Redone version of Confession
May. 4th, 2004 01:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogTitle: Secret
Rating: PG-13?
Pairing: Original male/male pairing
Genre: Flangst
Warnings: None. @_@
Summary: Kay has always liked his best friend, Rand, in a much deeper way. But he's never told his naive friend that fact. However, sometimes, people aren't as naive as we think them to be.
Comments: This is a rewrite of Confession. I think this story is better than the original, because it explains the problem more clearly and it's more clean cut. A LOT of stuff is added in, and quite a bit was thrown out.
This story clocks in at... 6 pages in block format. Probably double the length in MLA format.
Few facts about this version:
1. I didn't change their names. I was adviced by my classmates to change their names, but I decided not to. Their names are fine the way they are, to me. And Kay is a unisex name, so I thought it fit him well. Rand is a normal name, NOT short for Randall, and I'm going to specifically tell my professor that in a write up.
2. The tone of the story and the character's personalities are the same. Kay is pretty average while Rand is mature and studious, although he has some flakey moments. :P Most of their personalities come through the dialogue scene on the beach instead of a paragraph on who they are.
3. I pretty much ditched most of the feedback I got on the story by my classmates, because some of the feedback was so freaking bizzare, that I felt it would detract from the story more than improve it. Like a guy doesn't have bangs (Which isn't true, my dad has a picture of the Moody Blues hanging up and two of the guys have bangs).
If you see any mistakes, let me know. This story isn't due for another two weeks, but I might as well finish it now.
Kay thought of himself as the typical junior college student. Nothing seemed to happen in his life that was exciting. He had gone through his high school life without any huge conflict or worries.
Sighing to himself as he leaned against the tree, he watched students mill and walk by him. Some of them occasionally looked at his direction. When a girl did, he winked his blue eyes at them, causing them to giggle as they mingled on their way.
He managed to pick up on a conversation of a few girls walking by him.
“Hey, did you hear? Kevin dumped Sara last night!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, apparently, it was for a freshman still in high school!”
“No way!”
“I’m not kidding! Sara has been up in her room for days, devastated about it! The poor dear…”
“Hah! But that’s nothing about the fight that happened out the dorm room yesterday. I heard a bunch of girls jumped Kera on the way to her room.”
“For what?”
“Apparently, she was sleeping around with a bunch of guys, and the girlfriends found out about it.”
“Hah, serves her right! But then, did you hear about…”
Kay rolled his eyes as the girls walked out of his hearing range. Some people's high school lives were like drama feasts, in Kay's opinion. When Kay heard the gossip around his high school and even his college, he felt like everyone purposely made himself or herself’ out to be drama kings and queens.
If there was one thing he hated, it was people who made total dramas out of what their lives were. Sure, life was harsh, but it wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be.
So perhaps his life may have seemed boring to onlookers, but as long as Kay was happy, the rest of the world could fuck off, for all he cared. And right now, in his life, Kay was fairly happy.
There was one thing that would make him happier…
“Hey, Kay!”
Kay looked up and saw his best friend and roommate, Rand Stanford, running toward him, a grin on his face.
“What’s up, Rand?”
Rand held up a thick green book. “I found this new book in the library.”
A laugh escaped Kay’s lips. Of course, leave it to Rand to be at the library on a weekend! “You practically live in the library, you know that?”
Smiling, Rand pushed his brown bangs from his green eyes. “I can’t help it, you know. I’ve loved reading since I was ten years old.”
They continued to walk to their dorm room, Rand talking about the contents of his new book while Kay listened. The entire time, Kay noticed that Rand had a small smile on his face, his eyes sparkling with inner emotion as he spoke so passionately about the simple book in his arm.
An ironic smile painted itself on Kay’s lips. Rand was always so passionate about things he liked. It was Rand’s nature to get so emotional over something so simple.
This included people, though, and sometimes, that wasn’t necessary a good thing.
This reminded Kay of an incident that happened less than a year ago, where a girl had told she had a crush on Rand and Rand had told her he wasn’t interested. The girl was hurt at the time and ended up running off without a word.
And for a while, Kay knew Rand was blaming and guilt tripping himself over it. Rand would hide it by indulging himself in his college studies; he took hard courses during that semester so he could overwork himself. After Kay had seen the dark circles under Rand’s eyes, he finally worked up the courage to tell him that over-working himself wouldn’t make things better. Rand had smiled and thanked Kay for being a good friend. After that, Rand had dropped one of his harder classes and when Kay noticed his friend smiling more, he knew things were okay.
