Going back to the past~! YnM fanfic!
Mar. 23rd, 2009 12:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I was rereading old entries in my LJ and decided to touch on some fics that I wanted to review but with a less 'fanpoodle' mind and more of a 'neutral' mind. The fact that I picked YnM fic after I swore off the series is... wtf am I thinking!?
If you read my Zelda review, Sehnsucht, I said at one point, I loved said fic, but years later, I was like 'wtf was I thinking!?' I was also visited by the author randomly too. :X I kinda hope he's working on something because his writing was really well done, but his melodrama story failed.
Well, this fic sadly falls into that category. And the funny thing is that I reviewed it years ago with gushing praise, only years later, I should've really known better. For the record, yes, I reviewed this author before. Yes, I know she's popular, but really, her characterizations for both X/1999 and YnM fics are a big mixed bag.
This series is a trilogy that I'll eventually cover in three seperate reviews.
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Title: Live Through
Author: Kouri Arashi
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, NCS, wangst
Couple (if applicable): Tsuzuki/Hisoka, slight Tatsumi+Tsuzuki
Plot: 8/10 - You know, I skipped this story for a long time in the past because of it's summary. I really hate saying it, but a summary is what draws a reader in, not your name. Sometimes, you can't sum up everything but I seriously think you can say more than 'My summaries suck, just read'.
Basically, the story is Hisoka trying to sort out his issues about himself, his feelings for Tsuzuki, and Muraki while trying to deal with his 'afterlife'. Add in a lot of emo shit (Hell, a lot of it crosses into melodrama, but we'll save that for later) plus a pretty well thought out plot, whacky dreams, and you got this story.
If it wasn't for the overly dramatic moments that are constantly displayed in the story, it'd actually be a really good read.
The only real striking problems are:
1. Emo!Hisoka + Emo!Tsuzuki = PAIN!
2. An OC that only really serves to bring Tsuzuki and Hisoka together. Basically, he's just there for filler and to keep the plot going.
But overall, it's interesting enough to keep you reading.
Writing: 7/10 - Fanpoodle japanese really needs to die in a fire. But I guess I can be somewhat okay since it's old. But STILL, you can EASILY translate stuff like 'Baka' and 'Sugoi' into perfect english.
It's not cool, it's not going to make you cool, it's distracting, especially to someone who may not watch a lot of subbed anime. Then they have to either pick it up by context or go look it up.
If it's prefixes or words like 'Senpai', that's different, since they don't translate well. But when you leave in OBVIOUS words, there's so much rage in me that I can take...
When you're writing a story in english, WRITE IT IN ENGLISH!
Other than the littered fanpoodle japanese at the beginning (Which is gone in the middle of the story, thank god, but picks up again near the end, urgh), the story is well written. It's First Person, but it really adds to the story. Although, the run on sentences may make you go crazy and there's so many of them that you may end up screaming at Hisoka. However, it really adds to the atmosphere more than it takes away.
Characterization: 4/10 - Okay, let the word be known: 'Muraki is not a one-dimensional villian, for the love of cheese!' This is a big problem in nearly every single Tsuzuki/Hisoka stories that I've read, and it's no exception to this one. This isn't so bad in the first story since Muraki doesn't really appear in this story much. But the same, 'Muraki wants to fuck with Tsuzuki and Hisoka' plots are really old by now that you've seen them all. The saving grace is that the plot-twist used is unique to this story.
The problem isn't even the OC, who is somewhat interesting and I was loving his snark through the story. The only problem with him is that he doesn't serve much of a purpose at least in this part of the story.
The big problem is Tsuzuki AND Hisoka are turned into big piles of freaking angst monkey balls. And this is REALLY a first story where both are so emo to the point where I want to shoot both of them.
It's like what strength they had up to this point flew out the window and went flush down zee hole. Yeah, it's post Kyoto Arc on the anime timeline, yes, they went through a lot, but it's like they became angst munchers that you really want to stab both of them in the face.
You know, I love my seme!Hisoka. Hell, I like it when Hisoka isn't displayed as a whiny little wussball, and while the author tries to avoid 'uke!Hisoka' that's oh so common in YnM fics, the problem is that he just angsts and wangsts and emos some more to the point where you want to scream.
The one thing I do like is his snarky attitude. He can be a bit bold at times, but overall, the snark is okay. The emo points just are... argh...
