Forbidden Love
Aug. 4th, 2003 10:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogTitle: Forbidden Love
Rating: R for violence, lime content, character death
Pairing: Tsuzuki/Hisoka
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: Antheia finds a diary in the library while looking for a book of wizardy. The diary belonged to a person who left Temuair long ago. What she didn't expect was the diary belonged to a friend... What was the REAL reason that he left the lands?
Comments: Okay, for people who haven't read this, this story is a Dark Ages/Yami no Matsuei crossover. Yes, fear the crossover. :X Dark Ages is basically a fantasy like land. You can enjoy this story without knowing what Dark Ages is, just think of it as a fantasy environment. Although the more apporiate class for Tsuzuki would've been a wizard. >.>
Disclaimers: Antheia, Starza, and Temuair and it's related themes all belong to Nexon Inc. >.> I don't own any of them or anything. ^_^;;
I also don't own Tsuzuki or Hisoka. They belong to their respectful creator. ^_^;;
Anyways, on with the fic. For reference, anything in italics is thoughts AND part of the diary (I don't know how to change text on this thing).
"When it comes to love, nothing matters, not the time, place, or even the sex. Love is love, and should always be cherished… Accept love for what it is."
I sighed to myself as I carefully reached far back on this shelf. The Liberian told me I would find the elemental book, that I sought, back here. But I have yet to discover it.
Today hasn't been my day. It started out when one of my fellow wizard colleague's 'accidentally' burned a copy of 'Theories and Speculations of Air, Earth, Fire, and Water'. I waited MONTHS for this book to be delivered to my Mileth home too! And it cost me one million coins on top of it! Books aren't cheap today!
The situation: We were on our daily collection of the elements, today happened to be srad, the fire element. We were near a fireplace at the local Milethian inn. And she accidentally tipped the bottle she was currently collecting the fire element in, spilling it near my pouch, and that's where, of course, I had my book.
Thank goodness, we didn't burn down the inn (Riona would have had our hides for sure if we did. She did tell us that next time, though, we would have to do our 'experiments' somewhere else). After my friend apologized about a million times to me, I told her she would have to get me another copy of the book at least to replace the one I lost, which, thank the Gods, she agreed to. But I do feel a bit guilty, as she's not a rich person. But oh well, maybe next time her head won't be in the clouds!
Which led me to what I was currently doing. Searching in the Loures library for the copy of the book. I heard from my guild mates that there was a copy of 'Theories and Speculations of Earth, Air, Fire and Water' in the Loures library. Good, because I REALLY needed to look up something today.
I finally managed to find it. I was so glad that I didn't notice the book near it, which hit me in the head when I pulled 'my prize' from the shelf. Sigh, this REALLY isn't my day…
I bent down and prepared to put the book back in its place, when I noticed something. There was no title on the front of the cover. I flipped it over and there was nothing in there. I walked over to the small table in the library and placed the book I was looking for down for a second and flipped the small book I had in my hands open.
I realized why there was no title on the cover. This was a journal. But what was a journal doing in the wizard section of the library? I looked around, making sure no one noticed, and slipped the book into my pouch. I took the book I needed, and grabbing a piece of paper and a bottle of ink, I proceeded with my research.
However, I kept thinking back to the book that I found. My mind kept wandering off on it's own accord, wondering how it got there, what secrets laid hidden in it…
I slammed the book closed, which caused a few eyes to rise in my direction. It was no big deal though, I always attracted attention, whether it was my silly looking master hat, my golden hy-brasil boots shining upon my feet (Hy-brasal boots were really worn by warriors, but I liked wearing them, they were comfortable enough for me) or my pet fae, who sat on my shoulder right now, looking at me with a puzzled expression. I shook my head, returned the book to the shelf, grabbed what I had managed to write down (which wasn't much), and walked out of the library.
-
I decided to just retire for the day. That book was somehow drawing me to it. And I really couldn't concentrate right at the moment. And a wizard who can't concentrate is a danger to those around them.
I placed the book down on the table and opened it. Yes, start at the very beginning…
5th day of the 11th month of the 15th Deoch
I decided, at the suggestion of my whiny friend, to start a journal. Normally, I'm not a journal person, but he was really insistent, and I had to get him to shut up somehow. He told me it was a good way to 'let loose my emotions'. I think he's just being an idiot. But if he's telling the truth, I'm going to be writing here a lot.
Well, today consisted of me walking around with that idiot all day around the Eastern Woodlands. He almost saw Sgrios today, for perhaps the 15th time this Deoch. Unbelievable. I have to tell him to not be so careless all the time.
Why me?
I raised my eyebrow in surprise. This wasn't written too long ago. I came into this land in Deoch 13 myself. I couldn't recognize the handwriting at all. Sighing to myself, I turned the page…
10th day of the 11th month of the 15th Deoch
Me again. I had a really rotten day today.
Asato did it again! He ALWAYS manages to get into some sort of trouble! Well, today, he was trying to guide another peasant to the path of a warrior. Only he got himself lost in the Temple of Choosing, along with the person he had to guide. It took me hours to find them. How they ended up at the Gramail temple is BEYOND me.
Do I really WANT to know how they got there? I have a feeling Asato somehow bent space and ended up in the Gramail Temple. I told him time and time again to be careful when he prayed to Gramail, the God he worships. That it would eventually lead to trouble.
Sigh…
Sometimes, I don't know why I put up with that scattered brain idiot…
I chuckled to myself after reading that. So whoever wrote this had a friend named Asato? I don't recognize the name at all though. I continued on.
18th day of the 11th month of the 15th Deoch
ARGH! Asato is such a pain! He ended up getting scammed today! And of course, he came to ME, whining and moaning and groaning about it! And then he had the NERVE to ask me if he could borrow some gold! I almost threw this book at him, but he gave me 'that look'. Gods, I HATE it when he gives me that look, because I can't resist it…
This really isn't my month…
2nd day of the 12th month of the 15th Deoch
I haven't written in this book in a while. I'm sorry…
Wait, I'm apologizing to a BOOK! I think I'm losing my mind…
Today, we met a nice wizard. His name was Chan. What a weird name. But he did manage to keep up with Asato and me really well. He knew all about the elements and all the intermediate elemental spells. He even knew mor fas nadur! I was impressed.