There was something that bothered him. Kay did wonder why Rand had said he wasn’t interested to the girl, but he decided it wasn’t any of his business. He came to the conclusion that Rand was focusing more on his studies than on dating. Unlike himself, who tried to squeeze in as many dates as he could. But that was so he could forget…
“Hello? Kay, are you in there?”
A hand waved in front of his face snapped him out of his thoughts and Kay felt his cheeks flush from embarrassment. “Sorry. I was thinking about something.”
“What?”
Shaking his head, Kay answered, “It’s nothing. What were you saying?”
Rand’s eyes narrowed for only a second before he smiled again. “I asked if you wanted to go do something tonight. I have the night free and I finished all my homework last night.”
“I don’t understand how you finished your homework so quickly.”
“It’s so I don’t spend Sunday night going nuts over getting it done, unlike a certain someone…” Here, he coughed and looked at Kay.
“Don’t rub it in. So what do you want to do?”
“Well, I was thinking of going out to this restaurant that they just opened. I hear they serve just about anything, from pizza to cheeseburgers to shrimp platters.”
“Sounds good to me. What do you want to do after that?”
“Well…” Here, Rand turned his head away. “I was wondering if we could stop at the beach.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Well, because it’s supposed to be a beautiful night and I haven’t been down there yet.”
“Sounds more like you’re asking me on a date,” Kay teased, a grin on his face.
“Stupid, it’s not like that! If you don’t want to go, then just say so!”
The answer caught Kay by surprise. “Whoa, I was just kidding! I don’t mind going. It’s just… wouldn’t you rather go with a girl?”
“Why would I want to go down with a girl and not you?”
Kay sighed to himself. This was one of those times where Rand could be so oblivious to things. Like the time Sara had asked him to come to her dorm room for some ‘extra help’ while winking. Of course, Rand’s answer was that the library would be a more suitable place for ‘extra help’. Sara had said that the dorm room would provide more privacy and comfort for them. For a moment, Kay had thought Rand had caught on, but when Rand said he knew of a good spot in the library that would be away from the noise and chatter, Kay had given up on Rand.
Shaking his head, he looked up at the dorm housing and said, “Nothing. So when do you want to go?”
“In a couple of hours?”
“Sounds good to me.”
-
Time seemed to pass by rather quickly and before Kay knew it, it was a little past six o clock when Rand suggested that they head to the restaurant. It only took Kay five minutes to change his shirt, comb his hair, and grab his jacket. Rand was already ready at the door, a set of car keys in his hand.
They were silent as they walked to the parking lot and conversation was very light as they drove to the restaurant. Every time Kay tried to start a conversation, he got a one-worded response from Rand before the conversation seemed to die of its own accord.
Kay wondered if Rand was still upset over what he had said before. It wasn’t like him to be so silent and withdrawn, even if he was driving.
“Is something wrong?” Kay decided to ask as they pulled into the parking lot.
“Nothing is wrong,” Rand answered, a smile on his lips. “It’s just…”
“Just?”
“I’ll tell you later.” Kay blinked at the answer and cocked his head slightly as Rand parked the car in a nearby space. The smile vanished as Rand took the keys out of the ignition, his face blank. “I promise I will…”
Kay decided to say nothing as he watched his friend open the door to the car. Rand would tell him whatever he needed to in his own time.
When they entered the restaurant, Rand finally dropped the ‘semi-silent’ act and started talking openly again. Kay was relieved that his friend was acting normal once again. But still, as they were being seated, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with his friend.
The only thing he could do was chat back to his friend and pretend things were normal.
And wait…
-
By the time they finished their meal and drove down to the beach, the sun was already down and the stars were just coming out. Kicking a nearby rock aside, Kay watched his friend, who was staring out at the water, looking lost in thought.
“So…” Kay started to say as he picked up the nearby rock and threw it towards the water. He watched it skit across the surface. “What did you want to tell me?”
When no answer was forthcoming, Kay looked to his friend, whose eyes were closed now. “Do you remember what happened about ten months ago?”
Feeling a little confused, Kay tried to recall ten months prior. “Um…”
“You know. The incident with Jessica.”
