More parts of Heart to Heart, part 3
Oct. 26th, 2003 12:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzafandomblogTitle: Heart to Heart, Part 3
Rating: PG-13 so far
Pairing: Tsuzuki/Hisoka
Genre: Flangst
Summary: Hisoka finally confronts Tsuzuki, who seems to be hiding something. Next part, Tsuzuki is STILL holding back, so what does Hisoka do?
Comments: By the time I'm done with this part, pigs will be flying out my ass. ~_~;;; I have to apoligize BIG TIME for people waiting and waiting for this part, but this is really hard to write. :/ It's over 4k words already, but it's only about halfway finished.
It's recommended you read the first part to this, which can be found here.
Feel free to leave comments.
Not much changed between Hisoka and Tsuzuki since 'the talk'. The days went by as they normally did; only there was an occasional hug or cuddle from Tsuzuki, who seemed to take great joy at doing that to Hisoka when he least expected it. Like hugging him when he had his back turned or when he was in deep thought and sometimes at work, which earned him a whack on the head.
Right now, Hisoka was comfortable with hugging and cuddling with Tsuzuki, but not openly out in public. He could see the smirks and the quiet laughter from people around him and from his fellow co-workers (which, of course, Tsuzuki seemed to be oblivious to) and it made him feel uncomfortable.
Whenever he brought it up to Tsuzuki, he would simply laugh and say, 'Awww, they're just jealous!' or 'You shouldn't think so much into what others think.' The first one earned him a slap, but when Tsuzuki told him not to worry about what others think, he didn't have the heart to counter or berate Tsuzuki, because partly, he was right. But he was wrong too; as it just wasn't proper to be intimate out in public, especially not when they were at work!
But it seemed that no one truly minded. Not even Tatsumi, who would show a small smile every time he walked in on them when Tsuzuki was feeling 'touchy feely'. He would then clear his throat and state that they should get back to work and 'save those things for after hours', to Hisoka's total embarrassment. And what made matters worse is that his embarrassment showed on his face, which made him a target to Tsuzuki's teasing.
When they were in the privacy of their home, however, Hisoka didn't mind the attention that Tsuzuki gave him. In fact, he welcomed it, craving the warmth and comfortable feelings from his partner. It felt natural to him. Like his 'home' was in Tsuzuki's arms and that he only felt at 'home' when they were close to each other.
What scared him the most, however, was how much he craved and wanted it. Like he expected Tsuzuki to come seek him out and have a 'cuddling session' with him. What was worse is there were times where he wanted the attention so much that he would purposely seek Tsuzuki out.
When he did though, he never told his true purpose seeking him out, but made up some sort of excuse. Like looking for a book he misplaced. Or wanting to talk to him about paperwork. And even sometimes asking him whose turn it was to do a certain chore like vacuuming the floor.
He knew that Tsuzuki had to have some sort of idea what he was doing, but he never said anything. He only smiled and stayed on topic of their conversation, never questioning why Hisoka was suddenly coming to him. After that, it seemed like Tsuzuki caught on and would guide Hisoka to the couch.
Sometimes, he would flip on the TV, but most of the time, they sat and spoke to each other about the day's events. Sometimes, they wouldn't say anything at all, knowing words that weren't needed, just simply enjoying the closeness that they shared.
However, after two months of this simple routine, Hisoka noticed that Tsuzuki never went beyond cuddling and hugging; despite the kiss they shared not too long ago. Several times, Hisoka thought Tsuzuki would kiss him again, which made him feel nervous and excited at the same time, but it seemed that Tsuzuki would always pull back at the last second.
Hisoka didn't know whether if he should again berate his partner for holding back or if smacking him would have a better effect. He came to the conclusion that neither would probably work. Even if Tsuzuki told him that he wouldn't hold back anymore, he still would, despite the protests, and he always would, unless Hisoka did something different besides talking.
An idea came to mind. But things would be a little different and more than likely, Tsuzuki would find out the 'secret' he seemed to keep. He decided though, that letting his 'secret' out was better than at the standstill they seemed to unconsciously create.
One afternoon on their off day, he noticed Tsuzuki sitting on the couch, seemingly engrossed in a TV program he was watching. He didn't notice Hisoka at all (Tsuzuki thought Hisoka was in the other room, reading away), who walked into the room and sat down next to him. He didn't even notice when the small lithe body slid closer to him. It was when Hisoka grabbed his cheeks, turned his head to look into determined eyes and felt warm lips press onto his own that he finally took notice.
When Hisoka pulled back from the kiss, he almost laughed at the stunned expression that was left on his partner's face. Obviously, he wasn't expecting what happened.