We walked deep into the Eastern Woodlands today. We did fairly well, and came out with quite a bit of money too. We split it evenly. When Chan left, I had to remind Asato he owed me money, and I ended up taking Asato's part of the pool.
Yeah, I know, it's mean, but he DID owe me money. Maybe next time, he'll be more careful when he makes an exchange with someone.
15th day of the 12th month of the 15th Deoch
I met a nice rogue today. Her name is Antheia. I asked her to polish some gems for me and she did. I offered her money and labor, but she laughed really loudly and ran off after she polished my last gem and said not to worry.
What a weird girl…
WAIT a minute!!! My name is mentioned in the book!? What the hell? I sat back and tried to remember that moment in time…
And then it hit me! This was Hisoka's journal! He was a long time friend of mine! But… He left suddenly one day, a few days after I mastered. He wrote me a note, asking him to meet me at the Abel docks. I still had it in one of my drawers.
I lifted my head with renewed hope. This was no coincidence that I happened to 'stumble' on his journal. And maybe the reason why he disappeared would become clear too. With renewed hope, I continued on in the journal, now seeking answers to the sudden disappearance of my friend…
3rd day of the 1st month of the 16th Deoch
It's been a while since I wrote again, but I've been really busy with things. Asato wanted to hunt non-stop before the end of the Deoch and only now, am I just taking a break.
We finally managed to pass into the third circle of our aislinghood. It was a wonderful feeling I had as I donned my new Mantle. Asato claimed up the Lorica for his own. I was really proud of him. Sure, he can be an idiot at times, but when he's on the battle field…
I think I'll stop here for the day.
7th day of the 1st month of the 16th Deoch
Asato is SUCH an idiot! I can't believe what he did today! I'm STILL fuming!
Today, we were getting ready to hunt over in the Eastern woodlands. Somehow the conversation led over about ourselves and Asato told an embarrassing story of how I got lost in Mileth and how I needed a guard to point me in the right direction.
I can STILL hear the jeering and laughing from the two people we were with. I could feel the embarrassment on my cheeks and I cursed my blush reflex. I told them all to 'screw off' and here I am now. And stupid Asato is banging at my door right now… I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!!!! Argh…
Here, the entry stopped. Puzzled, I flipped over to the next page and continued reading. I was kinda surprised, as there were blotches on the page, like water dripped on the page. Was Hisoka crying when he wrote this entry?
I hate him… No, I really don't… I hate how he makes me feel… I'm so freaking confused right now…
Asato came over to my house to apologize. He really didn't mean to do what he did and I could tell, just by looking into his eyes. He was really upset too. I think he was crying beforehand too. I told him that I forgive him. He fell into my lap and started crying, saying he hurt me and he didn't mean it. I stroked his hair back and told him I wasn't mad. I really wasn't at that moment. I don't know how long we were in that position…
And for that moment… My heart started to beat faster as he looked me in my eyes… He smiled at me… He left shortly after that, and I promised him I would make up our lack of hunting tomorrow…
God, I don't think I ever felt this scared before… Asato is my best friend, nothing more… That's what I keep telling myself…
And yet…
I blinked and shook my head. I never met Asato, ever before. And yet, as I'm reading this journal, they seemed really closed. I wondered if they loved each other?
I sighed and continued to read…
20th day of the 1st month of the 16th Deoch
Again, it's been a while since I wrote in my journal. But I've been busy. It seems like I'm always busy.
The past few days have gone well for me though. Asato though, thinks I'm being distant. I'm really not. I'm just afraid of being close to him…
It's strange, when did I start feeling like this? I even have a hard time calling him an idiot nowadays. I get these sudden urges to run up to him and hug him close and tell him how I'm feeling inside or to just spend a day with him, not hunting or doing my priestly duties, but just relaxing and for once, having fun, not having to deal with anyone else…
But he's so determined to become somebody in Temuair… I don't want to interfere with his dream… I'm not part of it anyways…
5th day of the 2nd month of the 16th Deoch
We went on our first Chronic Remains hunt today. The Chronic Remains is a deep, dark cave over near the House of Macabre. It was our first time in here.
It was really scary and I was really afraid. Not for myself, but mainly for Asato. He got pummeled several times by Mummies and beetles.
We somehow managed to get out of that alive. Asato wants to go down there again, even after the beating he took! Stupid idiot he is…
24th day of the 2nd month of the 16th Deoch
We made it out of the third circle after hunting in Chronic Remains nonstop. I wore my Hierophant with renewed pride. Asato managed to get his Chain Mail with my help. I would do anything for that idiot…
Today is Asato's birthday too. I saved up some money and bought him a new weapon. I felt a rush of happiness at the look on his face when I gave it to him. He told me he would cherish it forever… It meant a lot to me…
Anyways, I probably won't write for a while. Asato is treating me to a small vacation for the next month. I think we'll have fun, as hunting has really started to wear me out…
6th day of the 4th month of the 16th Deoch
It's been a while since I wrote in this blasted thing.
We just got back from vacation a few days ago. We had a lot of fun. Asato rented a small house off in the mountains of Suomi and we had some peace and relaxation. We did go to Suomi a few times. The town wasn't that populated and only a few aislings come and go there too.
We did a lot of walking. I enjoy nature a lot and so does Asato. We picked some wild grapes and fruit from the mountainside.
The only bad thing is that I think I'm growing closer to Asato. I can't grow closer to him… It only intensifies my feelings for him… I know I feel more to him than just a friend… It's taking more and more effort to keep him at a distant too, as he likes human interaction, like holding hands and hugs…
I don't know how to deal with this…
I sat back in my chair and sighed to myself. I had no idea about this… Hisoka never mentioned Asato to me. I rubbed my eyes and went back to reading.
7th day of the 7th month of the 16th Deoch
It's been a long time since I last written in here…
I feel so lost and confused…
Today, we went back down into the Chronic Remains. Our group ended up getting into a fight and they ended up ditching me, Asato and our rogue companion, by the name of Kosha. We ended up getting cornered by a bunch of small bugs.
