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More drive by mini reviews
May. 18th, 2018 10:01 pmPretty much all of them are Persona 5 this time around, so let's go!
Title: L'appel du Vide
Pairing: Akira+Akechi for now, future Akira/Akechi
Warnings: Humor with some angst that makes sense? Not really a warning...
Thoughts: Basically, Akira returns to the past 3 years post game and small changes end up having a Butterfly effect on everything. Mostly, Akechi ends up in the story much sooner. This story has a nice mix of humor and angst in it along with a lot of sassy!Akira. The tone of the fic is loads of sass one minute, and the next, a snowball of angst gets thrown at the reader, but in a really well done manner.
Should you read this? Yes, but be warned, it's another work in progress.
Title: The Next Time Around
Pairing: Akira/Akechi, Makoto/Ann side pairing
Warnings: Doesn't really feel like a Persona 5 story?
Thoughts: Basically, Akira meets Akechi up again at Makoto and Ann's wedding in Venice after breaking up in college. We're treated to them interacting in the present time while having flashbacks of the past and how they broke up in the past and seeing them get together in the present, which is actually written very well. But I'm going to be honest, this is just way too AU for me. I think the writing is really good and the concept of the story works, but this doesn't feel like the characters at some point, and that I'm reading a romance story with the character's names and appearances.
Should you read this? Yes if you don't mind AUs. No if you're looking for something more align with canon. This fic is almost done as well, though sometimes updates are slow, I feel this will be done.
Title: Second Chances
Pairing: Future Akechi/Akira, Ann/Shiho, one sided Akechi/Yusuke
Warnings: Role Reversal AU
Thoughts: This is a very well done AU and it feels very canonly. Basically, Akechi sort of takes Akira's place, but he still retains who he is and his past, and while it does change canon in a lot of ways (Akechi actually lives with Sojiro, Wakaba is alive, Akechi knows about Shido, but because of his mentor, he's in control of his anger to a degree). And canon still does happen, but it's a bit different. I really don't want to say more for spoilers, but I highly recommend this underappreciated piece.
Should you read this? Definitely yes, it's creative and well written. It's another WIP, but I say read it, despite it. The author updates regularly too.
Title: SUCESSION (Yes, it's all in caps)
Pairing: Akechi+Akira, though the author labeled this as a pairing, this really is more friendship than ship fic
Warnings: Lots of angst. It's rated G, but I would rate this M, especially for one chapter. There's no way this is G. This isn't slow burn either shipping wise, but more so friendship wise
Thoughts: This fic is really abnormally long. I think it's a bit wordy at some points where it would've been better off just getting straight to the point. But overall, it's a really good and creative fic. The author wrote this pre-release of the game in english, so they use 'Navi' instead of Oracle, so be warned. Basically, Akechi is alive but finds out through a mysterious entity named 'S' that everyone is trapped in a huge Palace and only Akechi can save the Thieves via something called the 'Another Time Navi'. I can't say anymore without spoiling it, but if you're an Akechi fan, this fic is really up there. Though the author mislabeled things (This is NOT a Slow burn fic, this barely qualifies as an Akira/Akechi shipping fic, and this certainly isn't rated G at all), this is still a really well written character study.
Should you read this? Definitely yes.
Title: The World is Ours
Pairing: Akira/Mary SueOC, Ryuji/Ann
Warnings: Mary Sue to the max here, holy hell this is over HALF A MILLION words long
Thoughts: I'll be honest, I only really read a few chapters before I gave up before I wanted to run face first into a wall. I was also curious how in the hell did this story reach over half a million words in length and have so many comments/kudos before I realized the comments were basically the same 10 odd people posting for EVERY chapter with a random person giving critique and the author responding to EVERY comment (And a ton of guest kudos too, hmmm....). Also, the big reason this story is the length it is? Is because the entire script of the game is copy pasta-sauced WORD FOR WORD. Again, if you're gonna do that, why would any reader read your story instead of playing the game?
This is just a Mary Sue added into canon that changes NOTHING of canon. And what's worse is the author was going to make her Mary Sue the 'World' Arcana, which would even FURTHER her Mary Sue (Who btw, has pink hair, because of course she does. ~_~ 'But Yusuke has blue hair, so I can make my character have pink hair! Oh, and of course, she has red eyes, cause 10 to 1 she's going to be Akechi's long lost sister!'). Not to mention, she awakens before the Main character, and everyone loves, she's class president (Even though that belongs to Makoto), she's pretty and popular, and it goes on and on. And all I could do is roll my eyes and shake my head. Oh, and fanpoodle Japanese, STOP THIS OMG! TRANSLATE SHIT IF IT HAS AN ENGLISH EQUIVILANT!