"Hisoka? Why did you…"
"Well, talking didn't seem to work with you. And I don't think I could whack you enough for you to get the message either," Hisoka explained bluntly, trying very hard to maintain a straight face. "So I figured taking the initiative would have the effect I needed." Here, a smile crossed his lips as he observed the hand that touched the lips he kissed not too long ago. Shyly, he asked, "Did it work?"
A return smile came from the older Shinigami. "I was wondering when you would do that."
"Eh?"
"Well… I knew you told me to not hold back. And I wanted to… you know," Tsuzuki explained with a sheepish grin. "But… what I wanted most was for you to come to me."
A scowl crossed Hisoka's face. "You knew then!?"
"I had the theory in mind, especially when you started coming to me for just random inane stuff. It's not like you to do that."
Right then, Hisoka wanted to hide his face in embarrassment. 'All this time, he knew what I was up to…' The best he could do at the time was covering his face with his hands.
"I just had to wait it out little by little, knowing you would get eventually frustrated. And it worked!" Tsuzuki took his partner's hands and tipped his chin up so he could look into his partner's face, which was already red from embarrassment. "Maybe this time, you can follow your own advice too? Without the subtle hints. Besides, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
"Wanting comfort or closeness isn't something to be ashamed of, Hisoka. I think that, deep down, for a long time, you wanted that, but you were always so… scared of it." Here, he took one of Hisoka's hand in both of his, caressing the knuckle with his thumb. "Being open with yourself and seeking the comfort of someone you care about isn't a weakness, as everyone needs it. And if you want it, I can gladly give it to you. You just need to let me know and how far we should take it…"
Hisoka chewed his lower lip in a nervous gesture. In a way, Tsuzuki's words hit closer to the truth. So why did those simple words make him uncomfortable? And what did Tsuzuki mean by 'how far they should take it'? Was Tsuzuki still afraid of crossing a line between them? Where, exactly, did the line stand between them?
Those simple questions needed answers if he was able to come to the conclusion he needed to come to. He knew the answers lied deep down inside of him, but trying to fish them out was like trying to pry Tsuzuki away from sweets!
Hisoka gave Tsuzuki an affirmative answer with the nod of his head. Right now, he would honor Tsuzuki's request. Maybe doing that would get him closer to what he was seeking. He had confidence that he would have the answer soon enough…
Rating: PG-13 so far
Pairing: Tsuzuki/Hisoka
Genre: Flangst
Summary: Hisoka finally confronts Tsuzuki, who seems to be hiding something. Next part, Tsuzuki is STILL holding back, so what does Hisoka do?
Comments: By the time I'm done with this part, pigs will be flying out my ass. ~_~;;; I have to apoligize BIG TIME for people waiting and waiting for this part, but this is really hard to write. :/ It's over 4k words already, but it's only about halfway finished.
It's recommended you read the first part to this, which can be found here.
Feel free to leave comments.
Not much changed between Hisoka and Tsuzuki since 'the talk'. The days went by as they normally did; only there was an occasional hug or cuddle from Tsuzuki, who seemed to take great joy at doing that to Hisoka when he least expected it. Like hugging him when he had his back turned or when he was in deep thought and sometimes at work, which earned him a whack on the head.
Right now, Hisoka was comfortable with hugging and cuddling with Tsuzuki, but not openly out in public. He could see the smirks and the quiet laughter from people around him and from his fellow co-workers (which, of course, Tsuzuki seemed to be oblivious to) and it made him feel uncomfortable.
Whenever he brought it up to Tsuzuki, he would simply laugh and say, 'Awww, they're just jealous!' or 'You shouldn't think so much into what others think.' The first one earned him a slap, but when Tsuzuki told him not to worry about what others think, he didn't have the heart to counter or berate Tsuzuki, because partly, he was right. But he was wrong too; as it just wasn't proper to be intimate out in public, especially not when they were at work!
But it seemed that no one truly minded. Not even Tatsumi, who would show a small smile every time he walked in on them when Tsuzuki was feeling 'touchy feely'. He would then clear his throat and state that they should get back to work and 'save those things for after hours', to Hisoka's total embarrassment. And what made matters worse is that his embarrassment showed on his face, which made him a target to Tsuzuki's teasing.
When they were in the privacy of their home, however, Hisoka didn't mind the attention that Tsuzuki gave him. In fact, he welcomed it, craving the warmth and comfortable feelings from his partner. It felt natural to him. Like his 'home' was in Tsuzuki's arms and that he only felt at 'home' when they were close to each other.
