(no subject)
Jul. 25th, 2006 03:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogSadly, I think I may give up on finding a decent Albel/Sophia fic.
The good news is that, while this author says that Keeki and allmysensesfail's fics are better, hers is much much better than theirs.
Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: BitterSweet Motivations
Author: Dragon Chyld
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Sophia, implied Fayt/Sophia, implied Fayt/Maria, implied Cliff/Mirage
Plot: 5/10 - There isn't much plot, it takes place pre and post game and tries to build up Albel/Sophia's relationship, but does it too fast and it ends into marriage much too quickly, like most het romances seem to do.
Up around chapter 10, Sophia gets mistaken for *spoilers*, which is sort of a cheap cop-out, really. It doesn't really affect anything till the end of the story.
Unfortuantely, the story suffers from 'love triangle' sydrome, aka, making one or more people to be 'bad' or seem to get in the middle of our pairing in the story. If anything, the love triangle thing is a even cheaper cop-out. Luckily, it's done without character bashing.
And the marriage in the end is very very rushed. Whatever happened to old fashioned woeing? :/
And what happened with the Federation incident too? That sort of vanishes completely from the storyline.
Writing: 7/10 - Sadly, this story is written fairly odd. It's supposed to be a narrator telling the story to the audience, but a lot of the time, it goes back more to third person and then ocassionally comes back to first person. It's important to keep everything in the same PoV, but it flip flops and you sometimes forget that this was ever written from someone else's PoV.
Sadly, parts to this fic are written like the world is a game, with mana and health bars. This makes the fic look silly at times where it tries to be serious.
There are a few errors here and there, but they're not noticable. The fic is fairly well written and flows rather nicely.
Characterization: 5/10 - Up till around chapter 6, the author was doing a fair buildup between the two. Until the 'truth serum' incident.
Surprisingly enough, Sophia is in character for the most part, save her fast falling in love with Albel. Sadly, it's not built up enough and Fayt sort of falls out of Sophia's picture fairly quickly. She gets over her feelings for Fayt way too fast.
Unfortuantely, while Fayt is in character mostly (Cept his instant giggling, urgh), the relationship between Albel and Fayt is fairly bad. Why do authors constantly think that Albel and Fayt hate each other? At bare minimum, if you decide to take Albel as a party member for good, they have some sort of mutual respect for one another, and it's really grating to see this happen constantly in non-Albel/Fayt fics. The little fight in chapter 9 between them was an eye roll.
Sadly, he turns into psycho!bitch in part of chapter 11. Urgh, I am a firm believer that if EITHER Fayt OR Sophia get into a relationship with Albel, yes, it would be hard on both of them, but in time, they'd come to accept it, and they wouldn't turn psycho on Albel and want to hunt him down. He later apoligizes, but it's not Fayt's character to do something, especially since if you take Albel and do the Peterny scene, he claims to trust Albel.
And where is Fayt in chapter 7? If they had to choose one of those choices, I'd be betting Sophia would crying on Fayt's shoulder, not Albel.
And Albel? You know, I get pissed when Fayt weeps opening in many Albel/Fayt stories, but I think Albel weeping, truth serum or not, is even more annoying. He seems like himself at first, and while the first few chapters looked promising, the author sadly rushed the relationship between the two.
Unfortuantely, Maria suffers from the 'bitch' sydrome that I've seen in nearly all Albel/Sophia stories, that she wants Fayt to herself and doesn't like Sophia. Gag. ~_~ No, there was only one part where Maria yelled at her and it wasn't because she was hogging Fayt's attention.
Nel playing matchmaker was amusing, but I think her worry about her being with Albel would make her take a step back. It seems she doesn't mind or care that Sophia is falling in love with him, which on one hand seems okay, but on another, it disturbs me. I think Nel may be upset, but in time come to accept it. Unfortuantely, the first never comes to be.
The marriage at the end was predictable, but rushed big time. If anything, I think Albel and Sophia would want to get to know each other better than rush right into marriage.
And where is Peppita? Roger was even thrown into this story, but Peppita is totally absent.
Negativities: Not enough build up on the main pairing
Summary: A certain swordsman has caught the eye of Sophia, and she's determined to get to know him, wheither he likes it or not. Sadly, while the first parts show promise, the story deludes and rushes into their relationship too quickly.
Overall: 5.6/10 - Much better than the previous two stories, but not by much, mainly from a not so strong plot and mediorc characterizations. There were times where characters were spot on (Cliff, Mirage), but when characters were off, they were off the mark, big time. You could give this story a whirl, but unless you are originally a fan of Albel/Sophia, you're not gonna be won over to this pairing with this fic.
