Part deuce, YnM fic
Mar. 26th, 2009 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogHere you go, part two of the trilogy series! I wish I could say this part was better than the first...
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Title: Somewhere I have Never Been
Author: Kouri Arashi
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: NCS hints, wangst, angst, more angst
Couple (if applicable): Tsuzuki/Hisoka, slight Tatsumi+Tsuzuki, OC/OC
Plot: 8/10 - Luckily no more 'my summaries suck'. Sometimes, stories need a long summary. And sometimes, a short summary is good enough. Short, simple, and to the point.
Basically, the story tries to build up some characterization around the OC, Akimiya, from the first story, by using Muraki's 'infamous revenge plans' to do so. I will say, the plot is fairly well thought out, and it flows very naturally from the beginning to it's cheesy conclusion. The only problem is the premise has been done to the death. I can count on both my hands and toes how many Tsuzuki/Hisoka stories that tried to rip them apart because Muraki wants revenge on them or more so Hisoka.
Writing: 6/10 - Again, this story falls to fanpoodle japanese. It's not nearly as much as the other story, but there's still quite a bit and it gets annoying especially when nearly everything can be translated into perfect english. STOP IT!
I take that back, it's REALLY annoying. Why 'Sayonara' instead of 'goodbye'!? Okay, I can really let that slide since people say that in real life. But COME ON! Gomen ne (I'm sorry), Ohayo (Good Morning), Aaa/Hai (Yes), Tadaima (I'm home)...
It goes on and on and on, seriously. There was one line about 'genki genes' (Happy genes possible?) that I really couldn't figure out the context at this point. Try running that through Goggle (Or just genki), you get a ton of different things.
Also what's amusing is the writer got Tsuzuki's name messed up around chapter 8. Asato is his FIRST name, not his last name. Almost everyone in YnM calls each other by their last name save for Tsuzuki to Hisoka. It's actually insulting to call someone by their first name unless you're really close to them.
There's also a problem with scene changes, so I dunno if it's because FF.net keeps changing it's damn freaking format system for breaks or not, but it can get a little confusing. However, since FF.net can be funky with it, I didn't really take off points for this.
Characterization: 4/10 - Sadly, this is where the story fails short yet again. Only instead of me complaining about Tsuzuki and Hisoka, I'm going to be bitching about Muraki.
And yes, the melodrama angst monster comes back around chapter 8, only Muraki is the main cause and he's the 'I want in Tsuzuki's pants, mwhahaha!' mode as typical.
I think people seem to forget that Muraki was after Tsuzuki's body NOT sexually, but for a completely different reason, this is also in the anime. Did he show a fixtation on Tsuzuki? Duh! Could it have been sexually? Perhaps, but not likely.
Muraki is a doctor, in a long line of doctors. Someone like Tsuzuki, who could regenerate when he was alive, would, of course, raise a lot of eyebrows, especially to people in the medical field. It's not everyday that people learn what Shinigami are and all, so from a medical standpoint, if someone was that off balanced and ignore the morality of it all...
It's like, people totally disregard Muraki's true plans in the Kyoto Arc (Putting Saki's head on the body of Tsuzuki, which is just flat out disturbing, but shows that Muraki has some lose screws) and only look at Muraki's flirting with Tsuzuki. Did it freak Tsuzuki out when Muraki made those comments to Tsuzuki? Duh? Was it 100% totally serious? Maybe, but given Muraki's true motives, it was probably to throw Tsuzuki off-balance because Muraki is the master of manipulation. I also think the problem is YnM has it's humor moments and people take them as 'srs biz'.
Muraki is not only a rapist and a perv. In fact, Hisoka is the ONLY person canonly that Muraki has raped. Everyone one else was killed. But in nearly every fic, Muraki uses rape to harm our favorite duo or he's turned into a rapist. Did people forget Muraki has done probably a LOT worse than rape, like what he did to Maki? I think being turned into a monster or god only knows how many people he's murdered over the years is just as bad.
Do I think rape is a lesser crime? Fuck no! My point is why are people focusing on the fact that he's a rapist and make that his focal point when there's much more to him than that. One dimensional villians are boring, and Muraki isn't that one. He does have other sides to him...
Now unfortuantely here, this story falls into the typical cliche 'Muraki gets in the way of Tsuzuki and Hisoka's tru luv'. Like I said before, while the plot itself is unique (More curses, cases just being a decoy, using our lovely OC, etc etc), the premise isn't. Basically, it's Muraki wants revenge, but he also wants in Tsuzuki's pants. It just gets so old, Muraki isn't that one dimensional. And it's really sad, because you got a fairly good plot here.