They came upon us with full blast. Asato noticed I was about to be blasted by a spell. I had no time to cast any protection spells on myself…
He shield me from it and took the full blast of an ard creag spell…
Kosha managed to blind them while we slowly made our retreat. I managed to pull a few scrolls out of my pouch and we used them to teleport out…
Asato was hurt badly… He could barely walk… I had to carry him here to my house and tend his wounds…
They were serious…
I feel so upset and angry… Angry that the idiot stepped in front of me and took the spell… Angry at the wizard and monk who were with us, who argued over the stupidest thing and left us there to die… Upset because if I lost Asato…
He's stirring now… I'll write more later…
I flipped the page over. The handwriting on the next page was scribbled sloppy and with a lot of haste.
He's okay… Glioca heard my prayers after all this night…
But I made a terrible mistake…
I yelled at him. I yelled and yelled till my voice was hoarse, telling him how much of a fool he was for doing what he did, that he could've died, that I wasn't a child and I didn't need his protection, and that I was sick and tired of him looking out for me all the time.
He ended up leaving, with tears in his eyes…
Gods… Why did I yell at him like that…
10th day of the 11th month of the 16th Deoch
I don't write in this journal very often… But a lot of things happened in a short period.
I think I'll start out where I last left off in my journal. The next day after that, Asato came to my door as if nothing happened the previous night. And we just went on from there…
We finally obtained the last insight for our paths. More than anything now, we were going to master. Asato had a longer way to go, as mastering the path of a warrior isn't easy.
We decided not to subpath. We both cared much about our paths too greatly to give them up and choose the path of another.
We made a promise though. That we would master together. I intend to keep that promise and help him on his way to masterhood.
The next entry wasn't dated till two Deochs later. I wondered why that was so…
19th day of the 12th month of the 18th Deoch
Wow, it's been a long while since I wrote in here! But we finally mastered today! It took us two Deochs to master, but it was well worth it! We worked so hard and earned our title.
Asato wants me to meet him at his house tonight for a celebration and he wants to tell me something as well. I wonder what it could be. I hope he doesn't get drunk, like he sometimes does.
20th day of the 12th month of the 18th Deoch
Technically, it's the next day. Why am I sitting here late at night writing in my journal?
I went to his house; expecting all of his friends to be already there. But no one was there, it was only him. He invited me in and asked me to pull up a chair. I looked at him and asked him what was going on and that he better tell me right now…
Asato confessed to me today. He told me he's been holding his feelings back for many Deoches, and the day we hit our final insight, he vowed to himself that once we mastered, he would tell me how he feels about me.
I don't think I've ever been so happy in my Aisling life…
He told me he loved me… More than a friend…
I ended up crying. He thought it was because I didn't return the feelings. But I told him how I felt too, that it was mutual…
We promised that we would get fae bonded as soon as we could.
I smiled to myself and turned the page. I was so happy for Hisoka. He finally found happiness with his loved one. It didn't matter if he loved another man, love was love, and Glioca would bless them in every way (Stupid habit I picked up from my sisters, who follow Glioca. Argh). So maybe Hisoka left Temuair with Asato, maybe that's why he left.
But I remembered what happened that day when I saw him…
I found that they weren't as blessed and their story didn't end 'happily ever after', like I thought it would end…
4th day of the 1st month of the 19th Deoch
Sorry. It's been a while, but Asato took me on vacation as soon as we were fae bonded. I'll have to thank Antheia's sister, Starza, later. The poor girl was dragged out of bed at a very early hour, because Asato wanted us fae bonded as soon as possible. She performed a small, short, but simple, ceremony and we were bonded. I never felt so happy in my life. Starza asked us to seal it together with a kiss. I didn't hear her cheer or see her leave. All I saw was Asato, the man I loved, before me…
We went to the house up at Suomi. It was just like before, only I didn't have to be distant from Asato. We spent some time outside, but we spent a lot of our time indoors. I won't put down the details, but I think you know what I mean.
Asato decided to move in with me after the vacation. In fact, he's looking at me right now… Oh, he's got that look on his face…
I promise to write more often…
The next page had tear blotches on it, just like from before. I was getting worried…
5th day of the 2nd month of the 19th Deoch
Why is it when your life is going so well, that something bad has to happen? I never thought that anything like this would happen…
Today, Asato and I were walking around Mileth. We were holding hands, of course. And some Aislings passed by, giving us looks. Some were giving us odd looks. Some were with smiles. I saw Starza and she waved to me with a smile. She was always so friendly…
But the smiles stopped, but the odd looks didn't. And we ended up getting cornered by a few master monks and warriors…
They surrounded us, calling us names. Asato didn't want to pick a fight and tried to reason with them, but they wouldn't let us go… And… Oh, Gods, why did this happen…
I managed to get away and call some guards… By the time we got back there…
Asato got beaten up pretty badly… They called us such horrible names…
Why? Why is it so wrong to be with the person you love? I know we're both males, but is it so wrong to be with Asato, because he is a male…?
I just don't understand it…
I realized there were only two more entries left in the journal… The next entry was fairly long. But I gasped as I saw the blood stains along the sides of the pages. I knew something bad had happened…
24th day of the 2nd month of the 20th Deoch
It's all over for me now… I haven't written in a Deoch, but…
Today was supposed to be a special day… Today was my lover's birthday… I had everything planned out… Starza promised to help out too, but she would come later on in the day. She's become a dear friend of mine. I wish she didn't have to see what had happened…
We were in the enchanted garden… We were having a picnic… And it happened…
Those people who hurt us a Deoch ago had their exiles pardoned. And they were back to have their 'vengeance' on us…
It was awful… I can't believe that such hate existed in Temuair…
Those so-called 'masters' surrounded us and pinned me down on the ground. I could only watch as my lover was beaten to the ground. I cried out in frustration and panic.
I thought they were done, but they only began.
A wizard came by and looked down at Asato. He called him such… horrible names… And…
I could only watch as they tied Asato up. They tied him up to a high built stake and piled wood at his feet. Panic rose up against me and I struggled against my captures, but I couldn't escape their grip they had on me.