The only problem is that I really can't blame him somewhat, cause if I was stuck in a state of not knowing when you're dreaming and when you're awake, it can get really frustrating. But the way he openly emos to Tsuzuki, I really cannot see him doing, simply because Hisoka is probably a more closed person than Tsuzuki.
And Tsuzuki... Wow. I mean, he has his reasons to be emo, there were some times where he was emo even in the anime and manga, but man, it's taken to total different levels here. Would Tsuzuki have a tough time copping with what happened at the end of the Kyoto Arc? Hell yes! Would it be bad enough to take him out of the field for months? I highly doubt it, because Tsuzuki can show that he can be incrediably powerful at times, and I do mean this emotionally.
Tsuzuki is an emotionally delicate person, but he's not made of glass. He's very complex, and I still believe that if anyone confesses anything, it'll be Tsuzuki first, not Hisoka. Is it possible for Hisoka to say so first? Yeah, but so far, I haven't seen this written well enough to my satisfaction.
I mean, it's really bad. You seriously want to clunk their heads together and call the waahbulance on their asses. I mean, I like my angst obviously, but the problem is if you focus way too much on angst, the angst becomes melodramatic and it's just so frustrating after a while to even the point where you say, 'Is this really how they would be if this happened?'
Akimya, like I said before, is only there to serve as a bridge and an obstacle to Hisoka. A bridge, because he's constantly getting involved between Tsuzuki and Hisoka. Which is a blessing because it cuts the emo moments. But also a curse because he only seems to serve this purpose.
He's also an obstacle, because he temporary becomes Hisoka's partner until Tsuzuki is 'ready' for field work again. As you can tell, that whole scenario is asking to explode on it's own. It does look like that, but it works out after a bit.
Tatsumi and Watari make brief appearances and for the most part, are IC. I did love the smackdown that Tatsumi laid on Hisoka near the end, because if anyone is going to be the sense of reason in this story, it'd be Tatsumi.
Negativities: Melodramatic Tsuzuki and Hisoka, littered fanpoodle japanese, emo after emo, boo-hoo sobs
Summary: Post Kyoto Arc, Hisoka has to overcome his feelings on his after life and his feelings for Tsuzuki. The path is anything but easy, especially when a certain psychic doctor is around the corner...
Overall: 6.3/10 - Despite the wangst and melodrama, it's still worth a reading because the plot and writing save it. If you like melodramatic angst, this would be the story to read. As for me, I think I'll pass on a third reading...
If you read my Zelda review, Sehnsucht, I said at one point, I loved said fic, but years later, I was like 'wtf was I thinking!?' I was also visited by the author randomly too. :X I kinda hope he's working on something because his writing was really well done, but his melodrama story failed.
Well, this fic sadly falls into that category. And the funny thing is that I reviewed it years ago with gushing praise, only years later, I should've really known better. For the record, yes, I reviewed this author before. Yes, I know she's popular, but really, her characterizations for both X/1999 and YnM fics are a big mixed bag.
This series is a trilogy that I'll eventually cover in three seperate reviews.
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Title: Live Through
Author: Kouri Arashi
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, NCS, wangst
Couple (if applicable): Tsuzuki/Hisoka, slight Tatsumi+Tsuzuki
Plot: 8/10 - You know, I skipped this story for a long time in the past because of it's summary. I really hate saying it, but a summary is what draws a reader in, not your name. Sometimes, you can't sum up everything but I seriously think you can say more than 'My summaries suck, just read'.
Basically, the story is Hisoka trying to sort out his issues about himself, his feelings for Tsuzuki, and Muraki while trying to deal with his 'afterlife'. Add in a lot of emo shit (Hell, a lot of it crosses into melodrama, but we'll save that for later) plus a pretty well thought out plot, whacky dreams, and you got this story.
If it wasn't for the overly dramatic moments that are constantly displayed in the story, it'd actually be a really good read.
The only real striking problems are:
1. Emo!Hisoka + Emo!Tsuzuki = PAIN!
2. An OC that only really serves to bring Tsuzuki and Hisoka together. Basically, he's just there for filler and to keep the plot going.
But overall, it's interesting enough to keep you reading.
Writing: 7/10 - Fanpoodle japanese really needs to die in a fire. But I guess I can be somewhat okay since it's old. But STILL, you can EASILY translate stuff like 'Baka' and 'Sugoi' into perfect english.
It's not cool, it's not going to make you cool, it's distracting, especially to someone who may not watch a lot of subbed anime. Then they have to either pick it up by context or go look it up.
