More bad Star Ocean 3 fic
Sep. 27th, 2011 01:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogJoy... :( This author seems to be popular and she streams out stories pretty fast. She's written a LOT of SO3 fics and Death Note fics. The problem? They're pretty much ALL bad. Or horrid AUs. I started with her supposed first fanfic because it's like one of the only fics on the actual game timeline, but... urgh
Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Death and Destruction
Author: crematosis
Genre: Angst/Humor(?)
Rating: T
Warnings: Sophia bashing, massive amounts of OOCness, PwP
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt, one sided Fayt/Sophia
Plot: 2/10 - Seriously, what plot? There's like... nothing to work with here. I'm assuming it's before the game ends, but even I can't exactly tell. Basically, it's a bunch of Albel and Fayt bonding moments, alongside the other main cast acting like a bunch of crazed Yaoi fanbrats. And lots of Sophia bashing. Reading this fic makes me WANT to write a Sophia based fic.
The only interesting concept is how Fayt wants someone to look at him 'normally' instead of a weapon, but Albel's stubbornness tries to get to the bottom of it. In fact, in my fanfic, that's how Fayt feels. The problem is if the characters weren't a mangled mess, it could work.
Writing: 2/10 - There are a lot of spelling errors here that a simple spell checker could pick up. There's no excuse for this. Open Office is free and does the same thing Microsoft Word can do, it also has a spelling checker in it. There's even grammar errors like forgetting to put the quotation marks at the beginning or ending the dialogue, commas missing or being misplaced. The Author even mispells canon names wrong.
It's a mess, to put it simply.
Characterization: 1/10 - Without a doubt, every character is completely OCC. A perfect example:
Albel jammed his claw back on and slumped back into his seat. "My father dove in to save me from a worse fate. Because of me, a pathetic weakling like me is allowed to live and my father died."
"That sucks," Fayt said with a bitter laugh.
Do I even need to say what's wrong with this one part? Fayt can be a douche sometimes, but here, he's a total dickwad. Albel pours his heart out and all Fayt can say is 'sux2bu'????
Not to mention, when Fayt goes to Arias, he's beaten up and spit on. Um, after I got Maria in my group, when I went to Arias, no one said anything nasty or punched Fayt in the balls.
Let's not forget that everyone in the group is like a yaoi fanbrat from Cliff to Nel to even freaking Maria. And Sophia bashing of course.
I don't like Sophia myself, she's a very bland and boring character that never really gets developed too well (I believe she was just added in SO3 because it lacked a total Symbology user. In the original, Mirage and Adray were not playable characters, and considering Sophia isn't obtained till Disk 2 and if your mana hits 0, you die... Yeah, you don't really need a Symbology user). But good fucking lord, she's practically Fayt's BEST FRIEND. She would not treat him like dog poo if he developed feelings for someone, wheither it's Albel or someone else. She isn't THAT flat of a character and she was never truely bitchy unless Fayt was an insensative jerk first.
Negativities: OCCness to the max, lots of spelling/grammar issues, no real plot.
Summary: Fayt is angsting about the terrible powers he wields. Too bad a certain swordsman won't leave him alone.
Overall: 1.6/10 - Probably one of the worst Albel/Fayt fics I've read outside of this fic. It had an interesting idea, but the author cripples it completely.
Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: Death and Destruction
Author: crematosis
Genre: Angst/Humor(?)
Rating: T
Warnings: Sophia bashing, massive amounts of OOCness, PwP
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Fayt, one sided Fayt/Sophia
Plot: 2/10 - Seriously, what plot? There's like... nothing to work with here. I'm assuming it's before the game ends, but even I can't exactly tell. Basically, it's a bunch of Albel and Fayt bonding moments, alongside the other main cast acting like a bunch of crazed Yaoi fanbrats. And lots of Sophia bashing. Reading this fic makes me WANT to write a Sophia based fic.
The only interesting concept is how Fayt wants someone to look at him 'normally' instead of a weapon, but Albel's stubbornness tries to get to the bottom of it. In fact, in my fanfic, that's how Fayt feels. The problem is if the characters weren't a mangled mess, it could work.
Writing: 2/10 - There are a lot of spelling errors here that a simple spell checker could pick up. There's no excuse for this. Open Office is free and does the same thing Microsoft Word can do, it also has a spelling checker in it. There's even grammar errors like forgetting to put the quotation marks at the beginning or ending the dialogue, commas missing or being misplaced. The Author even mispells canon names wrong.
It's a mess, to put it simply.
Characterization: 1/10 - Without a doubt, every character is completely OCC. A perfect example:
Albel jammed his claw back on and slumped back into his seat. "My father dove in to save me from a worse fate. Because of me, a pathetic weakling like me is allowed to live and my father died."
"That sucks," Fayt said with a bitter laugh.
Do I even need to say what's wrong with this one part? Fayt can be a douche sometimes, but here, he's a total dickwad. Albel pours his heart out and all Fayt can say is 'sux2bu'????
Not to mention, when Fayt goes to Arias, he's beaten up and spit on. Um, after I got Maria in my group, when I went to Arias, no one said anything nasty or punched Fayt in the balls.
Let's not forget that everyone in the group is like a yaoi fanbrat from Cliff to Nel to even freaking Maria. And Sophia bashing of course.
I don't like Sophia myself, she's a very bland and boring character that never really gets developed too well (I believe she was just added in SO3 because it lacked a total Symbology user. In the original, Mirage and Adray were not playable characters, and considering Sophia isn't obtained till Disk 2 and if your mana hits 0, you die... Yeah, you don't really need a Symbology user). But good fucking lord, she's practically Fayt's BEST FRIEND. She would not treat him like dog poo if he developed feelings for someone, wheither it's Albel or someone else. She isn't THAT flat of a character and she was never truely bitchy unless Fayt was an insensative jerk first.
Negativities: OCCness to the max, lots of spelling/grammar issues, no real plot.
Summary: Fayt is angsting about the terrible powers he wields. Too bad a certain swordsman won't leave him alone.
Overall: 1.6/10 - Probably one of the worst Albel/Fayt fics I've read outside of this fic. It had an interesting idea, but the author cripples it completely.