What scared him the most, however, was how much he craved and wanted it. Like he expected Tsuzuki to come seek him out and have a 'cuddling session' with him. What was worse is there were times where he wanted the attention so much that he would purposely seek Tsuzuki out.
When he did though, he never told his true purpose seeking him out, but made up some sort of excuse. Like looking for a book he misplaced. Or wanting to talk to him about paperwork. And even sometimes asking him whose turn it was to do a certain chore like vacuuming the floor.
He knew that Tsuzuki had to have some sort of idea what he was doing, but he never said anything. He only smiled and stayed on topic of their conversation, never questioning why Hisoka was suddenly coming to him. After that, it seemed like Tsuzuki caught on and would guide Hisoka to the couch.
Sometimes, he would flip on the TV, but most of the time, they sat and spoke to each other about the day's events. Sometimes, they wouldn't say anything at all, knowing words that weren't needed, just simply enjoying the closeness that they shared.
However, after two months of this simple routine, Hisoka noticed that Tsuzuki never went beyond cuddling and hugging; despite the kiss they shared not too long ago. Several times, Hisoka thought Tsuzuki would kiss him again, which made him feel nervous and excited at the same time, but it seemed that Tsuzuki would always pull back at the last second.
Hisoka didn't know whether if he should again berate his partner for holding back or if smacking him would have a better effect. He came to the conclusion that neither would probably work. Even if Tsuzuki told him that he wouldn't hold back anymore, he still would, despite the protests, and he always would, unless Hisoka did something different besides talking.
An idea came to mind. But things would be a little different and more than likely, Tsuzuki would find out the 'secret' he seemed to keep. He decided though, that letting his 'secret' out was better than at the standstill they seemed to unconsciously create.
One afternoon on their off day, he noticed Tsuzuki sitting on the couch, seemingly engrossed in a TV program he was watching. He didn't notice Hisoka at all (Tsuzuki thought Hisoka was in the other room, reading away), who walked into the room and sat down next to him. He didn't even notice when the small lithe body slid closer to him. It was when Hisoka grabbed his cheeks, turned his head to look into determined eyes and felt warm lips press onto his own that he finally took notice.
When Hisoka pulled back from the kiss, he almost laughed at the stunned expression that was left on his partner's face. Obviously, he wasn't expecting what happened.
"Hisoka? Why did you…"
"Well, talking didn't seem to work with you. And I don't think I could whack you enough for you to get the message either," Hisoka explained bluntly, trying very hard to maintain a straight face. "So I figured taking the initiative would have the effect I needed." Here, a smile crossed his lips as he observed the hand that touched the lips he kissed not too long ago. Shyly, he asked, "Did it work?"
A return smile came from the older Shinigami. "I was wondering when you would do that."
"Eh?"
"Well… I knew you told me to not hold back. And I wanted to… you know," Tsuzuki explained with a sheepish grin. "But… what I wanted most was for you to come to me."
A scowl crossed Hisoka's face. "You knew then!?"
"I had the theory in mind, especially when you started coming to me for just random inane stuff. It's not like you to do that."
Right then, Hisoka wanted to hide his face in embarrassment. 'All this time, he knew what I was up to…' The best he could do at the time was covering his face with his hands.
"I just had to wait it out little by little, knowing you would get eventually frustrated. And it worked!" Tsuzuki took his partner's hands and tipped his chin up so he could look into his partner's face, which was already red from embarrassment. "Maybe this time, you can follow your own advice too? Without the subtle hints. Besides, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
"Wanting comfort or closeness isn't something to be ashamed of, Hisoka. I think that, deep down, for a long time, you wanted that, but you were always so… scared of it." Here, he took one of Hisoka's hand in both of his, caressing the knuckle with his thumb. "Being open with yourself and seeking the comfort of someone you care about isn't a weakness, as everyone needs it. And if you want it, I can gladly give it to you. You just need to let me know and how far we should take it…"
Hisoka chewed his lower lip in a nervous gesture. In a way, Tsuzuki's words hit closer to the truth. So why did those simple words make him uncomfortable? And what did Tsuzuki mean by 'how far they should take it'? Was Tsuzuki still afraid of crossing a line between them? Where, exactly, did the line stand between them?
Those simple questions needed answers if he was able to come to the conclusion he needed to come to. He knew the answers lied deep down inside of him, but trying to fish them out was like trying to pry Tsuzuki away from sweets!
Hisoka gave Tsuzuki an affirmative answer with the nod of his head. Right now, he would honor Tsuzuki's request. Maybe doing that would get him closer to what he was seeking. He had confidence that he would have the answer soon enough…