I could only watch as the wizard cast a fire spell and let it loose below Asato's feet and… Dear Gods, I can still hear the cackling…
I could only watch as my lover screamed while being burned to death…
Somehow, Starza managed to stumble on this scene with a few of her friends. They looked at the scene in horror…
And that's when I snapped…
I could still hear Asato's screams and the spray of blood on my cheeks and hands… I don't know what happened to me. Starza wouldn't tell me… But I knew what I had done…
I had taken several masters' lives…
I managed to put out the fire and managed to get Asato down from the stake. He collapsed in my lap like a broken doll. He was having a hard time breathing… But I heard his words…
"I love you, Hisoka…"
And that was the last thing Asato would ever utter in this world ever again…
Gods, why did this have to happen…
I still have their blood on my hands… I have Asato's blood on my hands…
I closed my eyes. I understood now… But there was one last entry in the journal…
24th day of the 2nd month of the 28th Deoch
It's been eight full Deochs since I last wrote in this thing. Eight Deochs since Asato's death…
Antheia mastered not too long ago. I was never really close to Antheia in the past, I was more close to her sister, Starza, but over these last Deochs, we got close. I'm happy for her. She's always been there for me, even though I never once mentioned Asato to her. I never told Antheia about my relationship with Asato, and Starza didn't tell her either, obviously. She would've liked Asato…
I've decided to leave the lands for good. I tried so long to be happy here, to find hope, like Starza told me to. But I just can't…
I'm leaving this journal and all memories of my time here. I've met some nice people, but they cannot fill the void in my heart. I can't stay here any longer. This land reminds me too much of my precious Asato…
Tomorrow, I catch the next boat in Abel. I told Antheia to meet me there. I want to say goodbye to her. She never knew Asato, I never told her about him, and we only talked when I was by myself, so I never got the chance to introduce him to her. I never thought that Asato…
Only Starza knows about us and who we really were, even though we met so late in our lives. I spoke to her yesterday. Her words were gentle and she promised me she would never let another incident that happened to us ever happen again (She promised that she would have a sermon on the importance of love during one of her Gliocan masses).
I know she'll keep her promise…
And wherever you are, Asato, my heart is with you…
I love you Asato…
This is where the journal ended. I sighed and let my memory drift back in time…
"Hey Hisoka!" I said and waved my hands. Hisoka looked up at me and smiled.
"What's up? You wanted to meet me here?"
"Yes, Antheia, this is goodbye…"
"Goodbye? Where are you going? You're going to be back soon, of course?"
"No, Anth. This is really goodbye. I'm leaving Temuair…"
"Why?"
"It's personal. But let's just say Temuair just holds memories that I'd rather forget…"
"I guess I can't talk you out of it, can I?"
"No. I made up my mind maybe Deoches ago. I finally decided to take some action on it."
"Hisoka…"
He smiled at me again and hugged me. I hugged him back and wiped away a tear.
"Goodbye Antheia, thank you for always being there."
"Bye Hisoka. I hope one day, we'll meet again."
So this is why he left… So many questions have been answered… So many mysteries have been solved…
I wiped away a tear that trickled down my cheek… It came at a heavy price. But it was good to know that I finally knew the truth…
Times were different now. I smiled. My sister did keep her promise to Hisoka. I decided I would also help her keep that promise.
I had new resolve. I had another mission in my life besides my wizard duties to Temuair.
I smiled to myself as I blew out the candle and slipped under the covers.
Notes (For people who don't know about Dark Ages):
-srad, creag, athar, and sal are the names of elements in Dark Ages. They are, in order, fire, earth, lightening(wind), and water.
-Gramail, Sgrios, and Glioca are 3 of the 8 Temuairian Gods that rule over Temuair. Gramail is the god of law and justice, Glioca is the Goddess of compassion. Sgrios is the God of Death and Decay and everytime you die in DA, you meet him, he gives you a scar and you end up back in the inn, naked. :X But in this case, Sgrios brings back aislings killed by MONSTERS, aislings that are killed by other aislings outside the arena, to me, die for good. Which explains Tsuzuki's death.
-Starza and Antheia are siblings IC. Starza is the oldest and is a priest who is also a part of Glioca. Antheia is a crossbred of a rogue and wizard path and she worships Ceannlaidir, the God of War.
-CR is a hunting area in Dark Ages which consist of mummies, beetles and other small creatures. It's a huge deep cavern that runs about 56 floors deep all together. Eastern Woodlands is also another hunting ground, and it's exactly what it says. Most of the hunts in there are goblins, hobgoblins, wolves and the like.
-Loures is where the King and his people live. Aislings are free to roam the castle as they wish. There is a library on the second floor where many lores are kept.
-Mileth is one of the towns in Temuair where aislings live in. Antheia lives in Mileth, she is the only Milethian citizen out of the entire family. Starza lives in Rucession.
-Hybrasil is a form of metal in Dark Ages. The boots that Antheia wears are of that metal. The color of hybrasil is yellow, think gold in this case. :P
-In this story, Tsuzuki is a warrior. I didn't make him a wizard because wizards are weak as hell in Dark Ages. I wanted to make Tsuzuki strong, and him being a wizard class wouldn't really cut it unless I did some manipulating of the Dark Ages environment. So I made him a warrior. Hisoka, I made a priest, because it fit exactly what he is really, although him worshipping Glioca is a bit far fetched. >.>
-'Mor Fas Nadur' is a wizard spell in the game that's supportative. It's the only spell that wizards use during hunts (As their elemental spells SUCK in DA. ~_~;;)
-'Bend space' was a Gramail prayer in the game that would litterally 'bend space' and you would end up in another spot.
-Suomi is another town in DA that's near the mountain area. Most people in DA use Suomi for small events and such.
-'Fae Bonding' is where two aislings 'bond' themselves because of their love for each other, litterally speaking. It leaves the mark 'Loves 'name'' on your legend in DA. You cannot have same sex marriages in DA. ~_~;; But you can fae bond in DA. It's a start, at least.
-'Subpathing' is where you get up to level 99 of your first part, and make a decision, to master that path or to take another path and master of that. For example, in the story, Hisoka and Tsuzuki stay the same paths that they are, a priest and warrior. Antheia, however, was originally a rogue. She later took the path of the wizard and mastered that path instead.
-'Deoch' are the years in Dark Ages.
-The idea of the 'character death' is something that did happen in DA to a friend of mine. ~_~;; They ended up getting taunted and teased because they were 'gay' and all the wonderful stereotypes you hear nowadays. And yes, I had Starza speak in her masses about things like this as well.