I first thought she was going to replace Akira as a sort of female protag, but nope. All this is is a Mary Sue paired up with the main character of the game who doesn't change canon and almost every line of what I read is from the game, so why in the hell would I NOT play the game???? She has an angsty past (That sort of mirrors Akechi's it looks like, growing up in an orphanage, because of course she does, we can't have any of those main character upser our perfect queen!) and she's pretty and everyone admires her and Akira oggles her early on and it just goes on and on. Look, I understand people want to put in OCs in their stories, but this is where I say you REALLY need to learn and use the Slow Burn romance. Hell, there's already a sequel she's writing BEFORE finishing the main story that is just smut of the MC and her Mary Sue.
Look, from a writer perspective, a Mary Sue may be fun to play around with. Hell, I'll admit, I wrote a FF4 novel where I paired Kain up with my own OC (Though I'll admit, I rewrote the story years later, more so because I prefer slow burn writing, but originally, the OC I made? Mary Sue that rivals this story's.). But from a reader perspective, a Mary Sue is often not fun to read about, because they don't contribute to the growth of characters, they don't change things to have a butterfly effect (An added in character WILL change things, even if it's dialogue), they often change characters to revolve around the Mary Sue in negative ways, and, to be frank, they are beyond boring and annoying to read.
To all the writers out there who want to do a MC/OC pairing, I say this: SLOW BURN IS YOUR FRIEND. No, seriously, it is. If this author gave her OC some flaws and instead of having Akira fawn all over her early on, actually developed their relationship over the course of the story, it probably would've been much better. Also? Save the smut sequels for when you FINISH your story.
I mean, do I even need to say anymore? I mean, I almost want to give this a full review, but there is no way I can stomach 200+ chapters that this story will get.
Should you read this? HELL TO THE FUCKING NO. Even if you like Mary Sues, I implore you to just go out and buy a PS3/PS4 and the game. Or watch a Let's Play, you'll have a more fun time than reading through this slog.
The last fic here turned into a rant and sort of ruined my mood to go looking for more fic. I still cannot fathom how anyone can spend that much time and energy writing a fucking Mary Sue. I mean, just write original work, you'll get PAID for it. Or maybe don't, we'll could end up with 50 shades part 2. >.>
Title: L'appel du Vide
Pairing: Akira+Akechi for now, future Akira/Akechi
Warnings: Humor with some angst that makes sense? Not really a warning...
Thoughts: Basically, Akira returns to the past 3 years post game and small changes end up having a Butterfly effect on everything. Mostly, Akechi ends up in the story much sooner. This story has a nice mix of humor and angst in it along with a lot of sassy!Akira. The tone of the fic is loads of sass one minute, and the next, a snowball of angst gets thrown at the reader, but in a really well done manner.
Should you read this? Yes, but be warned, it's another work in progress.
Title: The Next Time Around
Pairing: Akira/Akechi, Makoto/Ann side pairing
Warnings: Doesn't really feel like a Persona 5 story?
Thoughts: Basically, Akira meets Akechi up again at Makoto and Ann's wedding in Venice after breaking up in college. We're treated to them interacting in the present time while having flashbacks of the past and how they broke up in the past and seeing them get together in the present, which is actually written very well. But I'm going to be honest, this is just way too AU for me. I think the writing is really good and the concept of the story works, but this doesn't feel like the characters at some point, and that I'm reading a romance story with the character's names and appearances.
Should you read this? Yes if you don't mind AUs. No if you're looking for something more align with canon. This fic is almost done as well, though sometimes updates are slow, I feel this will be done.
Title: Second Chances
Pairing: Future Akechi/Akira, Ann/Shiho, one sided Akechi/Yusuke
Warnings: Role Reversal AU
Thoughts: This is a very well done AU and it feels very canonly. Basically, Akechi sort of takes Akira's place, but he still retains who he is and his past, and while it does change canon in a lot of ways (Akechi actually lives with Sojiro, Wakaba is alive, Akechi knows about Shido, but because of his mentor, he's in control of his anger to a degree). And canon still does happen, but it's a bit different. I really don't want to say more for spoilers, but I highly recommend this underappreciated piece.
Should you read this? Definitely yes, it's creative and well written. It's another WIP, but I say read it, despite it. The author updates regularly too.