The good news is that, while this author says that Keeki and allmysensesfail's fics are better, hers is much much better than theirs.
Series: Star Ocean 3
Title: BitterSweet Motivations
Author: Dragon Chyld
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Couple (if applicable): Albel/Sophia, implied Fayt/Sophia, implied Fayt/Maria, implied Cliff/Mirage
Plot: 5/10 - There isn't much plot, it takes place pre and post game and tries to build up Albel/Sophia's relationship, but does it too fast and it ends into marriage much too quickly, like most het romances seem to do.
Up around chapter 10, Sophia gets mistaken for *spoilers*, which is sort of a cheap cop-out, really. It doesn't really affect anything till the end of the story.
Unfortuantely, the story suffers from 'love triangle' sydrome, aka, making one or more people to be 'bad' or seem to get in the middle of our pairing in the story. If anything, the love triangle thing is a even cheaper cop-out. Luckily, it's done without character bashing.
And the marriage in the end is very very rushed. Whatever happened to old fashioned woeing? :/
And what happened with the Federation incident too? That sort of vanishes completely from the storyline.
Writing: 7/10 - Sadly, this story is written fairly odd. It's supposed to be a narrator telling the story to the audience, but a lot of the time, it goes back more to third person and then ocassionally comes back to first person. It's important to keep everything in the same PoV, but it flip flops and you sometimes forget that this was ever written from someone else's PoV.
Sadly, parts to this fic are written like the world is a game, with mana and health bars. This makes the fic look silly at times where it tries to be serious.
There are a few errors here and there, but they're not noticable. The fic is fairly well written and flows rather nicely.
Characterization: 5/10 - Up till around chapter 6, the author was doing a fair buildup between the two. Until the 'truth serum' incident.
Surprisingly enough, Sophia is in character for the most part, save her fast falling in love with Albel. Sadly, it's not built up enough and Fayt sort of falls out of Sophia's picture fairly quickly. She gets over her feelings for Fayt way too fast.
Unfortuantely, while Fayt is in character mostly (Cept his instant giggling, urgh), the relationship between Albel and Fayt is fairly bad. Why do authors constantly think that Albel and Fayt hate each other? At bare minimum, if you decide to take Albel as a party member for good, they have some sort of mutual respect for one another, and it's really grating to see this happen constantly in non-Albel/Fayt fics. The little fight in chapter 9 between them was an eye roll.
Sadly, he turns into psycho!bitch in part of chapter 11. Urgh, I am a firm believer that if EITHER Fayt OR Sophia get into a relationship with Albel, yes, it would be hard on both of them, but in time, they'd come to accept it, and they wouldn't turn psycho on Albel and want to hunt him down. He later apoligizes, but it's not Fayt's character to do something, especially since if you take Albel and do the Peterny scene, he claims to trust Albel.
And where is Fayt in chapter 7? If they had to choose one of those choices, I'd be betting Sophia would crying on Fayt's shoulder, not Albel.
And Albel? You know, I get pissed when Fayt weeps opening in many Albel/Fayt stories, but I think Albel weeping, truth serum or not, is even more annoying. He seems like himself at first, and while the first few chapters looked promising, the author sadly rushed the relationship between the two.
Unfortuantely, Maria suffers from the 'bitch' sydrome that I've seen in nearly all Albel/Sophia stories, that she wants Fayt to herself and doesn't like Sophia. Gag. ~_~ No, there was only one part where Maria yelled at her and it wasn't because she was hogging Fayt's attention.
Nel playing matchmaker was amusing, but I think her worry about her being with Albel would make her take a step back. It seems she doesn't mind or care that Sophia is falling in love with him, which on one hand seems okay, but on another, it disturbs me. I think Nel may be upset, but in time come to accept it. Unfortuantely, the first never comes to be.
The marriage at the end was predictable, but rushed big time. If anything, I think Albel and Sophia would want to get to know each other better than rush right into marriage.
And where is Peppita? Roger was even thrown into this story, but Peppita is totally absent.
Negativities: Not enough build up on the main pairing
Summary: A certain swordsman has caught the eye of Sophia, and she's determined to get to know him, wheither he likes it or not. Sadly, while the first parts show promise, the story deludes and rushes into their relationship too quickly.
Overall: 5.6/10 - Much better than the previous two stories, but not by much, mainly from a not so strong plot and mediorc characterizations. There were times where characters were spot on (Cliff, Mirage), but when characters were off, they were off the mark, big time. You could give this story a whirl, but unless you are originally a fan of Albel/Sophia, you're not gonna be won over to this pairing with this fic.