“Yeah…” Kay found it a little ironic that not only a short time ago, he was thinking of said incident when he met his friend that afternoon. “And?”
“Well… Haven’t you ever wondered why I turned her down?”
Kay did find it a little strange, but he decided that it wasn’t any of his business, at the time. “Well, I did wonder about it a little, since you didn’t have a girlfriend and it’s not like you don’t have time for one either.”
“Do you want to know why I turned her down?” Kay knew Rand was going to tell him, whether he said yes or no, so he decided to remain silent and let his friend continue. “It’s because… I liked someone else.”
Kay could feel his heart leap in his throat as his mind seemed to come to it’s own conclusion. Why Rand invited him out to dinner, why he wanted to go to the beach afterwards, why he was going to tell him who he liked right…
“It’s Melaine.”
Kay felt himself snap back to reality at the sound of another name as he looked at his friend, who was now looking at him with a neutral expression. He blinked, thinking it was his imagination. “Who?”
“Melaine. She’s a girl in my class that I’ve liked for a long time now…”
Whatever words Rand were saying were lost on Kay as he felt himself sink to the ground. He should’ve known better than to stupidly let his hopes up. Besides that, how could Rand even possibly feel that way? They were both male, after all…
“Kay? Have you been listening to me?”
Nodding his head and trying to put on his best smile, he said, “Yeah, I have. So, when are you going to tell her?”
The smile was wiped from his face as Rand knelt down and looked Kay right in the eyes. “You haven’t been listening to a single word I’ve been saying.”
“What? I have! Melaine sounds like a nice girl.”
“Yeah, -if- she existed.”
Now Kay was totally confused. “What?”
“Stupid,” Rand said, shaking his head as he sat down. “There’s no girl named Melaine who goes to our school. If you actually listened to what I said, you would’ve heard me say that ‘too bad a girl like that doesn’t exist.’”
“What??” Kay felt his cheeks turn red. “Then why the fuck did you say you liked a girl named Melaine!?”
“Because I wanted to see your reaction to it.”
Kay knew right then, that he had been found out.
“I noticed how you’ve been acting lately and it all seemed to click together. Like when you refused to go out drinking with the guys across the hall when I said no. Or the time when there was a party being held down the block that you’ve been excited to go to and I ended up coming down with the flu, and you stayed at the dorm, because you wanted to make sure I ate something and took my medicine. And then there’s all the times where you would give in when I nagged you about studying for class and doing your homework…”
“All right, all right! I get the point!” Kay yelled, turning his face away. “I didn’t know I was that damn obvious.”
“Why?” Rand asked suddenly
“Why what?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Too many reasons.”
“Why? You’d think I would brush you off? Or call you a “fag”? Or I’d make fun of you? Or were you just afraid to tell me?”
“Probably all of the above and more. And I didn’t know if you were…”
“What?” Rand cocked his head and laughed. “So if I said I was attracted to you, all of a sudden, I become gay?”
“That’s what they usually call you if you’re attracted to your sex.”
“Stupid,” Rand said simply and looked out to the water. “Even if you were a woman, I would still like you the same. Your sex doesn’t change my feelings in the slightest.” He looked back to Kay. “If I was a woman, would that change your feelings?”
“No, I’d still care about you the same. So, I guess… that would make us bisexual?”
Laughing and shaking his head, Rand said, “If you want to put a label on that, I guess you could call us that.”
“It’s just…”
“What?”
“I don’t want people making fun of you.” Taking a deep breath, Kay continued, “I know how people are about relationships like this. Yeah, I know there are some people who don’t care either way, but there are some out there…”
“Kay,” Rand interrupted and looked directly into Kay’s eyes. “I really don’t give a shit what other people think. Honestly, it’s none of their business what goes on with our lives.
“If people want to put labels on us and make fun of us just because who we choose to love… Honestly, fuck them. If people are going to judge me based on whom I find attractive and whom I decide to spend my life with, they’re not worth my time. I care about you too much to give into the stupid prejudices that society makes.”
Kay stared at his friend for a long time at the end of the small speech. Oblivious, indeed. Rand could prove that he was a lot smarter than he led on to be.
However, there were things that still bothered Kay. “But what about your family?”