Title: SUCESSION (Yes, it's all in caps)
Pairing: Akechi+Akira, though the author labeled this as a pairing, this really is more friendship than ship fic
Warnings: Lots of angst. It's rated G, but I would rate this M, especially for one chapter. There's no way this is G. This isn't slow burn either shipping wise, but more so friendship wise
Thoughts: This fic is really abnormally long. I think it's a bit wordy at some points where it would've been better off just getting straight to the point. But overall, it's a really good and creative fic. The author wrote this pre-release of the game in english, so they use 'Navi' instead of Oracle, so be warned. Basically, Akechi is alive but finds out through a mysterious entity named 'S' that everyone is trapped in a huge Palace and only Akechi can save the Thieves via something called the 'Another Time Navi'. I can't say anymore without spoiling it, but if you're an Akechi fan, this fic is really up there. Though the author mislabeled things (This is NOT a Slow burn fic, this barely qualifies as an Akira/Akechi shipping fic, and this certainly isn't rated G at all), this is still a really well written character study.
Should you read this? Definitely yes.
Title: The World is Ours
Pairing: Akira/
Warnings: Mary Sue to the max here, holy hell this is over HALF A MILLION words long
Thoughts: I'll be honest, I only really read a few chapters before I gave up before I wanted to run face first into a wall. I was also curious how in the hell did this story reach over half a million words in length and have so many comments/kudos before I realized the comments were basically the same 10 odd people posting for EVERY chapter with a random person giving critique and the author responding to EVERY comment (And a ton of guest kudos too, hmmm....). Also, the big reason this story is the length it is? Is because the entire script of the game is copy pasta-sauced WORD FOR WORD. Again, if you're gonna do that, why would any reader read your story instead of playing the game?
This is just a Mary Sue added into canon that changes NOTHING of canon. And what's worse is the author was going to make her Mary Sue the 'World' Arcana, which would even FURTHER her Mary Sue (Who btw, has pink hair, because of course she does. ~_~ 'But Yusuke has blue hair, so I can make my character have pink hair! Oh, and of course, she has red eyes, cause 10 to 1 she's going to be Akechi's long lost sister!'). Not to mention, she awakens before the Main character, and everyone loves, she's class president (Even though that belongs to Makoto), she's pretty and popular, and it goes on and on. And all I could do is roll my eyes and shake my head. Oh, and fanpoodle Japanese, STOP THIS OMG! TRANSLATE SHIT IF IT HAS AN ENGLISH EQUIVILANT!
I first thought she was going to replace Akira as a sort of female protag, but nope. All this is is a Mary Sue paired up with the main character of the game who doesn't change canon and almost every line of what I read is from the game, so why in the hell would I NOT play the game???? She has an angsty past (That sort of mirrors Akechi's it looks like, growing up in an orphanage, because of course she does, we can't have any of those main character upser our perfect queen!) and she's pretty and everyone admires her and Akira oggles her early on and it just goes on and on. Look, I understand people want to put in OCs in their stories, but this is where I say you REALLY need to learn and use the Slow Burn romance. Hell, there's already a sequel she's writing BEFORE finishing the main story that is just smut of the MC and her Mary Sue.
Look, from a writer perspective, a Mary Sue may be fun to play around with. Hell, I'll admit, I wrote a FF4 novel where I paired Kain up with my own OC (Though I'll admit, I rewrote the story years later, more so because I prefer slow burn writing, but originally, the OC I made? Mary Sue that rivals this story's.). But from a reader perspective, a Mary Sue is often not fun to read about, because they don't contribute to the growth of characters, they don't change things to have a butterfly effect (An added in character WILL change things, even if it's dialogue), they often change characters to revolve around the Mary Sue in negative ways, and, to be frank, they are beyond boring and annoying to read.
To all the writers out there who want to do a MC/OC pairing, I say this: SLOW BURN IS YOUR FRIEND. No, seriously, it is. If this author gave her OC some flaws and instead of having Akira fawn all over her early on, actually developed their relationship over the course of the story, it probably would've been much better. Also? Save the smut sequels for when you FINISH your story.
I mean, do I even need to say anymore? I mean, I almost want to give this a full review, but there is no way I can stomach 200+ chapters that this story will get.
Should you read this? HELL TO THE FUCKING NO. Even if you like Mary Sues, I implore you to just go out and buy a PS3/PS4 and the game. Or watch a Let's Play, you'll have a more fun time than reading through this slog.
The last fic here turned into a rant and sort of ruined my mood to go looking for more fic. I still cannot fathom how anyone can spend that much time and energy writing a fucking Mary Sue. I mean, just write original work, you'll get PAID for it. Or maybe don't, we'll could end up with 50 shades part 2. >.>
