Core. Uh, you DO know you can buy FF7 on your PSP and play it on the memory card, right?
Besides that, there's no excuse NOT to play this game anymore. It's available on the PC again, there's a PSN version of it that you can buy for your PS3 or PSP. There's probably 'Let's Plays' out there if you're desperate enough. And don't give me the time issue, if you have the time to write a fanfic about something you like, you better damn well have time to research the origins of your fandom.
Moving away from my bitch rant, Cloud is seriously OOC here and I blame it on the story being WAY too sappy for it's own good after Cloud and Zack get together. Even then, the conflict was kinda melodramatic to begin with.
Cloud is also very very girly in this and there were some parts I really thought he was a girl (And even he admits acting too 'girly' in the story too!). YES, Cloud does dress up like a female in the original game, and yes, it's the 'lawlzorbeam' part of the game. But beyond that one thing, there's no indication that Cloud is a weepy wuss. He's emo, that's for sure, but not someone who would be clingy and want to wear jewelary beyond maybe a pierced earring.
Zack is mostly IC in this, though I think both could've toned down the 'I love yous' a LOT. I mean, sometimes in one chapter, they'd say it to each other about ten different times and Cloud would STILL blush at it. Or at just about anything Zack calls him.
The other characters are either IC or really OOC and some of the other FF characters serve little to no purpose. Penelo is one, why even include her at all. What happened to Seifer too? He just kinda... vanished. Tidus isn't even a scene, just mentioned briefly. Tifa gets dumped for the most part. Barret and Cid aren't even in the story at all and neither is Reeve.
I think the big problem for the OCC is that this story is just way too sappy and because of a lack of conflict, it doesn't go anywhere. So there's nothing for the characters to really 'hold on' to, and they come and go as they please. I mean, I could eat an entire bag of sugar and this story would still be sweeter than that beyond chapter 20.
Negativities: OOCness, WAY too sappy, little to no conflict in the second half of the story
Summary: It's hard to be one of the smartest kids in the school. For Cloud, his world gets turned upside down when he's assigned to tutor a student in the 'juvenile' classes...
Overall: 6/10 - Again, a perfect example of a story that should've ended 20 chapters before it did. I wouldn't really recommend reading this fic past chapter 20. If you desperate for an AU fic that's light on conflict, this story would fit the bill.