Besides that, how does Muraki know about all these curses and the like? Is he just developing them out of thin air (VERY unlikely, there has to be some source)? When could he slip through people's dreams and read their minds? Will this be covered in the final installment? I really hope...
I'm gonna end it right here, cause I'm not here to write a Muraki essay and I certainly don't defend what he's done, because I hate his guts myself. But I hate his guts because he's a fairly good villian in canon, and when you can achieve that...
Sadly, Akimiya falls to the angst monkey of doom in this story. He has every reason to do so, but it gets so old to have to trudge through it again and again. And it's like the same angst over and over again that you sometimes want to say 'shut UP, and DO something, for the love of cheese!'
As for Hisoka near the end before he rescues Tsuzuki? I won't go into it, because it's so goddamn melodramatic that it makes some soap operas on TV look tame. If I thought Akimiya was bad at the beginning, Hisoka totally shows him up near the end. Like big time. I seriously never thought that Hisoka could get more emo than Tsuzuki ever was or is in any fanfiction. He does here.
And it's really butt munching awful. I seriously wanted to throw him in the toliet and flush him down into the cesspool of emo hell. Save for the Tatsumi/Watari fic that I reviewed so long ago, I've really never been so full of rage over overly emo moments. Until I reread the near end chapters of this story.
Again, I don't mind my cup of angst soup. But when you cram about a quart's worth of it into a tiny little mug, you get a big mess all over the damn counter. And instead of having a nice cup of soup, you're cursing and raging because of the big mess it made instead.
There's not as much melodramatic angst coming from Tsuzuki in this part, but things don't start getting melodramatic for Hisoka and Tsuzuki till near the end, and since this is a first PoV from Hisoka, it makes sense we don't see much of Tsuzuki's angst.
And again, Tatsumi is the voice of reason, thank the lord. Honestly, Tatsumi seems to be my favorite in these stories because he lays the fucking smack down on the emo train. :D
Negativities: Fanpoodle japanese plague, flat stereotypical Muraki, enough angst to fill a freaking pool
Summary: Sequel to 'Live Through'. Muraki is out for revenge, only this time, it's not just Tsuzuki and Hisoka he's targetting...
Overall: 6/10 - Suffers the same problems as 'Live Through'. Honestly, nothing is really improved from the last story, so if you like melodramatic angst and don't mind littered fanpoodle japanese, give it a least one read.
Part three coming soon!
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Title: Somewhere I have Never Been
Author: Kouri Arashi
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: NCS hints, wangst, angst, more angst
Couple (if applicable): Tsuzuki/Hisoka, slight Tatsumi+Tsuzuki, OC/OC
Plot: 8/10 - Luckily no more 'my summaries suck'. Sometimes, stories need a long summary. And sometimes, a short summary is good enough. Short, simple, and to the point.
Basically, the story tries to build up some characterization around the OC, Akimiya, from the first story, by using Muraki's 'infamous revenge plans' to do so. I will say, the plot is fairly well thought out, and it flows very naturally from the beginning to it's cheesy conclusion. The only problem is the premise has been done to the death. I can count on both my hands and toes how many Tsuzuki/Hisoka stories that tried to rip them apart because Muraki wants revenge on them or more so Hisoka.
Writing: 6/10 - Again, this story falls to fanpoodle japanese. It's not nearly as much as the other story, but there's still quite a bit and it gets annoying especially when nearly everything can be translated into perfect english. STOP IT!
I take that back, it's REALLY annoying. Why 'Sayonara' instead of 'goodbye'!? Okay, I can really let that slide since people say that in real life. But COME ON! Gomen ne (I'm sorry), Ohayo (Good Morning), Aaa/Hai (Yes), Tadaima (I'm home)...
It goes on and on and on, seriously. There was one line about 'genki genes' (Happy genes possible?) that I really couldn't figure out the context at this point. Try running that through Goggle (Or just genki), you get a ton of different things.
Also what's amusing is the writer got Tsuzuki's name messed up around chapter 8. Asato is his FIRST name, not his last name. Almost everyone in YnM calls each other by their last name save for Tsuzuki to Hisoka. It's actually insulting to call someone by their first name unless you're really close to them.
There's also a problem with scene changes, so I dunno if it's because FF.net keeps changing it's damn freaking format system for breaks or not, but it can get a little confusing. However, since FF.net can be funky with it, I didn't really take off points for this.
Characterization: 4/10 - Sadly, this is where the story fails short yet again. Only instead of me complaining about Tsuzuki and Hisoka, I'm going to be bitching about Muraki.