“I’ve discussed the possibility with them before I went into college. They told me basically that since it’s my life, it’s left up to me. They won’t interfere with what I choose. And they won’t disown me either over it.”
“But your future? What about…”
“Kay, seriously, you’re making this to be a bigger deal than it should!”
Frowning, Kay answered, “This sort of is a big deal, you know?”
“Sure, it’s not common, but really, I think you’re making a bigger deal out of it than it is.”
Kay was about to protest, but stopped as he thought about it. In a way, Rand was right; he was causing making this out to be a drama, something that he hated with a passion.
“I guess… I sort of am. It seems like you had everything planned out for a while.”
“Well… I’ve liked you since High School.”
Eyes widening, Kay said, “What!? Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner!?”
Flushing suddenly, Rand answered, “Because you were dating girls! I thought you were interested in girls!”
“Well, yeah, I was… But…”
“But?”
“To be honest, girls didn’t just… well, click with me. Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at girls and I still find them attractive. But I realized that date after date left me… well, unfulfilled. I felt empty, even when I dated Amber for months, it just didn’t…”
“I think I understand where you’re coming from.”
Nodding, Kay continued, “It’s… different with you. I mean, it wasn’t just one day I decided, ‘hey, I’m going to go gay!’ I just looked at you differently. I find you attractive, yeah, but there’s something else.
“I don’t want you to get hurt because it matters that much to me. I hated seeing you overworking yourself when you turned down Jessica. One reason I didn’t tell you how I felt was because I didn’t want to see you have family problems, that you have so much for yourself.”
Smiling, Rand said, “That’s how people feel when they’re in love.”
When Rand nodded, Kay asked, “So… what now?”
“I… don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship before. You were the one who was dating in high school.”
“Not with a guy, though.”
Rolling his eyes, Rand stood up, brushing the sand off his pants. “Why don’t we just take it one step at a time and see what happens?”
“Sure, we can do that,” Kay answered, standing up as well. He knew a relationship between Rand and him was going to be hard to maintain. He thought back to what Rand had said earlier and smiled to himself. Even after knowing that fact, he was still willing to give it a try.
While they were walking back to the car, Rand had to ask, “So, since we’re a couple now, should I expect candy hearts and flowers?”
“Shut up.”
Rating: PG-13?
Pairing: Original male/male pairing
Genre: Flangst
Warnings: None. @_@
Summary: Kay has always liked his best friend, Rand, in a much deeper way. But he's never told his naive friend that fact. However, sometimes, people aren't as naive as we think them to be.
Comments: This is a rewrite of Confession. I think this story is better than the original, because it explains the problem more clearly and it's more clean cut. A LOT of stuff is added in, and quite a bit was thrown out.
This story clocks in at... 6 pages in block format. Probably double the length in MLA format.
Few facts about this version:
1. I didn't change their names. I was adviced by my classmates to change their names, but I decided not to. Their names are fine the way they are, to me. And Kay is a unisex name, so I thought it fit him well. Rand is a normal name, NOT short for Randall, and I'm going to specifically tell my professor that in a write up.
2. The tone of the story and the character's personalities are the same. Kay is pretty average while Rand is mature and studious, although he has some flakey moments. :P Most of their personalities come through the dialogue scene on the beach instead of a paragraph on who they are.
3. I pretty much ditched most of the feedback I got on the story by my classmates, because some of the feedback was so freaking bizzare, that I felt it would detract from the story more than improve it. Like a guy doesn't have bangs (Which isn't true, my dad has a picture of the Moody Blues hanging up and two of the guys have bangs).
If you see any mistakes, let me know. This story isn't due for another two weeks, but I might as well finish it now.
Kay thought of himself as the typical junior college student. Nothing seemed to happen in his life that was exciting. He had gone through his high school life without any huge conflict or worries.
Sighing to himself as he leaned against the tree, he watched students mill and walk by him. Some of them occasionally looked at his direction. When a girl did, he winked his blue eyes at them, causing them to giggle as they mingled on their way.
He managed to pick up on a conversation of a few girls walking by him.
“Hey, did you hear? Kevin dumped Sara last night!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, apparently, it was for a freshman still in high school!”
“No way!”
“I’m not kidding! Sara has been up in her room for days, devastated about it! The poor dear…”
“Hah! But that’s nothing about the fight that happened out the dorm room yesterday. I heard a bunch of girls jumped Kera on the way to her room.”
