More FF7 fic
Oct. 11th, 2012 10:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogI am never going to find a fic that tops the first FF7 fic I put up, le QQ. I did find a few, but almost none of them are finished. It makes me QQ tears of blood.
This story is another crossover AU fic, and it's actually worse than the last one. I don't even know why I read it, especially since the ending just... comes out of nowhere and I feel bad, because the author admited that her irl issues were an influence on the fic. This was probably not the right way to go, in the characterization and the way the story flowed either.
Series: Final Fantasy 7 crossover (Kingdom Hearts)
Title: Sunday Afternoons
Author: lemon-sprinkles
Genre: Fluff/sap/humor/angst
Rating: MA
Warnings: Lemon, angst coming out of nowhere, too many characters
Couple (if applicable): Zack/Cloud and various other pairings
Plot: 5/10 - Like the fanfiction before it, it's another 'High School' AU fics. At first though, I was confused till I realized this game sort of takes place in the Kingdom Hearts universe, mostly, the town names from Kingdom Hearts are brought up. And Roxas is Cloud's little brother, don't ask me about that.
Basically, Cloud and his family move away and live in another neighborhood. Here, he meets Zack and things procede from there. The story is humorous in a lot of cases and it seemed to stay that way. Some of the humor is a bit over the top, but then again, it's not too bad.
Until the last 3 chapters where you find out that Zack randomly has Cancer and has like maybe a month to live. Seriously, I picked on a few hints, but for the story to go from having a lot of fluffy laughter moments into a serious angst issue does NOT fit the story at ALL.
Writing: 6/10 - The writing is okay for the most part. No real problems there. The only problem is the angst that comes out of nowhere.
Seriously, I do not mind angst at all. Lord knows how much angst I've written. But it has to be WELL WRITTEN angst that doesn't interrupt the flow of the story. This... isn't well written, it seems like it was added in at the last moment, and it disrupts what could've been a light-hearted humor fic.
Also, you do not have to kill characters to create angst. Some of the best written angst is the non-character death kind!
The real problem here though is the story starts off on a humor note and very light. And suddenly takes a 180 into angstland, which is never a real good thing to do unless the angst flows with the story. The angst here just interrupted the flow big time. I understand the intentions from the author's notes, but I don't think this was the best fanfic to do it with.
Characterization: 6/10 - Zack is, of course, in character. So is Aerith for the most part and luckly there's no real character bashing. Again, Cloud could use some work, he's too girly, as usual. The other few cast characters that make an appearance seem to be off a bit too. I can't comment on the KH characters and they don't really play a big role, but the ones I vaguely know are boarderline OOC.
I also don't think Zack would hide the fact that he has a serious Cancer that would definitely kill him from Cloud either. I know he's very cheerful, but to hide something serious from Cloud like that. There's also no real indication that he's sick either. I've had family members of mine die from Cancer, and a poor lady from my job developed cancer after she was transferred. She came back a few months later and I could tell her sickness got to her badly. A serious cancer that Zack has in this fic would NOT go unnoticed.
Negativities: OOCness, random drive-by angst
Summary: Cloud is upset after he moves away from the only town that he called home. But Fate can be a mysterious mistress...
Overall: 5.6/10 - The story would've been better if the drive-by angst was discluded from it. Even without the angst, it's not really a fic I'd recommend.
This story is another crossover AU fic, and it's actually worse than the last one. I don't even know why I read it, especially since the ending just... comes out of nowhere and I feel bad, because the author admited that her irl issues were an influence on the fic. This was probably not the right way to go, in the characterization and the way the story flowed either.
Series: Final Fantasy 7 crossover (Kingdom Hearts)
Title: Sunday Afternoons
Author: lemon-sprinkles
Genre: Fluff/sap/humor/angst
Rating: MA
Warnings: Lemon, angst coming out of nowhere, too many characters
Couple (if applicable): Zack/Cloud and various other pairings
Plot: 5/10 - Like the fanfiction before it, it's another 'High School' AU fics. At first though, I was confused till I realized this game sort of takes place in the Kingdom Hearts universe, mostly, the town names from Kingdom Hearts are brought up. And Roxas is Cloud's little brother, don't ask me about that.
Basically, Cloud and his family move away and live in another neighborhood. Here, he meets Zack and things procede from there. The story is humorous in a lot of cases and it seemed to stay that way. Some of the humor is a bit over the top, but then again, it's not too bad.
Until the last 3 chapters where you find out that Zack randomly has Cancer and has like maybe a month to live. Seriously, I picked on a few hints, but for the story to go from having a lot of fluffy laughter moments into a serious angst issue does NOT fit the story at ALL.
Writing: 6/10 - The writing is okay for the most part. No real problems there. The only problem is the angst that comes out of nowhere.
Seriously, I do not mind angst at all. Lord knows how much angst I've written. But it has to be WELL WRITTEN angst that doesn't interrupt the flow of the story. This... isn't well written, it seems like it was added in at the last moment, and it disrupts what could've been a light-hearted humor fic.
Also, you do not have to kill characters to create angst. Some of the best written angst is the non-character death kind!
The real problem here though is the story starts off on a humor note and very light. And suddenly takes a 180 into angstland, which is never a real good thing to do unless the angst flows with the story. The angst here just interrupted the flow big time. I understand the intentions from the author's notes, but I don't think this was the best fanfic to do it with.
Characterization: 6/10 - Zack is, of course, in character. So is Aerith for the most part and luckly there's no real character bashing. Again, Cloud could use some work, he's too girly, as usual. The other few cast characters that make an appearance seem to be off a bit too. I can't comment on the KH characters and they don't really play a big role, but the ones I vaguely know are boarderline OOC.
I also don't think Zack would hide the fact that he has a serious Cancer that would definitely kill him from Cloud either. I know he's very cheerful, but to hide something serious from Cloud like that. There's also no real indication that he's sick either. I've had family members of mine die from Cancer, and a poor lady from my job developed cancer after she was transferred. She came back a few months later and I could tell her sickness got to her badly. A serious cancer that Zack has in this fic would NOT go unnoticed.
Negativities: OOCness, random drive-by angst
Summary: Cloud is upset after he moves away from the only town that he called home. But Fate can be a mysterious mistress...
Overall: 5.6/10 - The story would've been better if the drive-by angst was discluded from it. Even without the angst, it's not really a fic I'd recommend.