I think that's enough notes. ^_^;;
Rating: R for violence, lime content, character death
Pairing: Tsuzuki/Hisoka
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: Antheia finds a diary in the library while looking for a book of wizardy. The diary belonged to a person who left Temuair long ago. What she didn't expect was the diary belonged to a friend... What was the REAL reason that he left the lands?
Comments: Okay, for people who haven't read this, this story is a Dark Ages/Yami no Matsuei crossover. Yes, fear the crossover. :X Dark Ages is basically a fantasy like land. You can enjoy this story without knowing what Dark Ages is, just think of it as a fantasy environment. Although the more apporiate class for Tsuzuki would've been a wizard. >.>
Disclaimers: Antheia, Starza, and Temuair and it's related themes all belong to Nexon Inc. >.> I don't own any of them or anything. ^_^;;
I also don't own Tsuzuki or Hisoka. They belong to their respectful creator. ^_^;;
Anyways, on with the fic. For reference, anything in italics is thoughts AND part of the diary (I don't know how to change text on this thing).
"When it comes to love, nothing matters, not the time, place, or even the sex. Love is love, and should always be cherished… Accept love for what it is."
I sighed to myself as I carefully reached far back on this shelf. The Liberian told me I would find the elemental book, that I sought, back here. But I have yet to discover it.
Today hasn't been my day. It started out when one of my fellow wizard colleague's 'accidentally' burned a copy of 'Theories and Speculations of Air, Earth, Fire, and Water'. I waited MONTHS for this book to be delivered to my Mileth home too! And it cost me one million coins on top of it! Books aren't cheap today!
The situation: We were on our daily collection of the elements, today happened to be srad, the fire element. We were near a fireplace at the local Milethian inn. And she accidentally tipped the bottle she was currently collecting the fire element in, spilling it near my pouch, and that's where, of course, I had my book.
Thank goodness, we didn't burn down the inn (Riona would have had our hides for sure if we did. She did tell us that next time, though, we would have to do our 'experiments' somewhere else). After my friend apologized about a million times to me, I told her she would have to get me another copy of the book at least to replace the one I lost, which, thank the Gods, she agreed to. But I do feel a bit guilty, as she's not a rich person. But oh well, maybe next time her head won't be in the clouds!
Which led me to what I was currently doing. Searching in the Loures library for the copy of the book. I heard from my guild mates that there was a copy of 'Theories and Speculations of Earth, Air, Fire and Water' in the Loures library. Good, because I REALLY needed to look up something today.
I finally managed to find it. I was so glad that I didn't notice the book near it, which hit me in the head when I pulled 'my prize' from the shelf. Sigh, this REALLY isn't my day…
I bent down and prepared to put the book back in its place, when I noticed something. There was no title on the front of the cover. I flipped it over and there was nothing in there. I walked over to the small table in the library and placed the book I was looking for down for a second and flipped the small book I had in my hands open.
I realized why there was no title on the cover. This was a journal. But what was a journal doing in the wizard section of the library? I looked around, making sure no one noticed, and slipped the book into my pouch. I took the book I needed, and grabbing a piece of paper and a bottle of ink, I proceeded with my research.
However, I kept thinking back to the book that I found. My mind kept wandering off on it's own accord, wondering how it got there, what secrets laid hidden in it…
I slammed the book closed, which caused a few eyes to rise in my direction. It was no big deal though, I always attracted attention, whether it was my silly looking master hat, my golden hy-brasil boots shining upon my feet (Hy-brasal boots were really worn by warriors, but I liked wearing them, they were comfortable enough for me) or my pet fae, who sat on my shoulder right now, looking at me with a puzzled expression. I shook my head, returned the book to the shelf, grabbed what I had managed to write down (which wasn't much), and walked out of the library.
-
I decided to just retire for the day. That book was somehow drawing me to it. And I really couldn't concentrate right at the moment. And a wizard who can't concentrate is a danger to those around them.
I placed the book down on the table and opened it. Yes, start at the very beginning…
~
5th day of the 11th month of the 15th Deoch
I decided, at the suggestion of my whiny friend, to start a journal. Normally, I'm not a journal person, but he was really insistent, and I had to get him to shut up somehow. He told me it was a good way to 'let loose my emotions'. I think he's just being an idiot. But if he's telling the truth, I'm going to be writing here a lot.
Well, today consisted of me walking around with that idiot all day around the Eastern Woodlands. He almost saw Sgrios today, for perhaps the 15th time this Deoch. Unbelievable. I have to tell him to not be so careless all the time.
Why me?
~
I raised my eyebrow in surprise. This wasn't written too long ago. I came into this land in Deoch 13 myself. I couldn't recognize the handwriting at all. Sighing to myself, I turned the page…
~
10th day of the 11th month of the 15th Deoch
Me again. I had a really rotten day today.
Asato did it again! He ALWAYS manages to get into some sort of trouble! Well, today, he was trying to guide another peasant to the path of a warrior. Only he got himself lost in the Temple of Choosing, along with the person he had to guide. It took me hours to find them. How they ended up at the Gramail temple is BEYOND me.
Do I really WANT to know how they got there? I have a feeling Asato somehow bent space and ended up in the Gramail Temple. I told him time and time again to be careful when he prayed to Gramail, the God he worships. That it would eventually lead to trouble.
Sigh…
Sometimes, I don't know why I put up with that scattered brain idiot…
~
I chuckled to myself after reading that. So whoever wrote this had a friend named Asato? I don't recognize the name at all though. I continued on.
~
18th day of the 11th month of the 15th Deoch
ARGH! Asato is such a pain! He ended up getting scammed today! And of course, he came to ME, whining and moaning and groaning about it! And then he had the NERVE to ask me if he could borrow some gold! I almost threw this book at him, but he gave me 'that look'. Gods, I HATE it when he gives me that look, because I can't resist it…
This really isn't my month…
~
2nd day of the 12th month of the 15th Deoch
I haven't written in this book in a while. I'm sorry…
Wait, I'm apologizing to a BOOK! I think I'm losing my mind…
Today, we met a nice wizard. His name was Chan. What a weird name. But he did manage to keep up with Asato and me really well. He knew all about the elements and all the intermediate elemental spells. He even knew mor fas nadur! I was impressed.