“For what?”
“Apparently, she was sleeping around with a bunch of guys, and the girlfriends found out about it.”
“Hah, serves her right! But then, did you hear about…”
Kay rolled his eyes as the girls walked out of his hearing range. Some people's high school lives were like drama feasts, in Kay's opinion. When Kay heard the gossip around his high school and even his college, he felt like everyone purposely made himself or herself’ out to be drama kings and queens.
If there was one thing he hated, it was people who made total dramas out of what their lives were. Sure, life was harsh, but it wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be.
So perhaps his life may have seemed boring to onlookers, but as long as Kay was happy, the rest of the world could fuck off, for all he cared. And right now, in his life, Kay was fairly happy.
There was one thing that would make him happier…
“Hey, Kay!”
Kay looked up and saw his best friend and roommate, Rand Stanford, running toward him, a grin on his face.
“What’s up, Rand?”
Rand held up a thick green book. “I found this new book in the library.”
A laugh escaped Kay’s lips. Of course, leave it to Rand to be at the library on a weekend! “You practically live in the library, you know that?”
Smiling, Rand pushed his brown bangs from his green eyes. “I can’t help it, you know. I’ve loved reading since I was ten years old.”
They continued to walk to their dorm room, Rand talking about the contents of his new book while Kay listened. The entire time, Kay noticed that Rand had a small smile on his face, his eyes sparkling with inner emotion as he spoke so passionately about the simple book in his arm.
An ironic smile painted itself on Kay’s lips. Rand was always so passionate about things he liked. It was Rand’s nature to get so emotional over something so simple.
This included people, though, and sometimes, that wasn’t necessary a good thing.
This reminded Kay of an incident that happened less than a year ago, where a girl had told she had a crush on Rand and Rand had told her he wasn’t interested. The girl was hurt at the time and ended up running off without a word.
And for a while, Kay knew Rand was blaming and guilt tripping himself over it. Rand would hide it by indulging himself in his college studies; he took hard courses during that semester so he could overwork himself. After Kay had seen the dark circles under Rand’s eyes, he finally worked up the courage to tell him that over-working himself wouldn’t make things better. Rand had smiled and thanked Kay for being a good friend. After that, Rand had dropped one of his harder classes and when Kay noticed his friend smiling more, he knew things were okay.
There was something that bothered him. Kay did wonder why Rand had said he wasn’t interested to the girl, but he decided it wasn’t any of his business. He came to the conclusion that Rand was focusing more on his studies than on dating. Unlike himself, who tried to squeeze in as many dates as he could. But that was so he could forget…
“Hello? Kay, are you in there?”
A hand waved in front of his face snapped him out of his thoughts and Kay felt his cheeks flush from embarrassment. “Sorry. I was thinking about something.”
“What?”
Shaking his head, Kay answered, “It’s nothing. What were you saying?”
Rand’s eyes narrowed for only a second before he smiled again. “I asked if you wanted to go do something tonight. I have the night free and I finished all my homework last night.”
“I don’t understand how you finished your homework so quickly.”
“It’s so I don’t spend Sunday night going nuts over getting it done, unlike a certain someone…” Here, he coughed and looked at Kay.
“Don’t rub it in. So what do you want to do?”
“Well, I was thinking of going out to this restaurant that they just opened. I hear they serve just about anything, from pizza to cheeseburgers to shrimp platters.”
“Sounds good to me. What do you want to do after that?”
“Well…” Here, Rand turned his head away. “I was wondering if we could stop at the beach.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Well, because it’s supposed to be a beautiful night and I haven’t been down there yet.”
“Sounds more like you’re asking me on a date,” Kay teased, a grin on his face.
“Stupid, it’s not like that! If you don’t want to go, then just say so!”
The answer caught Kay by surprise. “Whoa, I was just kidding! I don’t mind going. It’s just… wouldn’t you rather go with a girl?”
“Why would I want to go down with a girl and not you?”
Kay sighed to himself. This was one of those times where Rand could be so oblivious to things. Like the time Sara had asked him to come to her dorm room for some ‘extra help’ while winking. Of course, Rand’s answer was that the library would be a more suitable place for ‘extra help’. Sara had said that the dorm room would provide more privacy and comfort for them. For a moment, Kay had thought Rand had caught on, but when Rand said he knew of a good spot in the library that would be away from the noise and chatter, Kay had given up on Rand.