If it's prefixes or words like 'Senpai', that's different, since they don't translate well. But when you leave in OBVIOUS words, there's so much rage in me that I can take...
When you're writing a story in english, WRITE IT IN ENGLISH!
Other than the littered fanpoodle japanese at the beginning (Which is gone in the middle of the story, thank god, but picks up again near the end, urgh), the story is well written. It's First Person, but it really adds to the story. Although, the run on sentences may make you go crazy and there's so many of them that you may end up screaming at Hisoka. However, it really adds to the atmosphere more than it takes away.
Characterization: 4/10 - Okay, let the word be known: 'Muraki is not a one-dimensional villian, for the love of cheese!' This is a big problem in nearly every single Tsuzuki/Hisoka stories that I've read, and it's no exception to this one. This isn't so bad in the first story since Muraki doesn't really appear in this story much. But the same, 'Muraki wants to fuck with Tsuzuki and Hisoka' plots are really old by now that you've seen them all. The saving grace is that the plot-twist used is unique to this story.
The problem isn't even the OC, who is somewhat interesting and I was loving his snark through the story. The only problem with him is that he doesn't serve much of a purpose at least in this part of the story.
The big problem is Tsuzuki AND Hisoka are turned into big piles of freaking angst monkey balls. And this is REALLY a first story where both are so emo to the point where I want to shoot both of them.
It's like what strength they had up to this point flew out the window and went flush down zee hole. Yeah, it's post Kyoto Arc on the anime timeline, yes, they went through a lot, but it's like they became angst munchers that you really want to stab both of them in the face.
You know, I love my seme!Hisoka. Hell, I like it when Hisoka isn't displayed as a whiny little wussball, and while the author tries to avoid 'uke!Hisoka' that's oh so common in YnM fics, the problem is that he just angsts and wangsts and emos some more to the point where you want to scream.
The one thing I do like is his snarky attitude. He can be a bit bold at times, but overall, the snark is okay. The emo points just are... argh...
The only problem is that I really can't blame him somewhat, cause if I was stuck in a state of not knowing when you're dreaming and when you're awake, it can get really frustrating. But the way he openly emos to Tsuzuki, I really cannot see him doing, simply because Hisoka is probably a more closed person than Tsuzuki.
And Tsuzuki... Wow. I mean, he has his reasons to be emo, there were some times where he was emo even in the anime and manga, but man, it's taken to total different levels here. Would Tsuzuki have a tough time copping with what happened at the end of the Kyoto Arc? Hell yes! Would it be bad enough to take him out of the field for months? I highly doubt it, because Tsuzuki can show that he can be incrediably powerful at times, and I do mean this emotionally.
Tsuzuki is an emotionally delicate person, but he's not made of glass. He's very complex, and I still believe that if anyone confesses anything, it'll be Tsuzuki first, not Hisoka. Is it possible for Hisoka to say so first? Yeah, but so far, I haven't seen this written well enough to my satisfaction.
I mean, it's really bad. You seriously want to clunk their heads together and call the waahbulance on their asses. I mean, I like my angst obviously, but the problem is if you focus way too much on angst, the angst becomes melodramatic and it's just so frustrating after a while to even the point where you say, 'Is this really how they would be if this happened?'
Akimya, like I said before, is only there to serve as a bridge and an obstacle to Hisoka. A bridge, because he's constantly getting involved between Tsuzuki and Hisoka. Which is a blessing because it cuts the emo moments. But also a curse because he only seems to serve this purpose.
He's also an obstacle, because he temporary becomes Hisoka's partner until Tsuzuki is 'ready' for field work again. As you can tell, that whole scenario is asking to explode on it's own. It does look like that, but it works out after a bit.
Tatsumi and Watari make brief appearances and for the most part, are IC. I did love the smackdown that Tatsumi laid on Hisoka near the end, because if anyone is going to be the sense of reason in this story, it'd be Tatsumi.
Negativities: Melodramatic Tsuzuki and Hisoka, littered fanpoodle japanese, emo after emo, boo-hoo sobs
Summary: Post Kyoto Arc, Hisoka has to overcome his feelings on his after life and his feelings for Tsuzuki. The path is anything but easy, especially when a certain psychic doctor is around the corner...
Overall: 6.3/10 - Despite the wangst and melodrama, it's still worth a reading because the plot and writing save it. If you like melodramatic angst, this would be the story to read. As for me, I think I'll pass on a third reading...