We walked deep into the Eastern Woodlands today. We did fairly well, and came out with quite a bit of money too. We split it evenly. When Chan left, I had to remind Asato he owed me money, and I ended up taking Asato's part of the pool.
Yeah, I know, it's mean, but he DID owe me money. Maybe next time, he'll be more careful when he makes an exchange with someone.
~
15th day of the 12th month of the 15th Deoch
I met a nice rogue today. Her name is Antheia. I asked her to polish some gems for me and she did. I offered her money and labor, but she laughed really loudly and ran off after she polished my last gem and said not to worry.
What a weird girl…
~
WAIT a minute!!! My name is mentioned in the book!? What the hell? I sat back and tried to remember that moment in time…
And then it hit me! This was Hisoka's journal! He was a long time friend of mine! But… He left suddenly one day, a few days after I mastered. He wrote me a note, asking him to meet me at the Abel docks. I still had it in one of my drawers.
I lifted my head with renewed hope. This was no coincidence that I happened to 'stumble' on his journal. And maybe the reason why he disappeared would become clear too. With renewed hope, I continued on in the journal, now seeking answers to the sudden disappearance of my friend…
~
3rd day of the 1st month of the 16th Deoch
It's been a while since I wrote again, but I've been really busy with things. Asato wanted to hunt non-stop before the end of the Deoch and only now, am I just taking a break.
We finally managed to pass into the third circle of our aislinghood. It was a wonderful feeling I had as I donned my new Mantle. Asato claimed up the Lorica for his own. I was really proud of him. Sure, he can be an idiot at times, but when he's on the battle field…
I think I'll stop here for the day.
~
7th day of the 1st month of the 16th Deoch
Asato is SUCH an idiot! I can't believe what he did today! I'm STILL fuming!
Today, we were getting ready to hunt over in the Eastern woodlands. Somehow the conversation led over about ourselves and Asato told an embarrassing story of how I got lost in Mileth and how I needed a guard to point me in the right direction.
I can STILL hear the jeering and laughing from the two people we were with. I could feel the embarrassment on my cheeks and I cursed my blush reflex. I told them all to 'screw off' and here I am now. And stupid Asato is banging at my door right now… I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!!!! Argh…
~
Here, the entry stopped. Puzzled, I flipped over to the next page and continued reading. I was kinda surprised, as there were blotches on the page, like water dripped on the page. Was Hisoka crying when he wrote this entry?
~
I hate him… No, I really don't… I hate how he makes me feel… I'm so freaking confused right now…
Asato came over to my house to apologize. He really didn't mean to do what he did and I could tell, just by looking into his eyes. He was really upset too. I think he was crying beforehand too. I told him that I forgive him. He fell into my lap and started crying, saying he hurt me and he didn't mean it. I stroked his hair back and told him I wasn't mad. I really wasn't at that moment. I don't know how long we were in that position…
And for that moment… My heart started to beat faster as he looked me in my eyes… He smiled at me… He left shortly after that, and I promised him I would make up our lack of hunting tomorrow…
God, I don't think I ever felt this scared before… Asato is my best friend, nothing more… That's what I keep telling myself…
And yet…
~
I blinked and shook my head. I never met Asato, ever before. And yet, as I'm reading this journal, they seemed really closed. I wondered if they loved each other?
I sighed and continued to read…
~
20th day of the 1st month of the 16th Deoch
Again, it's been a while since I wrote in my journal. But I've been busy. It seems like I'm always busy.
The past few days have gone well for me though. Asato though, thinks I'm being distant. I'm really not. I'm just afraid of being close to him…
It's strange, when did I start feeling like this? I even have a hard time calling him an idiot nowadays. I get these sudden urges to run up to him and hug him close and tell him how I'm feeling inside or to just spend a day with him, not hunting or doing my priestly duties, but just relaxing and for once, having fun, not having to deal with anyone else…
But he's so determined to become somebody in Temuair… I don't want to interfere with his dream… I'm not part of it anyways…
~
5th day of the 2nd month of the 16th Deoch
We went on our first Chronic Remains hunt today. The Chronic Remains is a deep, dark cave over near the House of Macabre. It was our first time in here.
It was really scary and I was really afraid. Not for myself, but mainly for Asato. He got pummeled several times by Mummies and beetles.
We somehow managed to get out of that alive. Asato wants to go down there again, even after the beating he took! Stupid idiot he is…
~
24th day of the 2nd month of the 16th Deoch
We made it out of the third circle after hunting in Chronic Remains nonstop. I wore my Hierophant with renewed pride. Asato managed to get his Chain Mail with my help. I would do anything for that idiot…
Today is Asato's birthday too. I saved up some money and bought him a new weapon. I felt a rush of happiness at the look on his face when I gave it to him. He told me he would cherish it forever… It meant a lot to me…
Anyways, I probably won't write for a while. Asato is treating me to a small vacation for the next month. I think we'll have fun, as hunting has really started to wear me out…
~
6th day of the 4th month of the 16th Deoch
It's been a while since I wrote in this blasted thing.
We just got back from vacation a few days ago. We had a lot of fun. Asato rented a small house off in the mountains of Suomi and we had some peace and relaxation. We did go to Suomi a few times. The town wasn't that populated and only a few aislings come and go there too.
We did a lot of walking. I enjoy nature a lot and so does Asato. We picked some wild grapes and fruit from the mountainside.
The only bad thing is that I think I'm growing closer to Asato. I can't grow closer to him… It only intensifies my feelings for him… I know I feel more to him than just a friend… It's taking more and more effort to keep him at a distant too, as he likes human interaction, like holding hands and hugs…
I don't know how to deal with this…
~
I sat back in my chair and sighed to myself. I had no idea about this… Hisoka never mentioned Asato to me. I rubbed my eyes and went back to reading.
~
7th day of the 7th month of the 16th Deoch
It's been a long time since I last written in here…
I feel so lost and confused…
Today, we went back down into the Chronic Remains. Our group ended up getting into a fight and they ended up ditching me, Asato and our rogue companion, by the name of Kosha. We ended up getting cornered by a bunch of small bugs.