And yes, the melodrama angst monster comes back around chapter 8, only Muraki is the main cause and he's the 'I want in Tsuzuki's pants, mwhahaha!' mode as typical.
I think people seem to forget that Muraki was after Tsuzuki's body NOT sexually, but for a completely different reason, this is also in the anime. Did he show a fixtation on Tsuzuki? Duh! Could it have been sexually? Perhaps, but not likely.
Muraki is a doctor, in a long line of doctors. Someone like Tsuzuki, who could regenerate when he was alive, would, of course, raise a lot of eyebrows, especially to people in the medical field. It's not everyday that people learn what Shinigami are and all, so from a medical standpoint, if someone was that off balanced and ignore the morality of it all...
It's like, people totally disregard Muraki's true plans in the Kyoto Arc (Putting Saki's head on the body of Tsuzuki, which is just flat out disturbing, but shows that Muraki has some lose screws) and only look at Muraki's flirting with Tsuzuki. Did it freak Tsuzuki out when Muraki made those comments to Tsuzuki? Duh? Was it 100% totally serious? Maybe, but given Muraki's true motives, it was probably to throw Tsuzuki off-balance because Muraki is the master of manipulation. I also think the problem is YnM has it's humor moments and people take them as 'srs biz'.
Muraki is not only a rapist and a perv. In fact, Hisoka is the ONLY person canonly that Muraki has raped. Everyone one else was killed. But in nearly every fic, Muraki uses rape to harm our favorite duo or he's turned into a rapist. Did people forget Muraki has done probably a LOT worse than rape, like what he did to Maki? I think being turned into a monster or god only knows how many people he's murdered over the years is just as bad.
Do I think rape is a lesser crime? Fuck no! My point is why are people focusing on the fact that he's a rapist and make that his focal point when there's much more to him than that. One dimensional villians are boring, and Muraki isn't that one. He does have other sides to him...
Now unfortuantely here, this story falls into the typical cliche 'Muraki gets in the way of Tsuzuki and Hisoka's tru luv'. Like I said before, while the plot itself is unique (More curses, cases just being a decoy, using our lovely OC, etc etc), the premise isn't. Basically, it's Muraki wants revenge, but he also wants in Tsuzuki's pants. It just gets so old, Muraki isn't that one dimensional. And it's really sad, because you got a fairly good plot here.
Besides that, how does Muraki know about all these curses and the like? Is he just developing them out of thin air (VERY unlikely, there has to be some source)? When could he slip through people's dreams and read their minds? Will this be covered in the final installment? I really hope...
I'm gonna end it right here, cause I'm not here to write a Muraki essay and I certainly don't defend what he's done, because I hate his guts myself. But I hate his guts because he's a fairly good villian in canon, and when you can achieve that...
Sadly, Akimiya falls to the angst monkey of doom in this story. He has every reason to do so, but it gets so old to have to trudge through it again and again. And it's like the same angst over and over again that you sometimes want to say 'shut UP, and DO something, for the love of cheese!'
As for Hisoka near the end before he rescues Tsuzuki? I won't go into it, because it's so goddamn melodramatic that it makes some soap operas on TV look tame. If I thought Akimiya was bad at the beginning, Hisoka totally shows him up near the end. Like big time. I seriously never thought that Hisoka could get more emo than Tsuzuki ever was or is in any fanfiction. He does here.
And it's really butt munching awful. I seriously wanted to throw him in the toliet and flush him down into the cesspool of emo hell. Save for the Tatsumi/Watari fic that I reviewed so long ago, I've really never been so full of rage over overly emo moments. Until I reread the near end chapters of this story.
Again, I don't mind my cup of angst soup. But when you cram about a quart's worth of it into a tiny little mug, you get a big mess all over the damn counter. And instead of having a nice cup of soup, you're cursing and raging because of the big mess it made instead.
There's not as much melodramatic angst coming from Tsuzuki in this part, but things don't start getting melodramatic for Hisoka and Tsuzuki till near the end, and since this is a first PoV from Hisoka, it makes sense we don't see much of Tsuzuki's angst.
And again, Tatsumi is the voice of reason, thank the lord. Honestly, Tatsumi seems to be my favorite in these stories because he lays the fucking smack down on the emo train. :D
Negativities: Fanpoodle japanese plague, flat stereotypical Muraki, enough angst to fill a freaking pool
Summary: Sequel to 'Live Through'. Muraki is out for revenge, only this time, it's not just Tsuzuki and Hisoka he's targetting...
Overall: 6/10 - Suffers the same problems as 'Live Through'. Honestly, nothing is really improved from the last story, so if you like melodramatic angst and don't mind littered fanpoodle japanese, give it a least one read.
Part three coming soon!