Shaking his head, he looked up at the dorm housing and said, “Nothing. So when do you want to go?”
“In a couple of hours?”
“Sounds good to me.”
-
Time seemed to pass by rather quickly and before Kay knew it, it was a little past six o clock when Rand suggested that they head to the restaurant. It only took Kay five minutes to change his shirt, comb his hair, and grab his jacket. Rand was already ready at the door, a set of car keys in his hand.
They were silent as they walked to the parking lot and conversation was very light as they drove to the restaurant. Every time Kay tried to start a conversation, he got a one-worded response from Rand before the conversation seemed to die of its own accord.
Kay wondered if Rand was still upset over what he had said before. It wasn’t like him to be so silent and withdrawn, even if he was driving.
“Is something wrong?” Kay decided to ask as they pulled into the parking lot.
“Nothing is wrong,” Rand answered, a smile on his lips. “It’s just…”
“Just?”
“I’ll tell you later.” Kay blinked at the answer and cocked his head slightly as Rand parked the car in a nearby space. The smile vanished as Rand took the keys out of the ignition, his face blank. “I promise I will…”
Kay decided to say nothing as he watched his friend open the door to the car. Rand would tell him whatever he needed to in his own time.
When they entered the restaurant, Rand finally dropped the ‘semi-silent’ act and started talking openly again. Kay was relieved that his friend was acting normal once again. But still, as they were being seated, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with his friend.
The only thing he could do was chat back to his friend and pretend things were normal.
And wait…
-
By the time they finished their meal and drove down to the beach, the sun was already down and the stars were just coming out. Kicking a nearby rock aside, Kay watched his friend, who was staring out at the water, looking lost in thought.
“So…” Kay started to say as he picked up the nearby rock and threw it towards the water. He watched it skit across the surface. “What did you want to tell me?”
When no answer was forthcoming, Kay looked to his friend, whose eyes were closed now. “Do you remember what happened about ten months ago?”
Feeling a little confused, Kay tried to recall ten months prior. “Um…”
“You know. The incident with Jessica.”
“Yeah…” Kay found it a little ironic that not only a short time ago, he was thinking of said incident when he met his friend that afternoon. “And?”
“Well… Haven’t you ever wondered why I turned her down?”
Kay did find it a little strange, but he decided that it wasn’t any of his business, at the time. “Well, I did wonder about it a little, since you didn’t have a girlfriend and it’s not like you don’t have time for one either.”
“Do you want to know why I turned her down?” Kay knew Rand was going to tell him, whether he said yes or no, so he decided to remain silent and let his friend continue. “It’s because… I liked someone else.”
Kay could feel his heart leap in his throat as his mind seemed to come to it’s own conclusion. Why Rand invited him out to dinner, why he wanted to go to the beach afterwards, why he was going to tell him who he liked right…
“It’s Melaine.”
Kay felt himself snap back to reality at the sound of another name as he looked at his friend, who was now looking at him with a neutral expression. He blinked, thinking it was his imagination. “Who?”
“Melaine. She’s a girl in my class that I’ve liked for a long time now…”
Whatever words Rand were saying were lost on Kay as he felt himself sink to the ground. He should’ve known better than to stupidly let his hopes up. Besides that, how could Rand even possibly feel that way? They were both male, after all…
“Kay? Have you been listening to me?”
Nodding his head and trying to put on his best smile, he said, “Yeah, I have. So, when are you going to tell her?”
The smile was wiped from his face as Rand knelt down and looked Kay right in the eyes. “You haven’t been listening to a single word I’ve been saying.”
“What? I have! Melaine sounds like a nice girl.”
“Yeah, -if- she existed.”
Now Kay was totally confused. “What?”
“Stupid,” Rand said, shaking his head as he sat down. “There’s no girl named Melaine who goes to our school. If you actually listened to what I said, you would’ve heard me say that ‘too bad a girl like that doesn’t exist.’”
“What??” Kay felt his cheeks turn red. “Then why the fuck did you say you liked a girl named Melaine!?”
“Because I wanted to see your reaction to it.”
Kay knew right then, that he had been found out.