They came upon us with full blast. Asato noticed I was about to be blasted by a spell. I had no time to cast any protection spells on myself…
He shield me from it and took the full blast of an ard creag spell…
Kosha managed to blind them while we slowly made our retreat. I managed to pull a few scrolls out of my pouch and we used them to teleport out…
Asato was hurt badly… He could barely walk… I had to carry him here to my house and tend his wounds…
They were serious…
I feel so upset and angry… Angry that the idiot stepped in front of me and took the spell… Angry at the wizard and monk who were with us, who argued over the stupidest thing and left us there to die… Upset because if I lost Asato…
He's stirring now… I'll write more later…
~
I flipped the page over. The handwriting on the next page was scribbled sloppy and with a lot of haste.
~
He's okay… Glioca heard my prayers after all this night…
But I made a terrible mistake…
I yelled at him. I yelled and yelled till my voice was hoarse, telling him how much of a fool he was for doing what he did, that he could've died, that I wasn't a child and I didn't need his protection, and that I was sick and tired of him looking out for me all the time.
He ended up leaving, with tears in his eyes…
Gods… Why did I yell at him like that…
~
10th day of the 11th month of the 16th Deoch
I don't write in this journal very often… But a lot of things happened in a short period.
I think I'll start out where I last left off in my journal. The next day after that, Asato came to my door as if nothing happened the previous night. And we just went on from there…
We finally obtained the last insight for our paths. More than anything now, we were going to master. Asato had a longer way to go, as mastering the path of a warrior isn't easy.
We decided not to subpath. We both cared much about our paths too greatly to give them up and choose the path of another.
We made a promise though. That we would master together. I intend to keep that promise and help him on his way to masterhood.
~
The next entry wasn't dated till two Deochs later. I wondered why that was so…
~
19th day of the 12th month of the 18th Deoch
Wow, it's been a long while since I wrote in here! But we finally mastered today! It took us two Deochs to master, but it was well worth it! We worked so hard and earned our title.
Asato wants me to meet him at his house tonight for a celebration and he wants to tell me something as well. I wonder what it could be. I hope he doesn't get drunk, like he sometimes does.
~
20th day of the 12th month of the 18th Deoch
Technically, it's the next day. Why am I sitting here late at night writing in my journal?
I went to his house; expecting all of his friends to be already there. But no one was there, it was only him. He invited me in and asked me to pull up a chair. I looked at him and asked him what was going on and that he better tell me right now…
Asato confessed to me today. He told me he's been holding his feelings back for many Deoches, and the day we hit our final insight, he vowed to himself that once we mastered, he would tell me how he feels about me.
I don't think I've ever been so happy in my Aisling life…
He told me he loved me… More than a friend…
I ended up crying. He thought it was because I didn't return the feelings. But I told him how I felt too, that it was mutual…
We promised that we would get fae bonded as soon as we could.
~
I smiled to myself and turned the page. I was so happy for Hisoka. He finally found happiness with his loved one. It didn't matter if he loved another man, love was love, and Glioca would bless them in every way (Stupid habit I picked up from my sisters, who follow Glioca. Argh). So maybe Hisoka left Temuair with Asato, maybe that's why he left.
But I remembered what happened that day when I saw him…
I found that they weren't as blessed and their story didn't end 'happily ever after', like I thought it would end…
~
4th day of the 1st month of the 19th Deoch
Sorry. It's been a while, but Asato took me on vacation as soon as we were fae bonded. I'll have to thank Antheia's sister, Starza, later. The poor girl was dragged out of bed at a very early hour, because Asato wanted us fae bonded as soon as possible. She performed a small, short, but simple, ceremony and we were bonded. I never felt so happy in my life. Starza asked us to seal it together with a kiss. I didn't hear her cheer or see her leave. All I saw was Asato, the man I loved, before me…
We went to the house up at Suomi. It was just like before, only I didn't have to be distant from Asato. We spent some time outside, but we spent a lot of our time indoors. I won't put down the details, but I think you know what I mean.
Asato decided to move in with me after the vacation. In fact, he's looking at me right now… Oh, he's got that look on his face…
I promise to write more often…
~
The next page had tear blotches on it, just like from before. I was getting worried…
~
5th day of the 2nd month of the 19th Deoch
Why is it when your life is going so well, that something bad has to happen? I never thought that anything like this would happen…
Today, Asato and I were walking around Mileth. We were holding hands, of course. And some Aislings passed by, giving us looks. Some were giving us odd looks. Some were with smiles. I saw Starza and she waved to me with a smile. She was always so friendly…
But the smiles stopped, but the odd looks didn't. And we ended up getting cornered by a few master monks and warriors…
They surrounded us, calling us names. Asato didn't want to pick a fight and tried to reason with them, but they wouldn't let us go… And… Oh, Gods, why did this happen…
I managed to get away and call some guards… By the time we got back there…
Asato got beaten up pretty badly… They called us such horrible names…
Why? Why is it so wrong to be with the person you love? I know we're both males, but is it so wrong to be with Asato, because he is a male…?
I just don't understand it…
~
I realized there were only two more entries left in the journal… The next entry was fairly long. But I gasped as I saw the blood stains along the sides of the pages. I knew something bad had happened…
~
24th day of the 2nd month of the 20th Deoch
It's all over for me now… I haven't written in a Deoch, but…
Today was supposed to be a special day… Today was my lover's birthday… I had everything planned out… Starza promised to help out too, but she would come later on in the day. She's become a dear friend of mine. I wish she didn't have to see what had happened…
We were in the enchanted garden… We were having a picnic… And it happened…
Those people who hurt us a Deoch ago had their exiles pardoned. And they were back to have their 'vengeance' on us…
It was awful… I can't believe that such hate existed in Temuair…
Those so-called 'masters' surrounded us and pinned me down on the ground. I could only watch as my lover was beaten to the ground. I cried out in frustration and panic.
I thought they were done, but they only began.
A wizard came by and looked down at Asato. He called him such… horrible names… And…
I could only watch as they tied Asato up. They tied him up to a high built stake and piled wood at his feet. Panic rose up against me and I struggled against my captures, but I couldn't escape their grip they had on me.
