Fanfiction review, be warned. >.>
May. 23rd, 2003 04:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogSeries: Final Fantasy 6
Title: How Love Works
Author: Yasha Clstmk213
Genre: Drama/Action/Adventure/Romance
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Couple (if applicable): Locke and OC
Plot: 1/10 - Er, Christine, the OC, gets kidnapped and Lock (She uses the japanese names) has to save her. Simple and to the point, right? Is there a point to this story... Well no. Who is Christine? She just randomly appears, we have no background info on her either. Where's Celes too? The fandom couple tends to be either Locke/Terra or Locke/Celes. @_@ Who is this Kuja the Terra, how did he end up in here? Who's Garnet!? From FF9? Who's Abigail??? Too many questions that the author doesn't go into... She expects us, the readers, to think of the backstory for her.
BIG no no. We expect the author to give us the beef of the story, not let the readers do it for them. ~_~ The reason why this doesn't get a 0 is because it has SOME sort of point, just not much of a point. It has bare bone minimum.
Writing: 1/10 - Okay, the writing is like... a 7-8 year's old. It's too simple, there's not enough description, period. I didn't give it a 0, because I've seen WORSE. The story isn't formatted right, it's confusing, spelling and grammar are off, there's a Mary Sue, she adds in random references to FF9 (Like Kuja randomly ends up in this story), Celes is absent in this story... Geez, about everything you want wrong in a FF6 fic...
It doesn't get a 0 because it IS readable, but that's about it.
Characterization: 0/10 - None of the characters in this story are in character, of what I KNOW of. Locke just has this random girlfriend that there's absolutely NO background info on. I can't even tell who's WHO. I know Mash is Sabin and all, but... I can't regonize anyone. Period.
It gets a 0 because the characters I DO regonize are OOC. Why would Locke get involved with some strange girl?? Even if you ignore Celes and Terra, the author forgets cannon couple of Locke/Racheal and we all know how crazy he got over her death. ~_~;;; He wouldn't get into a relationship so easily.
Negativities: Um, see above. You could slap other names on this story and not know the difference. You honestly could. Actually, if you don't know the japanese names and feign ingorance on mogs, you couldn't tell this was a FF story.
Summary: Like I said, Locke finds his girlfriend got kidnapped and goes off to rescue her. It's as simple as you can get, the writing is VERY simple too. Easy to read but it looks like a pre-schooler wrote this. ~_~ And it's BAD, not because of the writing, but the overall confusing plot and such.
Overall - .6/10 - Just stay away from this fic. The author claims that she 'gave us imagination' when I told her she needs to go into more detail. She said she added in more description than from the 'original', so I don't even WANT to know what the original looks like. When I said use the english names, she basically blows me off.
I hope she takes the advice I gave her and the other one who reviewed. Btw, she doesn't take annoymous because 'they are too lazy to sign up, I don't want "lazy people" to read the story I wrote that took long time to do it. (I didn't mean that they are really lazy people though) That's why I only accept signed reviews.' Contradicting herself. How does she expect to get reviews then if she won't take all reviews????
This story needs a overhaul and a beta reader desperately. ~_~;;;
Title: How Love Works
Author: Yasha Clstmk213
Genre: Drama/Action/Adventure/Romance
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Couple (if applicable): Locke and OC
Plot: 1/10 - Er, Christine, the OC, gets kidnapped and Lock (She uses the japanese names) has to save her. Simple and to the point, right? Is there a point to this story... Well no. Who is Christine? She just randomly appears, we have no background info on her either. Where's Celes too? The fandom couple tends to be either Locke/Terra or Locke/Celes. @_@ Who is this Kuja the Terra, how did he end up in here? Who's Garnet!? From FF9? Who's Abigail??? Too many questions that the author doesn't go into... She expects us, the readers, to think of the backstory for her.
BIG no no. We expect the author to give us the beef of the story, not let the readers do it for them. ~_~ The reason why this doesn't get a 0 is because it has SOME sort of point, just not much of a point. It has bare bone minimum.
Writing: 1/10 - Okay, the writing is like... a 7-8 year's old. It's too simple, there's not enough description, period. I didn't give it a 0, because I've seen WORSE. The story isn't formatted right, it's confusing, spelling and grammar are off, there's a Mary Sue, she adds in random references to FF9 (Like Kuja randomly ends up in this story), Celes is absent in this story... Geez, about everything you want wrong in a FF6 fic...
It doesn't get a 0 because it IS readable, but that's about it.
Characterization: 0/10 - None of the characters in this story are in character, of what I KNOW of. Locke just has this random girlfriend that there's absolutely NO background info on. I can't even tell who's WHO. I know Mash is Sabin and all, but... I can't regonize anyone. Period.
It gets a 0 because the characters I DO regonize are OOC. Why would Locke get involved with some strange girl?? Even if you ignore Celes and Terra, the author forgets cannon couple of Locke/Racheal and we all know how crazy he got over her death. ~_~;;; He wouldn't get into a relationship so easily.
Negativities: Um, see above. You could slap other names on this story and not know the difference. You honestly could. Actually, if you don't know the japanese names and feign ingorance on mogs, you couldn't tell this was a FF story.
Summary: Like I said, Locke finds his girlfriend got kidnapped and goes off to rescue her. It's as simple as you can get, the writing is VERY simple too. Easy to read but it looks like a pre-schooler wrote this. ~_~ And it's BAD, not because of the writing, but the overall confusing plot and such.
Overall - .6/10 - Just stay away from this fic. The author claims that she 'gave us imagination' when I told her she needs to go into more detail. She said she added in more description than from the 'original', so I don't even WANT to know what the original looks like. When I said use the english names, she basically blows me off.
I hope she takes the advice I gave her and the other one who reviewed. Btw, she doesn't take annoymous because 'they are too lazy to sign up, I don't want "lazy people" to read the story I wrote that took long time to do it. (I didn't mean that they are really lazy people though) That's why I only accept signed reviews.' Contradicting herself. How does she expect to get reviews then if she won't take all reviews????
This story needs a overhaul and a beta reader desperately. ~_~;;;
