Yami fic, Letting Go

[starzafandomblog]

Title: Letting go
Rating: PG - PG-13
Pairing: It would ruin the story if I said so. ~_^
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Um, none.
Summary: It's hard letting go of the person you love...
Comments: Don't let the summary fool you. I got this idea a few nights ago, although I shouldn't be writing this when I'm sick and half brain-dead. O_o

Yes, Starza is on a mini one-shot spree. O_o


It took all of my willpower to smile and say "Congratulations" to the both of you when you made the announcement. Most people around gave theirs as well, but their smiles were heartfelt. They were actually happy for you.

Me, on the other hand...

I knew it would eventually come to this. I noticed the looks around the corner, the sudden "disappearances" and the "excuses" you seemed to make as of late. I'm not stupid...

Or maybe I am for not catching on sooner.

I should've said something to you. Should've told you how I felt. There were plenty of times for me to tell you, but I always chickened out at the last minute. I wanted you to tell me how you felt before I told you. I was always waiting and hoping for that moment...

And now, it's gone forever...

Besides that, I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.

Don't think I didn't know what you tried to hide. I knew for a long time that you were unhappy. We've known each other for a while, although it seems so short.

But I guess I didn't know enough about you. Those eyes, when they looked at me, I always thought that they were for me. Now I know whom they were really for...

You go on about something about me being okay. I wipe away the tear and say it's a tear of happiness. You continue to look at me, as if you wanted to say something, but decide against it. You go on about inviting me over sometime for tea and dinner, as if nothing has ever happened. Wanting to go back to normal between us.

But it can't. I see how couples are when they have someone "stuck in the middle". They try very hard to make their friend feel comfortable, but in the end, the couple slowly fades away from their friend, wanting to focus on their relationship and wanting to spend more time together and do other things that they can't do with their friend. Although a part of me would say "yes" if you asked me to join in with those other things. I wouldn't mind sharing...

No. You would never ask me or even think about doing something like that. It's not like you to do something like that. And besides, I have no idea how you would react. Would you get angry at me for even thinking of that? Would you get disgusted and decide not to be my friend anymore?

I turn down your dinner invite, saying that I'll be fine. Your eyes tell me that you don't believe me, but you nod your head anyways. You're not the type to snoop in other's affairs.

I sigh as you walk down the hallway, hand in hand. Reminder of what I have lost...

I say to everyone that I'm going to take the rest of the day off and before there are any protests from my co-workers or weird looks, I find myself in my apartment. Sometimes, I'm glad that Shinigami can teleport instantly to other locations.

Here, at home, I don't have to hold back my tears. Here, at home, I don't have to hide, and I don't. I feel myself collapsing to the bed, crying into my pillow.

But no matter how hurt I am, it's important that they'll be happy. That's what I keep telling myself, and that's what will have to hold me through...

Tatsumi... Hisoka... I pray that you will be happy together.




Fooled anyone? :P Incase you were wondering, the person speaking is Tsuzuki. >.> Who is Tsuzuki referring to? Actually... I decided to leave that up for interpertation. ^_^