I could only watch as the wizard cast a fire spell and let it loose below Asato's feet and… Dear Gods, I can still hear the cackling…
I could only watch as my lover screamed while being burned to death…
Somehow, Starza managed to stumble on this scene with a few of her friends. They looked at the scene in horror…
And that's when I snapped…
I could still hear Asato's screams and the spray of blood on my cheeks and hands… I don't know what happened to me. Starza wouldn't tell me… But I knew what I had done…
I had taken several masters' lives…
I managed to put out the fire and managed to get Asato down from the stake. He collapsed in my lap like a broken doll. He was having a hard time breathing… But I heard his words…
"I love you, Hisoka…"
And that was the last thing Asato would ever utter in this world ever again…
Gods, why did this have to happen…
I still have their blood on my hands… I have Asato's blood on my hands…
~
I closed my eyes. I understood now… But there was one last entry in the journal…
~
24th day of the 2nd month of the 28th Deoch
It's been eight full Deochs since I last wrote in this thing. Eight Deochs since Asato's death…
Antheia mastered not too long ago. I was never really close to Antheia in the past, I was more close to her sister, Starza, but over these last Deochs, we got close. I'm happy for her. She's always been there for me, even though I never once mentioned Asato to her. I never told Antheia about my relationship with Asato, and Starza didn't tell her either, obviously. She would've liked Asato…
I've decided to leave the lands for good. I tried so long to be happy here, to find hope, like Starza told me to. But I just can't…
I'm leaving this journal and all memories of my time here. I've met some nice people, but they cannot fill the void in my heart. I can't stay here any longer. This land reminds me too much of my precious Asato…
Tomorrow, I catch the next boat in Abel. I told Antheia to meet me there. I want to say goodbye to her. She never knew Asato, I never told her about him, and we only talked when I was by myself, so I never got the chance to introduce him to her. I never thought that Asato…
Only Starza knows about us and who we really were, even though we met so late in our lives. I spoke to her yesterday. Her words were gentle and she promised me she would never let another incident that happened to us ever happen again (She promised that she would have a sermon on the importance of love during one of her Gliocan masses).
I know she'll keep her promise…
And wherever you are, Asato, my heart is with you…
I love you Asato…
~
This is where the journal ended. I sighed and let my memory drift back in time…
"Hey Hisoka!" I said and waved my hands. Hisoka looked up at me and smiled.
"What's up? You wanted to meet me here?"
"Yes, Antheia, this is goodbye…"
"Goodbye? Where are you going? You're going to be back soon, of course?"
"No, Anth. This is really goodbye. I'm leaving Temuair…"
"Why?"
"It's personal. But let's just say Temuair just holds memories that I'd rather forget…"
"I guess I can't talk you out of it, can I?"
"No. I made up my mind maybe Deoches ago. I finally decided to take some action on it."
"Hisoka…"
He smiled at me again and hugged me. I hugged him back and wiped away a tear.
"Goodbye Antheia, thank you for always being there."
"Bye Hisoka. I hope one day, we'll meet again."
So this is why he left… So many questions have been answered… So many mysteries have been solved…
I wiped away a tear that trickled down my cheek… It came at a heavy price. But it was good to know that I finally knew the truth…
Times were different now. I smiled. My sister did keep her promise to Hisoka. I decided I would also help her keep that promise.
I had new resolve. I had another mission in my life besides my wizard duties to Temuair.
I smiled to myself as I blew out the candle and slipped under the covers.
Notes (For people who don't know about Dark Ages):
-srad, creag, athar, and sal are the names of elements in Dark Ages. They are, in order, fire, earth, lightening(wind), and water.
-Gramail, Sgrios, and Glioca are 3 of the 8 Temuairian Gods that rule over Temuair. Gramail is the god of law and justice, Glioca is the Goddess of compassion. Sgrios is the God of Death and Decay and everytime you die in DA, you meet him, he gives you a scar and you end up back in the inn, naked. :X But in this case, Sgrios brings back aislings killed by MONSTERS, aislings that are killed by other aislings outside the arena, to me, die for good. Which explains Tsuzuki's death.
-Starza and Antheia are siblings IC. Starza is the oldest and is a priest who is also a part of Glioca. Antheia is a crossbred of a rogue and wizard path and she worships Ceannlaidir, the God of War.
-CR is a hunting area in Dark Ages which consist of mummies, beetles and other small creatures. It's a huge deep cavern that runs about 56 floors deep all together. Eastern Woodlands is also another hunting ground, and it's exactly what it says. Most of the hunts in there are goblins, hobgoblins, wolves and the like.
-Loures is where the King and his people live. Aislings are free to roam the castle as they wish. There is a library on the second floor where many lores are kept.
-Mileth is one of the towns in Temuair where aislings live in. Antheia lives in Mileth, she is the only Milethian citizen out of the entire family. Starza lives in Rucession.
-Hybrasil is a form of metal in Dark Ages. The boots that Antheia wears are of that metal. The color of hybrasil is yellow, think gold in this case. :P
-In this story, Tsuzuki is a warrior. I didn't make him a wizard because wizards are weak as hell in Dark Ages. I wanted to make Tsuzuki strong, and him being a wizard class wouldn't really cut it unless I did some manipulating of the Dark Ages environment. So I made him a warrior. Hisoka, I made a priest, because it fit exactly what he is really, although him worshipping Glioca is a bit far fetched. >.>
-'Mor Fas Nadur' is a wizard spell in the game that's supportative. It's the only spell that wizards use during hunts (As their elemental spells SUCK in DA. ~_~;;)
-'Bend space' was a Gramail prayer in the game that would litterally 'bend space' and you would end up in another spot.
-Suomi is another town in DA that's near the mountain area. Most people in DA use Suomi for small events and such.
-'Fae Bonding' is where two aislings 'bond' themselves because of their love for each other, litterally speaking. It leaves the mark 'Loves 'name'' on your legend in DA. You cannot have same sex marriages in DA. ~_~;; But you can fae bond in DA. It's a start, at least.
-'Subpathing' is where you get up to level 99 of your first part, and make a decision, to master that path or to take another path and master of that. For example, in the story, Hisoka and Tsuzuki stay the same paths that they are, a priest and warrior. Antheia, however, was originally a rogue. She later took the path of the wizard and mastered that path instead.
-'Deoch' are the years in Dark Ages.
-The idea of the 'character death' is something that did happen in DA to a friend of mine. ~_~;; They ended up getting taunted and teased because they were 'gay' and all the wonderful stereotypes you hear nowadays. And yes, I had Starza speak in her masses about things like this as well.
I think that's enough notes. ^_^;;