“I noticed how you’ve been acting lately and it all seemed to click together. Like when you refused to go out drinking with the guys across the hall when I said no. Or the time when there was a party being held down the block that you’ve been excited to go to and I ended up coming down with the flu, and you stayed at the dorm, because you wanted to make sure I ate something and took my medicine. And then there’s all the times where you would give in when I nagged you about studying for class and doing your homework…”
“All right, all right! I get the point!” Kay yelled, turning his face away. “I didn’t know I was that damn obvious.”
“Why?” Rand asked suddenly
“Why what?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Too many reasons.”
“Why? You’d think I would brush you off? Or call you a “fag”? Or I’d make fun of you? Or were you just afraid to tell me?”
“Probably all of the above and more. And I didn’t know if you were…”
“What?” Rand cocked his head and laughed. “So if I said I was attracted to you, all of a sudden, I become gay?”
“That’s what they usually call you if you’re attracted to your sex.”
“Stupid,” Rand said simply and looked out to the water. “Even if you were a woman, I would still like you the same. Your sex doesn’t change my feelings in the slightest.” He looked back to Kay. “If I was a woman, would that change your feelings?”
“No, I’d still care about you the same. So, I guess… that would make us bisexual?”
Laughing and shaking his head, Rand said, “If you want to put a label on that, I guess you could call us that.”
“It’s just…”
“What?”
“I don’t want people making fun of you.” Taking a deep breath, Kay continued, “I know how people are about relationships like this. Yeah, I know there are some people who don’t care either way, but there are some out there…”
“Kay,” Rand interrupted and looked directly into Kay’s eyes. “I really don’t give a shit what other people think. Honestly, it’s none of their business what goes on with our lives.
“If people want to put labels on us and make fun of us just because who we choose to love… Honestly, fuck them. If people are going to judge me based on whom I find attractive and whom I decide to spend my life with, they’re not worth my time. I care about you too much to give into the stupid prejudices that society makes.”
Kay stared at his friend for a long time at the end of the small speech. Oblivious, indeed. Rand could prove that he was a lot smarter than he led on to be.
However, there were things that still bothered Kay. “But what about your family?”
“I’ve discussed the possibility with them before I went into college. They told me basically that since it’s my life, it’s left up to me. They won’t interfere with what I choose. And they won’t disown me either over it.”
“But your future? What about…”
“Kay, seriously, you’re making this to be a bigger deal than it should!”
Frowning, Kay answered, “This sort of is a big deal, you know?”
“Sure, it’s not common, but really, I think you’re making a bigger deal out of it than it is.”
Kay was about to protest, but stopped as he thought about it. In a way, Rand was right; he was causing making this out to be a drama, something that he hated with a passion.
“I guess… I sort of am. It seems like you had everything planned out for a while.”
“Well… I’ve liked you since High School.”
Eyes widening, Kay said, “What!? Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner!?”
Flushing suddenly, Rand answered, “Because you were dating girls! I thought you were interested in girls!”
“Well, yeah, I was… But…”
“But?”
“To be honest, girls didn’t just… well, click with me. Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at girls and I still find them attractive. But I realized that date after date left me… well, unfulfilled. I felt empty, even when I dated Amber for months, it just didn’t…”
“I think I understand where you’re coming from.”
Nodding, Kay continued, “It’s… different with you. I mean, it wasn’t just one day I decided, ‘hey, I’m going to go gay!’ I just looked at you differently. I find you attractive, yeah, but there’s something else.
“I don’t want you to get hurt because it matters that much to me. I hated seeing you overworking yourself when you turned down Jessica. One reason I didn’t tell you how I felt was because I didn’t want to see you have family problems, that you have so much for yourself.”
Smiling, Rand said, “That’s how people feel when they’re in love.”
When Rand nodded, Kay asked, “So… what now?”
“I… don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship before. You were the one who was dating in high school.”
“Not with a guy, though.”
Rolling his eyes, Rand stood up, brushing the sand off his pants. “Why don’t we just take it one step at a time and see what happens?”
“Sure, we can do that,” Kay answered, standing up as well. He knew a relationship between Rand and him was going to be hard to maintain. He thought back to what Rand had said earlier and smiled to himself. Even after knowing that fact, he was still willing to give it a try.
While they were walking back to the car, Rand had to ask, “So, since we’re a couple now, should I expect candy hearts and flowers?”
“Shut up.”
